Not so anon HNT

I've decided to post this picture.
I've had it sitting around for awhile, and will be recycling it per se. Some may have seen it, but didn't know it was me. I guess I've been hiding a few things these days.

Besides, this warm weather and sunshine has put me in the best mood ever. I'm feeling a little sassy too.Happy HNT!

That's one chunky burp

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but my dog burps and farts as loud (if not louder than some!) humans.

Hella can attest to this.

Particularly enjoyable is the after dinner burp. Like clockwork, the dog comes in from eating his dinner and meanders over to where one of us is sitting. He gives that cute puppy dog look so you bend down do pat him and scratch his face...then he burps. Opens that huge yap of his and burps. Then walks away.

Today a piece of kibble came flying back up (proof he inhales his food, doesn't chew it) and hit me in the nose.

I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Do other dogs do this?!

Showers, babies and endless yapping...

Again - I find that I have nothing interesting to say.

I think I'm still tired from the weekend. The bridal shower was a great success despite the rain and the intention to hold it outside. We fit nicely inside and people weren't bothered. However, it seems that Mr. Sass had volunteered us to take our friends 2 kids for the weekend. It only proved that he doesn't listen to a word I say unless he hears key words like "sex" or "steak." So he had the kids from Friday night until about 6:30 Saturday evening.
They are still alive.
They were happy and well cared for. I wasn't worried, but it's always nice to joke at the situation. Mind you there was no rest for me when I got home. I took over so poor Mr. Sass could sleep.
It's amazing how much you can get done before 9 am.
It's also amazing how fascinating a tower of cd's or a bookshelf full of books is so appealing to a newly crawling 10 month old.
Even more amazing is how an almost 7 year old can fill every waking minute with talking. If we didn't love him so much and enjoy the (endless) banter I would have duct taped his mouth by hour 2.
So that's my weekend in a nutshell.

1 surprise bridal shower planned
3 girls (and a pajama-jammie-jam!)
1 late night preparing
20 guests
rain
One happy bride who didn't kills us, after she specifically said "no showers."
Perfect.

Can't a gal get a nap around here??

Got home from work today, extremely hot and tired.
I thought I'd grab a quick nap before getting some much needed errands done. I stripped off my clothes, down to just my panties (that's for you Binsk) and a t-shirt and climbed into bed. Just as I drifted off, I felt a cold wet nose in the crack of my ass. Right up there.
I think I shit a kitten.
I'm awake now.

Either my ass smells like a mild bone or the damn dog wanted his walk and wasn't going to wait.
I hope to hell it's the ladder...

What's that saying about the shoe maker's kids never having shoes?
Well the same goes for the mechanic's wife. Her car doesn't get the attention it needs, unless it's main driver (me) yells and hollers or threatens to take it to someone else.

30 degrees today. Hot. Someone broke my sunroof about 2 years ago after the brighter-more-sane minded one of the couple said, "stop playing with it you baboon, you'll break it." Broken.
Air conditioning - shitty. Needs to be topped up or something. Apparently I have some kind of leak. Doesn't cool things off very well.
The clincher? The driver's side window doesn't work either. The power window motor crapped out. $500 for a new one.

Welcome to the ghetto car. Someone do me a favour and steal it.

**Edit: Wouldn't you know it. I play the bitch and complain and what does the man show up with? A new motor and all the tools to fix it here at home so I don't have to go another day...
"foot in mouth and head up ass..."

Food Meme - Thanks Os.

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Todd (Louisville, Kentucky, United States)
miss kendra (los angeles, california, u.s.a)
Jiggs Casey (Berkeley, CA, USA! USA! USA!)
Lee Ann (Birmingham, AL, United States)
Osbasso (Helena, MT, USA)
Sassy (Ontario, Canada)

2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location.

I guess I'm pretty simple:

1. Swiss Chalet - chicken and rib place. I worked at one for about 4 years, so I'm cool with their food prep and such. I can eat it and not really worry too much.

2. Jack Astors - Hockey. Beer. Wings.

3. Tim Hortons - Like I said: Simple. Tea and a bagel. Perfect.

4. Sahla Thai - Oh my giddy God. The best Thai food ever!

5. East Side Marios - Badda-boom Badda-bing. I prefer to eat mostly the salad and then package up the pasta for later.

3. Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.

Tag yourself. I'm too lazy. And now I'm hungry.

Karma will get you every time....

I swear I need another day to re-cooperate, after the long weekend! I barely made it home I was so tired! We were on the go non-stop all weekend. Besides a few social activities, I got every window (inside and out) cleaned and my garden is now underway. Good times.

How's this for Karma?:

A man tried to kill his wife by stopping the car on a set of train tracks. He actually pulled around several waiting cars. He positioned the car with the passenger side facing the on-coming train with his wife inside. As the train approached he got out and ran.
This is where Karma is a great thing...
The train hit the car and sent the car barrelling into the man as he ran away, killing him. The woman inside was not seriously injured.

Serves you right asshole.

Time to party!!

It's Hippychic's Birthday!!

Hope it's a great one babe! Filled with lots of cake, friends and many sweet memories!

Go wish her!!
Click here.

Drinking holiday Haiku:

Long weekend is here,
drinking weekend: "May 2-4"
First of the season.

Used to go camping,
This year, staying close to home.
No camping or beer.

Cleaning/gardening,
Sure know how to live it up!
I know you're jealous.

** A little cultural tip: in Canada, a "2-4" is a case of 24 beer. We love our beer. Since this holiday falls on the last Monday, on or before May 24th, and it marks the beginning of the 'summer' holiday season (read: drinking more beer than in the winter season), it gets affectionately called the '2-4' since that's how we will honour Queen Victoria: by drinking ourselves stupid.

Chocolatey Sweet HNT

How do you top banana chips? Any way will do.
From the nastiest to bestest!

A little Os bird told me it was the 2 year anniversary of HNT. When a celebration comes around, I'd rather skip any cake, pie or any other celebratory dessert. Nothing compares to a chocolate covered strawberry!

I made these ones for Mother's day to take to my mom's. It took a lot of convincing to my family that I actually made them. My mother is notorious for not cooking/baking. She passes off desserts all the time as home-made, even when they are still in their wrapping. She'd try to pass off an Oreo cookie if you gave her the chance. Mr. Sass came to my rescue and defended the fact that I did make them, and I didn't completely inherit all ineptness in the kitchen (I'm kidding mom. When you do cook, it's yummy. Dried out, but yummy!).
This was taken after the big day with some left over berries. I got busted. I was eating them for breakfast.
Apparently when fruit has chocolate on it, it no longer classifies as an acceptable dessert?!
Dream on!

Busted! Sleepy eyes...or is that a "back off from my berry" look?

My slightly pissed, "stop taking pictures of me dammit!" look. Maybe it was more of a "back away from the plate" look?

Bon Appetit and Happy 2 Year HNT Anniversary!

Gag me with a spoon

I hate banana chips.

If I was ever captured by insane enemies who wanted to torture me for information, all they would have to do is roll out a big bowl of banana chips. I'd talk instantly.
In kindergarden they use to feed us snack and sometimes it was banana chips. Stubborn me would sit and refuse to eat them. I had to sit there until I ate them. By the time it was time for me to get on the bus to go home, my teacher would send me off, clearly annoyed that I didn't eat anything. I won that battle every time.

I can't get over the texture, the taste, the smell.
That, and they remind of cat anus.
I'm not eating it. Ever.

Happy Mother's Day!!

A very Happy Mother's Day to all my blogger friends who are mommies :)

This is my mom:

I'm very blessed to have a mom like her! She has taught me so much, made me into a strong person, was always there for me, and put up with me during my 'difficult years'. I loveth her very much!

I also wanted to say a very special to Happy Mother's Day to Hella! Another fantastic mom!
Hope your day is special babe!

3-0 Haiku for Randi:

Tomorrow's the day,
Randi's milestone birthday,
Go on and wish her!

Cake and best wishes,
Maybe some naughty fun too?
It's all about her!

Wish I could be there,
Party with you in person,
Lay birthday smacks down.

Maybe she thought she was a kangaroo?

I'm listening to the news this morning and I hear a story about a crackdown in a jail in Ireland. They went through and confiscated a whole bunch of things: drugs, weapons, cell phones, etc. However, the most bizarre thing they found was a budgie. A real live budgie. It was apparently the pet of one of the incarcerated men. Officials speculate it was 'smuggled' in through a female visitor.

Aren't pussies and birds not suppose to get along?
It brings new meaning to when someone says the pussy ate the bird.

Domanickle pickle to the rescue :)

I'm just having one of those days today.
I'm tired.
I'm moody.
I'm emotional.
I'm hungry, but too lazy to eat anything besides some fruit and crackers.
I'm achy.
I feel that if I say anything I'll just sound stupid.

I'm going for a walk to clear my head and hopefully perk up! I have no idea if I'll get to posting an HNT picture later, but I do have one of Domanick. Those close to me know how special he is to me, and the relationship we have. I can't believe he will be 7 in July. He's such an amazing boy! Time flies. I could spend every minute with him. I love that as soon as I arrive, he instantly crawls into my arms and snuggles close to whisper 'secrets' in my ear. He has the best laugh ever, and gives me such heart attacks when he shows me the 'tricks' he can do on his bike.


Jeeze, I feel better already.
Gotta love that.

Happy Birthday Exile - Even know you are away with your sweetheart, I'm sending big squishy birthday hugs your way! A couple more years and you'll have to iron that birthday suit of yours ;-)

You want to drill me?

I'm back from my dentist appointment. I've been dreading this one for weeks. I admit that I have a fear of dentists, yet I go every 4 months. Last visit (a couple of weeks ago), the dentist makes plans to do these 'fillings.' I don't have cavities, yet we have to fill something. He's been saying for years that we should yank my wisdom teeth, but admits that there was nothing wrong with the way they were coming in. My train of thought floats around, "why the hell cause unnecessary pain and suffering to pull some silly teeth? Let's wait and see what happens."
It may come as no shock to many, but my mouth is plenty big enough to hold all wisdom teeth, with a little extra room to boot. This is where today's visit comes in. Dentist-man says I have some deep grooves in my wisdom teeth that could become the breeding ground for cavities later. The solution? Fill them in, file them down, etc, etc. Preventative measure.
I point blank asked him, "Do you need a new car or something?"
He has a good sense of humour, but books my appointment anyway.

45 minutes and $550.00 later, my teeth are filled-ish (it was weird what he did, but I can't complain because there was no freezing or pain).
Thank God for insurance.
I did notice a brand new BMW in the lot though. I wonder if it's his?

I might like the handcuffs

I stole a birthday card from Wal-Mart on Saturday.
I put it in the top of the cart and then my purse got placed on top. I didn't want it to get crushed with all the other crap I had to pick up. When I checked out, I had my debit card ready...forgetting about the card. I didn't realize it until I had returned to the car and went to put the cart back.
Ooops!
I honestly looked around wondering if anyone followed me or knew. I even toyed with the idea of going back in to pay for it. However, this time, my bladder won. I tossed the card in the front seat and drove away so I could go home to pee.
I'm a thief.
All for $3.00

Someone out there will be getting a contraband birthday card I guess. I wonder if this means I should spend a bit more on their gift?

Paris Hilton gets 45 days in jail.
Some cupcake prison like Martha Stewart got no doubt. Still, a step down for this "heiress."
I'll miss my Paris Hilton sex tapes, but at the same time I hope to hell none emerge from this stay.
*shudders*

My pussy's in a tree Haiku

Cat stuck in a tree,
Lady with really long pole,
Three dogs at tree base.

Good luck with that miss,
that kitty won't budge a paw,
with mangy mutts there.

Sunny weather here,
tackling the garden and lawn,
wish I had green thumb.

Right now I'm colder than a witches tit in a brass bra, face down in the snow.
Yet the sun is shining and people are running around in t-shirts.
Go figure.
I can't get warm.

I don't stress too much. I tend to keep a pretty even (even laid back) temperament. It drives my teaching partner crazy since she tends to be a stress ball. I think we are good for each other. I calm her down, she gets me going.

There is one thing that stresses me out though. Consistently. There is no real way to say this without sounding like a complete dork, so I'm just going to say it.

The bank machines stress me out. More specifically, when making a deposit. It stresses me out to make sure everything is in the envelope and it's sealed. The open deposit door waiting for it's envelope and things turning away. In my mind I think 'what if I don't get it in in time? I'll probably be charged with fraud.' It's never happened, but what if.

I figure if I had some more money to deposit more regularly...then this stress would disappear. Feel free to send me cash.