Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Maybe too much thinking.
We want to have more kids. But how?
I know *how* but as many know, getting pregnant for us is just not as easy as it looks in the books. We've always been open to adoption and still are. Perhaps baby #2 will come via adoption. Do we start the process now? Do I go and re-educate myself on the process and jump in full throttle?
You'd think that because we are both on board that it would be an easy decision. But no.
The thing is I really want to be pregnant again.
I loved being pregnant. Loved.
I felt my best when I was pregnant.
Mind, you I could do without labour and delivery...but then again, for the end result I'd do it a thousand times.
The option for me to get pregnant is IVF. IVF = cha-ching! Money which we are trying to save, but it's hard with so many bills and a toddler running around needing things. The other problem is that if I go through all that and we get to the point and there is 1 piece missing from one of us (ie: no eggs harvested or no sperm) then we have to use a donor. I don't want to go through everything and it be for nothing.
Problem.
One of us may be a bit uncomfortable with the use of a donor. We've talked about knowing the donor and not knowing the donor and are really not sure. We have had a few offers from friends which may sound rather odd, but it means a lot that they'd even offer.
I know we have a lot more talking to do..I just wish it was easier. It's been on my mind...I'm at that proverbial fork in the road and I'm not sure what path to take.
So what to do?
Discuss.
6 comments:
Well hmmmmm cant you start the adoption process and then if you do get bred shut the adoption part down? It isn't like there are any newborns not getting adopted.
I assume the donor is a sperm donor that is up in the air, surely you could go wherever they have sperm donors and they have genetic traits that are similar to your hubs. I mean hair and eye color and such height weight build etc.
If he is low swimmer count then you just mix his with the donors and when baby comes maybe it will look like him or its bro and won't be a prob. I think the donor that you know is prolly not a good idea, depending on ur hubs outlook on things. Unless he has a brother, that is a thought.
anyway
hope you have quadruplets!
Oh, I don't envy you these tough decisions.
The problem with adoption is that it's tough and a long road. Did you know that if both parents are over 35 you're not eligible to adopt in Ontario? I had no idea!
International adoption is so costly. But you'd be assured of a baby at the end of the road as opposed to spending thousands on IVF and not knowing if it will work.
I think - if I were you - that I would try to get pregnant again. You loved it. You deserve another shot at it.
But that's just me. The donor question is tough.
Normally I'd make some sort of "donor offering" remark, but I'll hold back. I hope that you come to a relatively easy decision. My only thought would be that IVF isn't a guaranteed thing, and the money spent would be money that could have been spent elsewhere... I think.
I would think adoption would be the way for me to go. IVF sounds costly and isn't really guaranteed. Donor... well... I might have trouble with that. Would it be your eggs and another man's sperm or vice versa? I would think that would bother me later in life. Not sure why. At least with adoption you know that you're on equal footing with the creation aspect... All I know is that you are in my thoughts and I love you and can't imagine how hard this is. xoxo
Well, I say, you only live once, and money is just money, even though it is hard to come by. You want to be pregnant and create your baby yourself, so you should give it a shot if that is what your heart is telling you that you want the most! Adoption can be every bit as expensive and heartbreaking I think. It's not really a guaranteed thing either ya know? Just know you are in my heart and you deserve so much to be "Mom" to any child. I loveth youeth!
Okay, this might be a stupid question, but have you been trying the old fashion way? I know you have trouble but I've heard of many people that end up getting pregnant easier the second time around.
Beyond that, have you seen the doc recently? Maybe they can come up with some other options for you.
Whatever you do or decide it will be the best for you and your family. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and your family. Hang in there Sassy!
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