It's not a downer..I promise!

So we're suppose to get lots of snow this evening. I have to confess: I like the snow. Let me clarify. I like it when it snows and everything is all white and pretty. I like it from inside the house. I like it when I don't have to shovel it or freeze my ass off in it. I like the anticipation of the snow coming. I LOVE the fact that we just got a snowblower, so A) I'm not shovelling any large amounts of snow anymore and B) Mr. Sass will have an easier time. We do live in the snowbelt, so it will come in handy!

Yesterday, a bunch of my CLOSEST girls, our husbands, and kids (those of us who have them that is!) went to "Crunchy" Christmas....it's actually Christmas in the Country...but it's a long story. Jules brought out the antlers for the ladies. The boys had their own Christmas balls i guess, but they were tucked away ;)

It was really beautiful. The lights, the sounds of carols, the smell of fire and apple cider cooking in a big pot over the fire...mmmm. We went for a nice hay ride too. Next year I can only imagine that we'll be chasing the little ones all around and it will be that much more fun!

Me and my girls. The ones that are here for me no matter what. The ones who pull me out of my funk. The ones that I laugh with, the ones I cry with. My sisters :) (**see the one in the blue coat (beside the giant marshmallow)...she's making us aunties again!! **)


My boys: My life. You can actually see Mason's top teeth in this picture.

So yeah.
I can't help but feel like you are avoiding me.
That's okay. I tried. I don't know what I did, or if it's just that my "life" is so different then yours now, that you don't feel we connect anymore. Who knows.
Doesn't stop me from feeling bummed about it.

Buzz buzz went the little fuzzy bee

I had another "feed the bees" moment the other day. I was walking around the kitchen floor and my one foot kept feeling sticky spots. I was miffed because I had just scrubbed the damn thing the day before. However, when you see the mess my son makes, you can understand why it's not such a long shot that my floor is sticky. Again. Any mom would know. So when Mason is napping, I pull out the scrub brush and go at it again (oo-er). He gets up and I start to feed him lunch. I am STILL feeling sticky parts. I wanted to blame the little monkey, but it's not his fault. I pull out scrub brush and get on my hands and knees and spot scrub the spots that feel sticky. I sit down with Mason and cross my legs and see it.

I have a hole in my sock.

Nothing like spending all that time and energy washing your floors repeatedly when all you need is a new pair of socks.

Go feed the bees Sassy.

Thank you Mackey for checking up on me. I'm here. I've been reading blogs, but I just don't have the heart to blog for myself this week. Things have been kind of shitty. I don't always want to be a downer, so I've avoided blogging. Besides, I have nothing really to blog about, besides the lovely snow that keeps coming. Exciting eh?

I'll try. I promise.
Right now all I want to do is be alone. Sorry.

Bees and cookies....

I consider myself an intelligent person. However, sometimes I say something sooo stupid you have to wonder. It's usually these times that whatever it was that I said will be thrown back at me for a long time to come. For example, a couple of weeks ago we were on our way to a friend's house. Driving through the country, I was looking at all the houses, and farms and admiring the scenery. I saw a farm who clearly raised/farmed (?!) bees. Having the insane fear of bees in me, I shuddered and said, "I like honey and all, but I just don't get why anyone would want to have bees." The husband takes this opportunity to tell me he'd have a bee farm. (side note: I swear he only says this shit because I wouldn't want it. Anything I hate, he loves, anything I don't want, he wants...etc). Deciding to take a jab at his serious problem of not being able to get out of bed in the morning for work, I say "Oh really? YOU want to be a farmer now? A bee farmer? Remember how you don't do mornings? How do you expect to be a farmer? You wouldn't even get out of bed to feed the bees!"

Yup: Feed the bees.

He says, "you didn't just say I'd have to feed the bees did you?" It took me a moment (okay a couple of moments) to realize what I had said. Now whenever I do or say something silly/stupid he tells me "Go feed the bees!" Frig. What can I say? Sometimes the porch light is on, but no one is home.

On a side note, I'm participating in a virtual cookie exchange over at Another Suburbans Mom's place! No...not that kind of cookie! Real cookies you can eat (nooo still not that kind of cookie!) and have to bake. I'm looking forward to trying some new recipes for Christmas, and having other people get fatter asses and it not just be me. Check her out for more details!!

So Mason had his first trip to the ER yesterday. *sigh*
Nothing major, but the friggen walk-in clinic doesn't open until Thursday in this one horse town and instead of driving to my family doctor 30 min away, I thought the ER might be quicker. To make a very long story short, my little guy managed to scratch his cornea with his nail. I trim them short, but apparently one got away on me. Poor little guy was so off yesterday and obviously in pain. He wouldn't really open his eyes unless he was distracted with toys and then it was continually running. He was a trooper at the hospital while they put dye in his eye and checked him out. He was wiped after though. I was wiped too to be honest.
Then to top everything off, we had to go meet with the lady who will most likely be babysitting him when I go back to work (3.5 weeks folks!). It was a good visit, and he was mostly his usual self, but the poor gaffer was so tired.

There will be no swearing barrage today.

Spilling tea causes swearing..a lot of it.

So today I spilled my tea. It was in the cup holder of the stroller. I had just put Mason in the carseat and went to fold the stroller up. I forgot it was there and flipped it over, spilling tea all over the stroller and my pants.
BRILLIANT. The best part? I got in the car and cried. Yeah, I cried over spilled tea. Sure, it was a good tea, but it's just tea. It wasn't the tea I was upset about. I just can't explain it. I feel so helpless. Argh, I hate feeling like this.

Maybe a good barrage of swear words would make me feel better. Plug your eyes if you are offended. You've been warned:

FUCK SHIT DAMN HELL FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK CUNT BITCH SHIT ASS WHORE MOTHER FUCKER FUCKING CUNT SCAB ASSHOLE DIPSHIT CUM-DUMPSTER SLUT DOUCHE BAG DAMN FUCKING RAGING SHITFIRE COCK SUCKING DITCHPIG PUSSY FART HEAD SMELLY ASSHOLE PUSSY FUCKWAD ASSHAT DIPSHIT MOTHERFUCKERING ASSFUCKING TITTIE FUCKFACE TWAT BALLS.

*sigh* Okay, I giggled a lot writting that. Who says swearing isn't theraputic??

I do have things to post for once, but I'm not in the mood. I've been kind of down lately. In a funk and I can't shake it. I feel disconnected. Sad. Shitty. Meh. I can't really describe it. Time is flying by so fast and I can't find the pause button.
I have to back to work soon and I'm having a lot of anxiety over it. Just thinking of it makes me sick and tears well up. I hate it.
I hate myself right now too. I'm not happy. I don't like what I see. I'm not normally the "debbie downer" but for now, I am. I feel like my life is out of control and I can't fix it.

Sorry to be such a bummer. I'll be back. The real me that is...just don't know when. I guess I just wanted to vent..or put it on "paper"..to see if I feel better.
Notsomuch.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I'm wierd.

And deranged, and a few bricks short of a load at times.
Sarah gave me the award:
Now just to prove that I'm weird I have to post 7 more odd things about me. I've done this a few times now, so I guess it's just proving there are a lot of oddities about me...

1. My "baby" toes are very small and practically have no nail on them. There is hardly anything to paint.
2. I'll only really eat bananas if they are crunchy.
3. I've eaten frogs, snails, sheep brains, and horse. I'm sure I've eaten some other funky stuff, but I can't think of it now...
4. My underwear MUST have their own drawer. It's sacrilegious to make them share with socks.
5. I'm very ritualistic in the order that I shower in (ie: how I wash, get ready, etc)...if I fuck it up some way, it throws me completely off. I feel off all day.
6. I always have some silly kids song stuck in my head and will burst out singing it....it's even worse now that I actually have a child of my own!
7. When I need to "use the ladies room" (take a piss if you will), I'll most likely run upstairs and not use the one down here. We have 3 bathrooms in the house, and yet I use only one of them, unless it's an emergency.

So there you go...