Birthday Haiku!

Celebrate with me!
Spoiled at work by staff, kids
The big twenty-eight!

Kids melted my heart,
How did I get so lucky?
What little monkeys!

Hella and boy come
tomorrow for birthday fun
Kisses from "toquey"

Mr. Sass brought tears,
But will he buy me a horse?
"Keep dreaming Sassy!"

A Hella-va Sassy HNT!

Once again, Hella and I have decided to get a little sassy in front of the camera for HNT. I think it gave our camera man a halfer! I admit, the last one is a little more risque for me.

I love it when Hella comes down for a weekend. You never know what will happen. I'm just thankful for a friend who I can be (that!) close with. The sister I never had. Enjoy the pictures!

Don't you just wish you knew what we were whispering to each other?! I'll never tell!

Busted!

A quiet moment to contemplate life...in our thongs. Didn't you know that's how most women debate the mysteries of life, and come up with earth shattering insights? We sit around in our panties until it hits us!

Happy HNT!!

I'm like a doorknob..everyone get's a turn:

I was tagged three times: once by Osbasso/Kbear (same tag) and once by Hella.

First OS/Kbear: I simply must list 5 things that have not been reveled on my blog. I wonder what I haven't said?
1. I hate HATE HATE those damn smart cars. I intend to do a post on these stupid roller-skate wannabe cars.
2. A staple food in my diet is granola bars. I allow myself this 'treat' once a day. Ooooh live dangerously baby!
3. I like the sheets on my bed to be tucked in at the ends. It drives me crazy if they come undone. Mr. Sass prefers them undone. Grrrrr!
4. I still have all my Barbies and My Little Ponies from when I was a kid. No, I don't play with them anymore.
5. I had thick straight hair until I hit puberty...then it went thinner and curly.

Now Hella: I think it's get as much info on Sassy day!

A - Available or Single? Isn't available and single the same thing?! I'm married.

B - Best Friends? Hella is the sister I have always wanted. I am blessed with many great friends too.

C - Cake or Pie? Neither...cookies :)

D - Drink of Choice? Non alcoholic – Tea Alcoholic - Wine

E - Essential Item? My Car

F - Favorite Color? Purple

G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Worms

H - Hometown? Just outside Toronto. My whole life in the GTA area.

I - Indulgence? Something sweet, some wine and sex!

J - January or February? January - Fresh start!

K - Kids and Names? None yet

L - Life is incomplete without? Love, Friendship & something to challenge you to make you a better person

M - Marriage Date? July 19, 2003

N - Number of Siblings? 1 older brother and 1 younger brother

O - Oranges or Apples? Apples

P - Phobias/Fears? Bees/aliens

Q - Favorite Quote? To the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

R - Reasons to smile? I'm alive and healthy, and very much blessed.

S - Season? Summer

T - Tag 3 People: Mackey, Hippychic, and Dink (but only b/c I have to list 3 people)

U - Unknown Fact About Me? I just finished 5 things above.

V - Vegetable You Hate? Peas. Bleh!

W - Worst Habit? Swearing

X - X-rays You've Had? Leg, foot, chest, face, teeth. I think that's about it!

Y - Your Favorite Foods? Pasta, strawberries/pineapple and chocolate chip cookies!

Z - Zodiac? Aries! Does this shock anyone though?

I wore the worst bra ever today..in terms of support. Okay, in terms of looks too.
Someone slap me. It's a good thing I didn't get run over by a bus.
It's going in the garbage right now...right along with my 'kitty kat' socks that suddenly got holes in them.

Time to clean myself up and be presentable.

Sometimes you fall.
Sometimes you fall hard, and need the support of friends, even though you are ashamed to ask for it.
They pick you up, dust you off and love you no matter what. They give you back the strength you know you had buried in you, and help you see clearly.

Thank you Hella.
Thank you Jules.

Tagged by Hollz

My 6 favourite Spring Things:

1. When it gets lighter outside earlier and the daylight lasts longer. No more driving home from work in the dark!
2. The smell of spring/rain fall (minus the smell of worms after it rains). It's nice not to breathe in and have your snot freeze anymore.
3. The first sight of flowers growing! The tulips come first and I LOVE them!
4. Being able to be outside more. This goes hand in hand with spring being a time where there isn't many bees to harass me!
5. My birthday is in spring.
6. I like how everything comes back to life after a looooong cold and grey winter. It gives me hope.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that Haiku

Such a bloody klutz
Fell up the stairs, on my face,
Tripped by my own feet.

Couldn't sleep: bad dreams,
Millions of earwigs on me,
Wonder what it means?

Sunny and mild,
Canadians bust out shorts,
Only 11!!

A little Irish Love HNT

After posting about the shenanigans of our St. Patrick's Day weekend, it was noticed that both Hella and I were sporting shamrock body art in the area of our hearts and nunga-nungas. Cute aren't they? They certainly got some attention that night!

I decided to play with the picture a bit..so enjoy a different look at my love of all things Irish:


Next year, it will be a tattoo of a rainbow down my stomach, leading the way to the pot of gold...or is it the honey pot?

Hella and I also got a bit creative for next week. We haven't done a real duo HNT since the toes of hoes and when I popped her HNT cherry! Hmm maybe we did do a couple, but this one is probably a bit more risque! Something to look forward to perhaps?!

Happy HNT!

Empty pockets!

I've been debating getting a second job for a few months now. I've called about 2 very specific ones only to hear the position had been filled. I can't sleep when I know there is debt, and it worries me to think if an emergency came up, we might have to borrow money. It's not a huge debt, but it's debt none the less. Maybe I'm crazy to think we can live a fairly debt free life?
The problem is I don't know what I want to do for work. I've debating tutoring (and would seriously do it if the opportunity came along), and even going back to waitressing (quick, easy money at something I know I'm good at). I don't want to wear myself out or to do anything that would impact the energy I have for my full time job. It just seems that I have so much on my plate right now, one more thing might be too much, yet I really can't deal with this debt! I just wish there was some quick and easy way to make money, short of winning some gross amount.

Any ideas?
And no..any jobs in the sex trade industry are out.

Part 2:

I can't say I was 100% today being back at work. I still felt queasy, but perhaps that had more to do with it not being March Break anymore! Back into the swing of things, but as a co-worker pointed out, it's like 15 weeks until the summer holidays! Countdown is on!

Here are a couple more pics from Saturday night:

A trio of trouble if you ask me.

Where did our beers go Binsk?!

Mad Max: drunk and doing his Borat impressions. Lord help us all. I nearly peed my pants.
"They do a bang bang bang in other men anus. Wa wa wee wa! High five"

My head hurts...

It was a wild night.
Too much beer. Way. Too. Much. At some point beers just kept showing up in my hand. I admit that I was buzzing after one, and drunk after two. I need to build a better tolerance. Once we hit the second pub, there was some shots, more beer and then even more beer. How does that happen?
I'm nursing a killer hangover today.

The short (ish) end of it is this:
The live bands at both pubs were great. The second pub's band was clad in kilts and knew of my silly requests for songs I remembered growing up with, and played them. Even better was "Jesse." The son of one of the men in the band who had caught the eye of a certain sexy lass I know. Too bad he turned out to be a little too young! We tried. Onward and upward. Digits shall come!
There was a "mad" Russian friend we ran into that got our drunken asses laughing with his Borat impressions.
Here are a couple pics from yesterday/last night. I have a few more (even better ones!), but I shall wait to see if I have proper permission :)
Enjoy!
I must go back to bed. Work tomorrow. Ho hum pigs bum.

Because so many of you ask to see Mr. Sass...here he is. In Cooper's hat no less. He's trying not to laugh, but at the same time I do remember hearing "Why the hell do you want a picture of me like this? If you post this on your blog, I'm going to beat you." Bring it on tough guy.

Hella and I all tarted up and ready to go meet Miss Binsk. Yes, I look a little stunned, but it only gets worse from here on out. Drunk and stunned.

Empty glasses = Big problem. This was early in the evening...

Bottoms up! Getting a little pink in the cheeks...

A few new friends, who provided drinks and a couple laughs. At one point, "just call me Arnault" may have got offended at a comment and stormed off like a child, but as you can see he's back. The lesson here is that boys can't resist pretty girls, even when they are all the equivalent of married. They always come crawling back.All innocent fun. Binsk ~ for the record, I think he was gay and that's why he got all up in your face. =P

More soon!!

Erin go Bragh!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Hella is down for the weekend! We caused a bit of trouble at a karaoke bar last night. I may of made a few new boyfriends in the process. They were all over 60, but that's besides the point right? I think it would be easy to find a sugar daddy...although guaranteed that none of these men had many assets. They barely had any teeth. It was a fun way to celebrate a friend's birthday. For the record, I do not sing, but I'll be your groupie and your loudest cheer section!

Tonight, it's off to some Irish pubs with Hella, Mr. Sass and Binsk. We must celebrate our cultural heritage. I will get Hella to 'choke' back a few more pints of Guinness tonight too. Mmmmm sooo good!! I have my "Everyone loves an Irish Girl" panties on, and am decked in some green! Ready to go! Even Cooper is in the Irish spirit. We subjected him to yet another hat for pictures. Yes, in the first one he's doing he's balancing a treat on his nose!

Have a great St. Patrick's Day!

SLAINTE!

The good, the bad and the ugly Haiku Friday

Hella's coming down,
Celebrate St. Patrick's Day,
Drink green beer with Binsk.

House is ours again,
I've cleaned and reorganized,
Time for a party?!

Bridesmaid dress shopping,
A lovely cocktail length dress,
Feel the sarcasm?

Back is killing me,
Head pounding, nerves shot to hell,
Need another week.

=P

I was one of those kids who coloured with their tongue hanging out of the side of their mouth. I am one of those 'grown ups' that sucks/bites her bottom lip when I'm concentrating on something, or working hard.
I have to remind myself to stop so I don't look like such a tard.
Besides, sometimes I drool on myself.

Further bastardization of the English language:

Last week I went on about my pet peeve of the whole "borrow" me something, instead of using the word lend. This time, it's occurred to me how much I hate the misuse of the word "scissors." Actually, it's more the word "scissor."

Perhaps I'm wrong on this one, but it irks me right to the core of my being. Instead of saying "could you get the scissors for me?" or "we'll need a pair of scissors to cut this," I hear people say, "could you get a scissor for me?" and "we'll need a scissor to cut this."

Is scissor not a singular version of the word scissors? Wouldn't that actually work out to be half a pair of scissors then (and be totally useless)?
It just sounds wrong to me.
Am I wrong, or is this actually the correct way of asking for something that cuts?
Someone borrow me a dictionary so I can look it up. *sigh*

Ouch-ee-wa-wa!

I split a lip while riding today. I don't know how I did it, but it hurts.
My face looks fine though.
Enough said.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M!!

Almost.
The birds leave tomorrow.

Over the last few months I've learned many things. I'm not going to preach tolerance, patience, how to cook traditional Mennonite dishes, or any crap like that.
I learned about Science. More specifically: Genetics.
It occurred to me living amongst this clan (man do I have a clever name for them...but I don't really need to broadcast their last name, and any play on it I have), that I'm fighting a battle I'll never win. I thought I was fighting the "nurture" part of the whole "nature vs. nurture" debate. Wrong.
The issues that arise in this marital world of mine, I realize are genetics. Mr. Sass clearly comes by these things honestly. His parents to the same. I discovered that the following must be genetically imprinted:

• Leaving cupboards open, yet blaming others.
• Piling dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the (empty and ready!) dishwasher.
• An inability to empty said dishwasher.
• Taking out any kind of garbage. Instead, lets pile it up and see how high we can get it before it falls over.
• Not recycling (the bin is right beside the garbage folks!). This just isn't happening with them, and I tend to be a recycling Nazi.
• Spilling on a perfectly clean floor.
• Spilling anywhere and not wiping it up, but letting it dry/crust.
• Walking with muddy shoes across the floor, when there is a mat for the shoes.
• Leaving every single light on in the house.
• Spazzing during the wee hours of the morning when most sane people are sleeping.
• An insane love of eggs.

This list is by far not conclusive. I'd hate you to think I'm bitching (again). I swear it's bread into them. I'm guessing the only way to change it, is to give Mr. Sass a good solid beating to alter these genes?

This isn't a movie review...

I did it.
I finally watched The Notebook. I found a rare opportunity to be home alone on a Friday night. A perfect chance to go rent some movies Mr. Sass will never agree to (hmmpf!).
I loved it. I even cried.
I remember watching Ryan Gosling on Breaker High. Hmmm..that's actually a confession. I watched that show and really liked it! We used to bug a girl in highschool for watching it, yet I watched it too. Mean Miss Sassy!

I also rented Half Nelson. Our little Canadian boy was nominated for an Academy Award for best actor. I liked this one too. The movie really reminded me of how you never really truly know the person you work with, or what they are going through. That probably wasn't the intent of the movie, but that's what hit home for me. Maybe it was because of what I 'hide' from many of my co-workers and what I know is being hidden. None of us (that I know of anyway!) are crack heads. Well there is this one....

A Friday night well spent. I need another "chick flick" (that I haven't seen) to rent this week.
Any ideas?

First day of March Break Haiku:

Plastic "paper" cuts
that mother fucking bitch hurts!
Need a Pooh band aid.

The house is 'ready'
but no kitchen or paint yet,
Tuesday's the new day.

March break has arrived
One week to find some trouble,
Teachers gone wild!

St. Patrick's Day close,
Hey, Donald where's your trousers?
Peekin' up the kilt.

What do you say?

What do you say? What do you say to someone who just doesn't seem to get it? To someone who is being manipulated and used? To someone who deserves better but refuses to see that she does?

I don't know what to do anymore.
This person has always been used by people. Low self confidence if you ask me. I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'm not stupid either. Her last relationship was with a crackhead. She lived with him and his crack addicted friend, and didn't find out until later (and after living with him for over 2 months) that her own boyfriend is an addict. They abused her emotionally and used her for money, rides, food, and God knows what else. She finally leaves. Only to meet another boyfriend through an Internet dating sight. She meets him after only talking to him a couple of times. Declares her love for him. I think she is so desperate for someone to love her, that she looks past obvious faults and warning signs. In less than 2 weeks she moves in with him and his mother in a trailer park. He buys her a dog. He's been to jail many times, has 2 kids, and the mother of these kids lives with his dad in another trailer. He doesn't drive because he's lost his license to many times for DUI. He's stole her car one night with some girl, and then brought it back, stripped of it's high-end stereo and speakers. Her bank account was drained and her credit card has a balance no one is sure of. He says he'll pay for things, and then makes her pay. She's almost lost her job because she is with him, or driving him to work. She wants to be super skinny like the kids mom, so she's starving herself. She sits at my kitchen table and finally cries. She says she's done with him, but does want her stuff back. I say cut your losses and move on. Focus on you for awhile. You don't need trash like him. She cries saying it's over.
He calls.
She leaves. Says every person deserves a second chance. Gets mad that we argue otherwise. He's a loser and sees easy prey. She's with him now.
What do I say to make her realize she deserves better? To expect and demand to be treated well, or you don't need the jerk. Love yourself first.
What do I say to her to make her see?
Is there anything to say?

**HNT Below**

A little hope for spring HNT

With March being here, I'm hoping that the mountain of snow outside will swiftly melt away and pretty little flowers will pop up. Of course, that will be in my neighbours garden, since we know how much of a green thumb I have. I'm trying really hard to improve this though!

I can't even say this flower is real. It's a sham. A facsimile of a sham in fact! Someone decorated a gift basket with several of them, and I love Gerberas, so I kept them. At least this one won't die on me.

A little spring in my winter wonderland I guess.

The only other little piece of sunshine that has come to me was an awesome surprise from KSHippychic!! She sent a wonderful package full of treats and surprises!! A day that was feeling kind of blah, was instantly brightened by the most amazing and thoughtful friend! Thank you so much Hippychic! I love the gift, I'm grateful for your friendship and I love you!!

Oh Happy (HNT) Day to Everyone!

Pet peeve #319

I'd like to clear something up. Two words: Borrow and Lend.

Borrow: to take or obtain with the promise to return the same or an equivalent: "I'd like to borrow your hammer so I can bash your head in."

Lend: to grant the use of something on condition that it or its equivalent will be returned: "Could you lend me a pair of panties? Mine are wet."

My pet peeve is not that people want to borrow things, or expect me to lend them anything. No problem there. As long as you ask properly.
I can't stand when people say the following: "Can you borrow me 5 dollars?"
The word is LEND, not BORROW.
I can't even explain the rage I feel when someone says "borrow me."

Now that that's off my chest, I feel much better.

What phrases or bastardization of the English language tick you off?
Or am I the only one that cares?

Baby E-Unit

I'm so drained from the weekend. Nothing seemed to work in my favour, but it wasn't a bust. I did manage to get up this morning for my quasi-jog/walk in my effort to shape up. Let's see if I do tomorrow when it's minus 25!
I got a great laugh this weekend from g-man. He took one of my pictures of dear, sweet Elliot and pimped him out!
I love it.
He's a baby Mac-daddy (mac-pony?).
Thanks for the laugh. It's my new favourite picture!

Click on the picture to see it bigger...and the detail! I love his grill!

Oh looorrrd.
I think I am one of those people. At least with Mr. Sass I am. I tell a joke and I think it's far more funny then it really is. I'm the one laughing my ass off. At my own joke.

Unless it's just that he's lost his sense of humour...

Another Snowy day Haiku...

In like a lion?!?!
cleaning up after a storm,

snow and ice: not fun.

Spent the day at home,
Counting the days until spring,
At least it's pretty.

Bustin' out the green,
St. Paddy's day is coming,
Slainte chugat!

Countdown for March break,
Wish I was going somewhere,
No! Hell doesn't count!

Meet Elliot!

No he's not a moose.

Sometimes, something comes along and it just innocence and beauty just takes your breath away. When I saw Elliot it was love at first sight!
Elliot is 1 week old today. He's absolutely gorgeous and very inquisitive. He likes to come up and have his face rubbed and suck on your fingers. He's got a sparkle in his eye that suggests perhaps he'll be mischievous. Can you tell why I already love this little fella?

Elliot: his wobbly legs and little wee jacket to keep him warm.

Napping. It must be a tough life.

Elliot the mama's boy. Annie is the proud momma. Don't you just love his itty bitty bum and fluffy tail?!