It's funny. Today is the last day of school and I feel kind of left out. I miss the excitement of the last day and all the build up to that moment when you can kick those kids out the door..I mean..see them off safely to the beginning of their summer holidays. I've been excited all day even though I'm not there and really have no part of it. I remember as a kid how pumped up we were, but I think teachers are waaaay more excited for the break! At least tonight I'll go to the year end staff social. I'll be fresh as a daisy and they will all be tired and sweaty. I can take comfort in that.

Here's to summer!

Side note....My mom saw my singed hair and laughed her ass off. So much for it not being that noticeable. Mr. Sass says I have feelers. God I feel sexy.

Dumb Ass things I did as an adult...

I know better.
I lecture others on their ways of lighting bbqs. My mom for one turns the propane on and leaves it to get a match. Then she stands back and throws the match so she can see the big flame erupt.
Well...last night I went out to start the bbq and turned the propane on and tried to light it with the automatic lighter. Nothing happened. Usually I can hear the propane but I couldn't this time (it was raining at the time so no wonder I couldn't hear it). I turned the dial off to let the fumes clear and then went to try again. Clearly I didn't let them clear long enough. I kind of bend down, not directly over the bbq thank God, to see if I could hear anything while turning the knob.

Yup.

The flame caught and blew up in my face. I singed my eyebrows and a few of the hairs in the front are now short and singed. Luckily my hair was pulled back. It scared the ever-loving crap outta me. Thank goodness it's not bad and I don't look like a startled ear-wig or anything.
I'm just mad at myself for being soooo stupid.

*sigh*

I'm not bbqing tonight. It's a man's domain anyway. Even if I do do it better.

My computer is fucked up.
Again.

Same problem as last time, except this time, nothing that worked last time will work again. I'm royally pissed off.
I may have to bite the bullet and have someone look at it.
Either that or throw it out the window and then whore myself to buy a new one.

Ten dolla sucky sucky? =P

You know it's going downhill when all you can come with to write about is condiments.
I could comment on how I had to flip my heat on today and it's damn near the end of June. WTF is that all about? Last week I'm toasting myself and this week I have perma nippleitis.

I've been waiting for a book that I pre-ordered online to come. The next one in this series:


...but I got an email saying there is some delay and they hope to have it shipped out by Monday. Why did I pre-order it then? I could have just gone in yesterday and bought it from the shelf. *sigh* such is life. It doesn't pay to be lazy I guess.

You think I have problems?

He won't eat tomatoes because they smell like garbage.
He won't eat mustard because it's too close to the words "mouse turd".
He won't eat relish because it looks like boogers.

What's left?!?

Friday the 13th. Ho hum pigs bum.

My "baby" brother's birthday was on Wednesday. He's 27. Funny, I always seem to think I'm 27...so he can't possibly be. We've always been closer then my older brother and I. Maybe because there is only about 2 years between us (compared to almost 6 between my older bro and I) and we always into the same things. Well almost.

He had some problems in highschool. I should have seen it coming when he was in grade nine and used the $9.00 my mom gave him for his French Cahier to buy a pet mouse, then asked me to pay for his book. Damn him, because I did. Such a sucker. I swore he was going to get it when my mom found out, but she thought the mouse was cute, and never clued in to where he got the money. He ended up dropping out of highschool and getting into drugs and alcohol. Hard. He stole from us and made our lives a living hell until he "moved" out at 17 and lived his own life since he seemed to know what was best. It hurt all of us. It was a rough time in all of our lives. Gladly, things are much better now.

Since then, he's cleaned himself up to a very respectable young man. He doesn't drink or do drugs. He has a decent job and has done some extra courses related to his type of work. I guess he needed time to grow up and get a real life. He's a good friend to his amigos and helps my mom out whenever she needs it. He's an awesome uncle. He doesn't shy away from anything to do with Mason. He loves him and loves to be around the family. I'm so proud of the man he's become now. I wish him all the best!
Happy Birthday Kib!
(Yes..Kib..not kid.)

These pictures are from mother's day. He was up almost all night driving home. He was away at his best friend's daughter's dance recital cheering her on, but wanted to make it home in time to see my and my mom that day. That's just the kind of guy he is :)

Happy Birthday Kibby.

Even then...

I had some sass in me even then.
I was about 4 and my mother had taken me down to visit my grandmother. We were out grocery shopping and had returned home. My grandparents lived in a complex where we had to park and walk in, go up a flight of stairs and walk some more to reach their place.
While unloading some groceries, my grandmother handed me a light bag of food and asked me to carry it in.
I looked at her and said, "Now nana, you know I don't do go-sees."
And walked away.

Such a brat. It's a wonder I didn't get that bag of bread upside the head.

Weekend wrap-up

What an awesome weekend! The weather was unbelievable. It was rather on the hot and humid side, but I'm not about to complain. We spent a lot of time outside since there was a nice breeze. Mason adores the outside. He talks to the trees and the cars that go by. It's hilarious. We got a little shopping and bbqing in too!

Mason sitting in his "Bumbo" chair. He didn't even bat an eyelash when I screamed. A giant black and white spider crawled up my arm. It was n-a-s-t-y. The dog jumped up and was ready at attack whatever I was screaming at. Mason just laughed. I guess he knows his momma is a bit off her rocker.

He stole my sunglasses the lil' punk.

Enjoying the air conditioning :)

We hope everyone had a great weekend too!!

Tagged by Os!

I got tagged by Os. Since I'm in a great mood, I'll play along. Heck, I would have played along anyway, but if I was in a pissy mood, then my answers would be a whole lot different....
Here goes...

The Rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning of the post.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves in their post.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answers.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago? I was still in university. Probably completing my first year. So basically I was partying it up, drinking, smoking up, sleeping with random guys and gals....you know the usual stuff. I'm kidding about most of it. I was in school. No really....

2. What are 5 things on my list to do today? This is kind of sad really, but here you go:
a) Buy formula and cereal for the boy
b) Clean the bathrooms
c) Paint my toenails
d) Find 20 minutes alone to read (clearly I could be doing that now..but I choose this!)
e) Go for another walk once it cools off a bit. Can't waste this nice weather!

3. Snacks I enjoy: Hmmm there isn't much that can't go on this list really. My favourites are granola bars, strawberries, popcorn and if I want something bad I like cookies. I also like hot men to nibble on...mmmmm

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire? Pay off my debt and the houses/debt of my close family and friends. Make a crazy donation to Heart and Stroke foundation and several others close to my heart. Take everyone on a wicked holiday. Buy my horse farm (If I buy it myself then it voids the deal I have with my husband..haha. See my 100 list to the right if you are confused). I'd hire a personal trainer and a personal chef too. Oh God, I could do sooo much.

5. Three of my bad habits: 1. Picking at things. 2. Leaving things to the last minute 3. Making jokes at inappropriate times.

6. Five places I've lived (in no specific order):
1. Brampton, Ontario
2. St. Catharines, Ontario
3. Le Beausset, France
4. The G-Spot, Ontario
5. The big O, Ontario

7. Five jobs I've had (in no specific order):
1. Bagel girl at "The Bagel Stop"
2. Ronald Ranger at McDonalds (among other McJobs there. I even dressed up as Grimace)
3. Daycare worker
4. Nanny
5. Elementary school teacher

8. How did I name my blog: In short, I first used this as a place to rant and go off on my tirades which are usually kept in my head...and I've always been told I have a certain amount of Sass to me. So there it is "Sassy Tirades"...since it's changed in the last ohhh 2-3 years, I should probably rename it and make some changes eh? Meh.

I'm suppose to tag 5-6 people now. So I tag the first 5-6 people who read this. If you want to play that is. Don't pretend like you didn't read it...I could give a flying fuck either way.

Help!

****EDIT****
My problem (one of them anyway) is fixed!! Thank you soooo much to G-Man who sat with me (in a sense anyway) through all my issues and walked me through things. I'm sure he had much better things to do but he helped little ol' me and now my computer is back to normal!! Thank you so much G-Man. You have no idea how much I really appreciate this.
How does a girl properly thank you??


No...it's not about getting a decent salad around here (see below if you're confused).
We had a big storm last night and before it actually started, we turned the computer off. This morning when I turned it on, it's all fucked up.
I got a message saying that my screen resolution and colour depth are at a very low level and if I wanted Windows to fix it. I said "yes" but nothing happened. I went into the Display settings and tried to do it by myself, but I couldn't change anything. All the images are distorted and fuzzy..and really big. The colours are all off too. It's hard to explain..and hard to type anything with things like this.

Anyone have any idea what happened or what I can do to fix it???
Any help is much appreciated!

Mc-D-O-N-A-L-D-S can kiss my A-S-S

Awhile ago I went on about a bowl of lettuce not being a salad. (here)

Last weekend I was out all day and starved (!!!!). Knowing full well that there was little to eat at home (another stop I had yet to make) I decided to pick something up. I went to McDonalds. That's the closest place to where I was and closest to home. I ordered myself a nice ol' salad and brought it home.

I wish I took a picture of it. It was soooo pathetic. I paid $5.99 and tax for a bowl of wilted lettuce, 2 skinny-assed slivers of tomato (not even a wedge! Clearly intended for a burger, but somehow ended up in my salad.) and a chicken breast thrown on top.

No cucumbers
No carrots
No cheese
No radish
No mushroom
No small bursty tomatoes
NOTHING

What a rip off.
If I wasn't so hungry and tired, trust me I would have gone back and expressed my dissatisfaction. Someone there needs to learn what a salad is, especially if they are going to charge $5.99 for it.

*** I just looked up what their salads are supposed to look like... HERE. Yeah..not so much. Now I'm even more pissed because my salad didn't even have the little oranges a mandarin orange salad should have. SHIT.

I don't like to be whiny, but....

I got a tinfoil cut and it hurrrrts. Someone wanna kiss it better for me?
It stings like a sonofabitch.

Move over little pubic lice....here I am.

Look closely at the map of the great lakes. There is the southern tip of Ontario. Right there in the middle of Lake Ontario, Lake Erie and Lake Huron. Technically not right in the middle, or we'd be wet...but you get the idea.


The island mass is shaped like a wee little elephant.

See it?

Cute eh?

Now look at where Toronto falls. We are the elephant's testicle if you will. Or labia, depending on the gender. It kind of explains the funky smell around here.