Take a wiff of this

I find that certain smells can bring back memories or a flood of emotions. When I smell the fresh crisp morning air, it reminds me of camping with my dad as a little girl. That first breath of morning air as I unzipped the tent and reached for my shoes. Fresh bread and certain spices flash me back to when I was at school in France. Walking along the Cote d'Azur, stopping at cafes and meandering around the small towns. Dusty leather books remind me of one of my favourite places to sit back in university. A quiet corner by the window on the 12th floor. The view stretched for miles. I could trace the Niagara river to the falls, look across at the distant building of the states, and even watch fellow students rush to their next class, or lie about in the gardens. Cologne on a man can have me stop in my tracks and close my eyes, breathing it in.

Summer carries it's own set of smells. That fresh after the rain smell. The smell of sunscreen on someone's skin. The BBQ fired up and cooking dinner. The wet wood of a dock at the lake. Yes, summer is almost here and many of these smells can already be found floating through the air.

However, I find myself upset at one smell found more often in the summer. The smell of body odor. I hate to say it, but it seems to be more prevalent among men...unless I just have the better luck of meeting sweet smelling ladies! I have a suggestion for my ill-smelling friends. Let's shower more frequently when it's this hot, and give yourself a liberal application of deodorant. Even better if you follow that with a spritz of cologne! Clean clothes are a must too. I cringe when I see guys pick up dirty clothes, and wear them again, because they are too lazy to wash them. Unless it smells like fabric softener or detergent, then you need to pass it on to the laundry basket my friends! All in an effort to smell nice.

Just my thoughts on summer smells.

A buck a shot!

I took a double take at this packaging for some water balloons. Needless to say, my mind was in the gutter. I felt a bit better about being a pervert after showing it to a few people and they had the same reaction as me: "Wow! Look at that guy take the money shot!" But then again, maybe I'm surrounded by perverts. I love the dollarstore. Such a source for entertainment...all for a buck!

Must be love

Two island swans

They mated for life

And his faithful heart

Would not consider any other wife

There love was like a circle

With no beginning and no end

With his lady by his side

A treasure and best friend.

It seems that a swan in Berlin has fallen in love. Any swan loving person (not) knows that a swan mates for life, which makes the union of two swans that more special. Too bad, this union is destined to be short lived. You see, dumb ass swan here has fallen in love with a swan shaped paddle boat. Poor swan must be really into 'big chicks'. I wonder if he thinks she is playing hard to get or just being the strong silent type? I hope to God he doesn't try to mate with it. That will be an odd ride for some unsuspecting love birds trying to paddle around the pond. I do kind of feel sorry for the swan and hope they don't have the ability to feel embarrassment, because when he clues in, he will be the laughing stock of the pond (or just looked upon as one hell of a kinky sumbitch!)

Today's thought? Life is short and hard, like a body building elf.

I can see clearly now...

I am 5 pounds lighter. No, I didn't work my ass off and sweat the pounds off. No, I didn't starve myself for a couple days either. I didn't go and get any plastic surgery. I simply had my eyebrows waxed. I let them go far to long this time, and I fear I looked like chewy. Shame on me. I'm all better now, and no one has to be ashamed to be with me. You can actually see my eyes now, there are no hairy shadows being cast.

Kindness can kill

Is it so bad that my day was brightened by ruining another person's day? I killed her with kindness and I know it pissed her off more then anything. There is a lot of history to the story (maybe another day I'll elaborate) with this person. The gist of it is that I absolutely love to go out of my way to talk to this person, knowing she hates me. I like to talk to her until the redness in her face gets about eyebrow level and then I part ways laughing to myself. I love that she has tried so many ways to get to me, to upset me, but she hasn't succeeded. The stories I could tell!This is why she dislikes me so much. I can't tell you the joy it brings to me to see her so frustrated at not being able to control me like all the other puppets in her life. It's also sad that a person can be so hateful and so mean. If someone tries to say good morning, she will actually turn her nose up and walk off in a huff! This is just the kind of person she is. I have my theories for her behaviours, and some where even proved today through some sneaky investigation. On this note, I'm tired from being extra cheery today, and in need of some relaxing! Bring on the weekend!

Excuse me for this....

It seems like there is a lot of discussion about farting lately. First it was Mackey's blog, then Kari's blog. Earlier in the day yesterday a kid passed gas in class quite loudly. It was quite funny, and man was he proud of himself. I just wished my windows opened further. What do they feed these kids today?! Windy Wednesday no doubt!!

Just when I thought the air had cleared of this topic, it comes up again at work! We got talking about farting in front of friends and significant others (and no, I didn't bring it up!). Real intelligent I know. However, I may be of the opinion that nothing is off limits to talk about, and I may just find the actual accoustics of tooting quite amusing. It was interesting (well, interesting as far as fart talk goes) that more than half of the staff don't let it rip in front of their significant others. Even more said they would never crack one off while with a good friend or a group of friends. Have they never lived in a dorm or with roomates? Wouldn't you just explode one day?! What about my married/common law chums? Do you honestly climb out of bed to go fart? Or do you just silently let them slip out and pray they don't stink? Some said it was just nasty and impolite. Others said they knew their friends/SO's so well that all formalities go out the window, including leaving the room to pass gas. I guess it really depends on your view of farting.

It seems to have become less taboo then when perhaps we were growing up. As a society, less and less seems to be taboo these days. Look at the topics of discussion on tv/movies/radio. The language that is allowed in media now could be called appalling (I know this is coming from someone who has been known to cuss a blue streak...but come on people, kids listen to it), not to mention the sexuality and violence. So in the grand scheme of things, farting seems to be so minor, especially since everyone does it (even you Nicole, stop denying it. I know that was you in third year who farted in the car and tried to blame Keri). There are even a few books out, that being slightly juvenile and finding some humour in this topic, I do read them to my students. I enjoy the Robert Munsch book "Good Families Don't" and the "Walter the Farting Dog" books.

I don't mind if people fart in front of me as long as they excuse themselves (mostly this applys to the kidlets after all it's just good manners right?), don't hold my head under the covers, and let me crack a window or grab a kleenex to blot the watering eyes. I also don't want to see a skid mark on my couch when they get up (okay I know I just crossed a line here).

I'll save the talent of being able to identify a culprit based on smel,l and the excuses that fly when someone does drop a stinker for another day. You can thank me later for that. Until then, I swear it wasn't me. It was the asshole behind me.

Will you or won't you?

It's not always what it looks like!

Last night, I was out in the truck again (ohhh the excitement...jealous?!) and listening to the police scanners. A call came into police about a large group of bikers at a coffee shop (and shockingly enough it wasn't a Timmys!) and they appeared to be wearing 'biker gang colours'. It started with one cruiser going up to investigate. He reported that indeed there were many bikers wearing colours and dispatch needed to send back up ASAP. Several more cops arrive and suggest that there are now over 50 bikers. They even call for TAC (the major dudes with all the good guns and shields, and who get to break down doors and shit!). Ohh the threat!! They were all pretty pumped up about this encounter that was going to happen. They planned to meet and go in in numbers to 'investigate' and then call TAC if needed, who were standing by. Our lovely boys in blue stormed up......only to discover the evil culprits were Christian Bike Riders. Yup. Christian Bike Riders. It turns out they meet every Tuesday to go for a country ride. And for the record, the "apparent drug deal" huddle that was going on....prayer before they ride! Way to go boys...did you not notice the large crosses on their backs? Brilliant.

Motivation

As a teacher, I'm always looking for new ways to motivate my students (or 'con' them into learning something/being a good person, as some may view it!). If they are motivated, then I think they try harder to master something, and if in the process I can make things fun, we all win.

Motivation in general is the 'encouragement' to do something. Maslow's theory of the hierarchy of human needs (oh yes Brock girls..I did just bring up Maslow. You thought you'd never hear of him again eh?) is one of the most popular theories that discusses motivation. Basically, human beings have wants and desires which influence their behaviour. Only those unsatisfied needs can influence behaviour, satisfied needs cannot. Since there are many needs that a person has, they are arranged in order of importance, from the basic to the more complex. Once one level of need has been met, the person moves up to the next level. One of the higher levels is self-actualization.

I'd like to think that I try to foster the self actualization in my students...or atleast set them on the right path towards it! They are after all only 8 and 9.

According to Maslow a person in the self-actualization stage has the following characteristics:

- They embrace the facts and realities of the world (including themselves) rather than denying or avoiding them.
- They are spontaneous in their ideas and actions.
- They are creative.
- They are interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key focus in their lives.
- They feel a closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
- They have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
- They judge others without prejudice, in a way that can be termed objective.
(for those of you who care...I stole this word for word Wikipedia)

So there are my thoughts today. I don't quite know why I have been thinking about motivation. Perhaps it started with me looking for ways to motivate myself to keep fresh for the kids even as the end of the year approaches. I look for ways to reward the kids both intrinsically and extrinsically and have come up with some pretty hair-brained ideas in the process. Whatever works I guess. I think I also am missing being on the 'other side' of the desk. Parts of me (albeit small parts) miss being in school...and actually miss all this gobbleygook we learned about. Hence, the thoughts on Maslow.

I also realized that if I take a minute and think things through I can perhaps string something somewhat intelligent together (atleast it makes sense to me!). This coming a day after I wrote about porno tongue...geesh.
I'm sure I'll be back to myself tomorrow....

And so it ends!

Sunday called for a little relaxation. The best place to relax was in the hot tub with some wine close by! Nothing like the hot water soaking into your body, and the cool night air brushing past your naked skin!

In hind sight, despite the crappy weather, this weekend turned out great. I got to meet a new friend...which I can clearly see is going to be a recipe for trouble, given how similar we are. I can only image what it will be like with her, hella and I together. I'm looking forward to a 'girls' weekend in the summer at the cottage! I also got to see the beginning of something that could turn out to be very beautiful (*nudge nudge baby!*). Time will tell.

However, I did learn something new about my best friend in the process. Bottom line: she has a porno tongue. Just look at it! That's not even fully out! She could be the Ron Jeremy of tongues if given the chance. If she was into chicks, she could...well you get the idea. I don't want to be tooooo obscene you know.

And so another May 2-4 ends.

I am so smart S-M-R-T....

I pity the fools that are camping right now. I really do. Not to long ago I would be one of those fools out there camping, come hell or high water. Now, I check the weather channel and think...not worth it. After the last camping trip where we suffered through a train passing every so often (not to mention the 4am stop and go grinding outside our tent...thank you Nicole for the fine booking job you did!) and the ice and snow, I do not wish to ever be that cold again. We canned it for this weekend before it even started. Lucky we did. It has done nothing but pour rain all day. It even started to hail for a short time, followed by wet snow.

So we found other ways to amuse ourselves. I figure, we have to make something out of the weekend. Hella and I went shopping (dangerous), although I can say that I did not buy one pair of underwear...not one! Proud? I am. We spent the rest of the day with a wine bottle close by, some good company and some bad movies. Not much, but it was fun. I do not recommend watching Fun With Dick and Jane and Hostel was a let down. I need to stick to my list of "must-sees" that way I can't go wrong! Care to add to my list?

First Long Weekend...

Ahhh...the official start of 'summer'. The first long weekend of the year. The May 2-4 as we affectionately call it (taken from the term used for a case of beer). It's really just an excuse to spend the weekend drinking. I don't think many people truly know that we are celebrating Queen Victoria's birthday (for more go here). Many just know it as a drink fest and a day off work. Either way it usually proves to be an interesting weekend. Come Tuesday morning you hear the reports of all the dillweeds caught speeding up to their cottages, doing stupid things as they drive. Last year, one guy was busted weaving in and out of traffic doing no less then 180km, while eating a burger and playing with himself (okay, I'm kidding about him playing with himself..but you get the point). Tuesday will also bring stories of camping trips no doubt turned sour by unpredictable weather. We canucks don't seem to care, as long as we are out doing 'something' this weekend. It sets the tone for the rest of the summer. So, as the weekend starts, I wish everyone all the best whether you are celebrating or not. Cheers!

HNT laziness has consumed me

Another random HNT picture this week. Atleast I'm consistently inconsistent! It seems that Thursdays sneak up on me each week, but this week I was ready! I had one of those days where I just wanted to crawl back into bed after my shower. The weather has made me lazy I think. I love the feel of wet hair on my back, especially if it's a little cool in the room. I could lie there for hours if I had the chance. Now if I could just get into gear and find some clothes!
Happy HNT!

Where do your eyes go?

I was having a conversation the other day, centered around where a person's eyes fall when you first meet a person of the opposite sex. I'm guessing it varies from person to person, and probably varies even more so between the sexes. I'm guessing there has to be a top 3 list of places we 'check out' for each sex.

Admittedly, I look first at the eyes. Then I may check out the ass and the hands. I may have to wait on checking the ass out until the guy leaves, but you know I will. It may even be shocking to some that his 'package' didn't make my top 3. I wonder why that is?

I can't help but like eyes. They have a story to tell, and to hold someone's eyes for even just a couple seconds intrigues me. A man's hands also tell a story. I like hands that look strong and protective. However, there is something to a guy who has more delicate hands too, ones that could wipe a tear easily, or brush back pieces of hair. I also like when a guy has greasy hands, from working on some kind of car/machine. It's so manly. Oh gosh..maybe I have a hand fetish?!

Ass is obvious I guess. Why are people so obsessed with ass? (Hmm The Outlaw Torn had some quotes about ass from a show called Coupling that may help explain) It doesn't even have to be an ass you could bounce a quarter off of...I think most asses on a guy are great.

Oppositely, after "polling" a few guys (and no, this isn't meant in a sexual way people!) they came up with the following:
1. Breasts
2. Ass
3. Face (but this doesn't matter as much if the other 2 are great...beauty is only a light switch away). Men! Clearly, I need new friends or a better sample population!

Where do you look?

Trendy or just tragic?

There seems to be a fashion phenomenon that perhaps people are misunderstanding. Perhaps I am missing the boat on this one too. Jean Jackets are popular again (maybe they didn't go 'out' who knows). They seem to be perfect for this time of year too. It's still a bit cool to go without a jacket, but too warm to need a winter jacket. I confess that I LOVE my jean jacket. I am currently living in it, while I await the warmer weather. However, I only wear it with non-jean pants. I'm just not comfortable with wearing jeans from top to bottom.

This jean jacket-jeans ensemble has been affectionately called the "Canadian Tuxedo". I do believe the term was coined in the movie Super Troopers. However, being a Canadian, and a bit more savvy then most rednecks, I'd like to propose that we simply refer to this mishap as a denim tuxedo. Unless you happen to be from Northern Ontario you can have your jeans and North Bay Dinner Jacket (Flannel shirt) or your Canadian Tuxedo cuz you're probably a redneck, and we don't want to complicate things for you too much.

I've seen this 'look' no less then 10 times today, and quite frankly I'm not sold on it. I think there is something wrong with it. I can't quite put my finger on it, but people seem to do it, so does that make it okay? I was always taught that "just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you have to" (hey, it's not just for drugs and sex mom!) , so I'm going to stick to my guns here and avoid that look. Personally, I think if you are wearing your "Canadian Tuxedo", then clearly you are someone who is probably sporting your Scarborough suitcase too. For those of you who don't know where to get one, they are available at beer stores everywhere.

So tell me: Canadian Tuxedo: trendy or tragic?

Rockin' Out again

Went to see Seether last night! Small venue, so close to the stage, I think their sweat hit us a few times (mmm maaaan sweat...huhhhuhhh). Again, this group is amazing to be heard live! I was actually in awe at some points. They even sampled some Pantera, Weezer and my all time fave, Nirvana (Heart-Shaped Box), of which they did an incredible job! I'm actually so blown away that I don't know what more to say. Impressed am I. I need to see them again!

The opening bands is where I think I will make my comments. The first band Idle Sons was really quite good and worth checking out. Not to shabby for an opening band at all, considering I have been known to not make the opening band at all..something I really should stop doing! I'm sure we will hear more of them in the future.

Sadly, the rave reviews stops here. I don't want to completely bash the other opening band, but chances are I will...sorry in advance. Rocketface was the name of the band. Shitface is what I think. Just wasn't feeling it I guess. My first impression was that the drummer/lead singer looked like David Spade, then when he started to sing, that's all I could think of. There was no moving past it. It can't be normal for a man to reach such high notes without a foot in his balls. Then they kind of reminded me of those AV Tech kids in highschool, just these ones apparently broke into the music room and convinced themselves they could play instruments and sing. If there had to be one thing that was entertaining about their performance, it was only that one of them clearly had a mother there watching. Security had let her past the barrier and she was rocking out the best way a 60 something lady can. She was cute, and sadly far more entertaining then the band. The only thing that got us through it was that we knew Seether was up next...a necessary evil I guess.


Next stop: Ministry June 8th!

Happy Mother's Day!

If you're a mom, Happy Mothers Day to you!

Mel, your a great mom, despite what your son said to you this morning. Mel explains to him (he's 4) that it's mother's day. His response? "So, can I have eggs for breakfast?" Classic!
Can you feel the love?! That why I love this kid so much!

Tidbits

I saw another sign that made me giggle:

I like how this person took the time to stencil the "eating animals" on the sign. Very high class vandalism don't you think? This happens to be a very busy corner, so I'm wondering when they did it, and how they didn't get caught. Also, as a testament to my procrastination (in taking this picture), I've been laughing at it for over a month, so I'm also kind of wondering when someone will fix it?

---------------------------------

I heard a call come over a scanner (don't ask, just go back to the damn story about the tow truck) that made me roll my eyes. Honestly, people call 911 for the stupidest of reasons. Often the call comes for a "general feeling of unwellness"...ummm get your own ass to the doctor, you don't need an ambulance because you feel sick. I wonder what they do when they get the bill for the ambulance? This particular call came for fire response. The (idiot) person who called was doing laundry and had taken the load out of the dryer and placed it on the couch. The panic set in when the caller heard those static electricity noises (like those one you hear when you get a good shock). They were frightened because they thought their clothes and couch were about to go up in flames. They evacuated the house and called 911. The dispatch tried not to laugh, and sent fire "non-emergency". Some people!

We got this new student yesterday. It wouldn't be such a big deal except with one student, I find myself humbled. I'm not sure if that's even the word to describe it. Leveled? Who knows. Maybe I'll come with a better way to describe how I'm feeling. Either way, this one student has had such an impact on the students/staff around him. I find myself silent with thought these days.

He has come to us from Sri Lanka, not speaking a stitch of English. This is not so uncommon in Canada I guess, and especially for a town so close to the airport. I met him in the morning while he was working in the special ed room. He greeted me with the most beautiful smile and such shy eyes. How scary it must be to be in a new country and not understanding half of what is being said or even perhaps understanding the way we do things. I noticed that he was paying close attention to not only the students, but how they interacted with each other and with teachers. He watched us teachers while we talked and helped students. So eager to learn.

I was handed his 'file' and told to read it. My breathe was taken away. He has come to a tiny basement apartment from his home country with his mom and dad. He had 3 smaller brothers, who were all lost in the Tsunami. Reading that one line, brought tears to my eyes. Here is this beautiful boy who has experienced such pain, then moved to a new country and is surrounded by things he doesn't yet understand, yet he goes on. He smiles. Here are our kids, lucky to never have faced anything like this and to not 'want' for anything. 14 years old, and experienced so much.

His story however has put a face to that disaster for us, and for the kids. It seems so distant, intangible when we watched on the news. He has made it more real for us, if that makes any sense. As a school we did extensive fund raising and other benefits, however to meet someone to live through it, and see his courage is mind blowing.

The kids are wonderful. His class was told of the situation, and have gone out of their way to make him welcome. Students who are normally so self absorbed and cruel have had that edge taken off of them. They all want to help him be comfortable and learn. They have no real idea what loss he has faced, but they do know they want him to be happy. Even the 'toughest' of the toughest students have been humbled. This new friend has already taught them so much and he hasn't been here a week. They are eager to show him the computer, their music and anything of interest. They find ways to communicate. One student even found a list of phrases in Tamil, since no one at our school speaks this language. The students are learning with him. He learns the English and they learn Tamil. (**anyone speak it? We could use some help!**)

The road ahead will no doubt be bumpy, but I wish the best for his family.

Pearl Jam!!

I finally got a chance to see one of the bands that really influenced my music taste: Pearl Jam. There were one of the first groups I can really remember getting into (Nirvana will always have spot number one though!). If you must know the truth, I came into highshool listening to rap, r'n'b and reggae ( of which I sill listen to occasionally). I soon saw the light and the rest, as they say is history.

We headed down to see Pearl Jam at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto. For some, Pearl Jam has reappeared from out of nowhere with a sudden burst of attention around their new self titled album, but for the diehards they have not disappeared. They merely seem to fly low on the radar of mainstream music. The show was amazing! They held the crowd with easy transitions between songs, mixing new songs easily amidst their classic hits. Pearl Jam has been said to be more of a live band then a studio act, and after hearing Eddie Vedder's signature baritone voice live, I may have to agree with that. Some of those classic Pearl Jam hits just scream to be heard in a stadium, with some 20 000 people singing along. Band mates: guitarists Mike McCready and Stone Gossard, bass guitarist Jeff Ament and drummer Matt Cameron were in peek performance mode rising with the energy of the crowd. They played for almost 3 hours, giving us 2 encores and singing all the classics that I had hoped they would play, including my favourites Alive and Jeremy. It's no wonder why both Toronto dates were sold out!

On a side note, I just wanted to thank that drunk homeless man who scared the shit out me walking back to a friend's apartment. Lovely. Oh, and to the scalpers that I talked to about getting Tool tickets...you can kiss my ass. You are all a bunch of scam artists that are no doubt working with Ticketmaster to screw the fans. Fuck you. You can take your $300/ticket that you want for Tool and shove it up your ass. I will find another way, you dirty malurgalers! To everyone else, I feel much better now having said that, I apologize for my language, as it is not very lady like....hahahahaha.

Next stop: Seether on Sunday!

Today's show is brought to you by the letter 'D'

I'm playing along with a tag from the outlaw torn. I've stolen the directions straight from his blog (hope you don't mind!)

This is how it works.. in your comment to this post, ask for a letter, which I will give you as a reply to your comment. Then write ten words beginning with that letter, and explain the story or meaning or relevance of those words to you.. then pass out some letters too!
The outlaw torn gave me the letter 'D'

1. dedicated - I'll always put 100% into what I'm doing whether it be at work, an activity or a friendship. Do it right or don't do it at all! With my friends I will always be there no matter what. I keep my friends and family close.

2. death - no, I don't have a morbid fascination with death or anything, if I did I would probably be a mortician or grave digger, but as luck would have it, I'm not the great with a shovel. I've just had to much experience with death, starting at a young age (9) with my father. I hate saying goodbye. I don't think I fear death either, but I'm definitely not ready to go yet...got too much living to do!

3. drowning - I fear drowning. I think that would be the worst way to die. I like water and can swim quite well, but maaaan that is one way I don't want to die. As a kid I use to think that if my bellybutton got full of water I would drown. I told this story to my friend Keri and she has since given me the nickname BB....so too bad Keri, the secret is out as to why you call me that. You have nothing on me now! Muhahaha

4. daiquiri - I do love a good drink! Especially if it's a pretty one. I've gotten myself quite drunk several times on dacquiris! Let's be honest though, I should of just used the word "drink" as it covers all the bases, including tea, my other favourite drink! There is nothing like sharing a drink with a close friend, and chatting! Maybe I was a camel in a past life, because of the amount of liquids I can pack back. I think I'd rather drink then eat.

5. dreams - everyone has to have them, and I have mine. I hold them close and wish for them. I dream for many things not just for myself, but for those I love. I can't help it, I'm a dreamer.

6. dresses - I'd like to think I'm feminine. I'm not a butch, but I like to play rough, can drive a big ass truck, and drink beer. I'm not a huge fan of actually wearing dresses, but I feel it appropriately symbolizes femininity. I like to get dolled-up, and feel pretty. I have too many pairs of shoes, and am looking to expand my purses. I have a sick fetish for bras and panties. Like any girl (person?) I like to be complimented and made to feel special. Is that cheating the way I stretched that use of the word dresses???

7. dry - as in a dry sense of humor. I've been told that often my humor is a little dry. I've also been told its sick, so have your pick. A sense of humor is important to me in any relationship. I use humor when I teach too. If you don't have one, you will probably not get me, and I probably won't stick around too long! I think I am also one of those people who try to use humor in bad situations to cheer people up.

8. doodle - I like to doodle. I'm not that great of an artist, but I do like to think I am creative at times. I'm bad for doodling when I'm on the phone, or sitting around. Look at the corners of bills, flyers and there is probably random doodles on them! Oddly enough, when I'm done doodling, I get upset at myself because I've made something look messy, and I like things to be neat/organized.

9. drive - I'm driven by different things. I'm motivated by others, and to do for others. I think sometimes it's a bit unhealthy, but I fear leaving this world and not doing something significant with my life. I want to do so much, but feel so little in this world! However, sometimes I wonder where that drive went when it's 2pm and I'm still sitting at the computer in my jammies....

10. d-cups - okay, I needed to have some reference to my nunga-nungas! They are not quite d-cups though for the record. Stare all you want, I don't care. For the record, I also thought of listing other 'sexual' words that begin with d...but I tried to be mature, lest the peanut gallery decides to speak up...

What a big hole you have Agnes!

You would think that if a large rock got thrown through your window you would notice, especially if there was a larger shattering of glass strewn about and a rock in the centre of the room. You would think that if you had an alarm system it would have set it off. You would think. Why is it then that not one person noticed the large rock thrown through the window into our staff-room until about 10:30 this morning? I blame the weary sleepy-eyed looks upon our faces, and the preoccupation with not winning the 35 million (damn those 2 Quebec folk!) that had us not notice this small source of entertainment. The alarm didn't even sound this weekend when it happened, which begs the question why? Perhaps the alarm sign in our lovely gardens is just for show, and indeed we have a false sense of security. Perhaps some white shirt at the board office is convinced we have the protection of JC with us, and spending money on a working alarm system is just foolish. This comes after last weekend when perhaps the same individual/group of individuals thought it would be entertaining (and I'm sure it was) to create a Molotov cocktail and test it's explosive power on our school. The black char marks are still there my friend, among the tennis balls stuck in our ventilation system. Maybe it was just an eager science minded student who created this blast in hopes of gaining a new tennis ball or two. Who knows. I wonder what it will be next week. Perhaps a more simple approach? Might I suggest some TP and rotten eggs? Perhaps you might enjoy a good ol' fashion fecal smear across the walls? Whatever you choose, atleast it gives us some entertainment.

** please note, as a mature adult (no comments from the peanut gallery) I do not condone acts of vandalism (besides those I leave behind in random bathrooms), I simply am trying to find some humor in the fact that NO ONE noticed! Wake up people! Wake up! this includes me.

booze, a tow truck and some dried apricots

I thought I was well enough to go out last night, even for a little bit. It was a test for me. A little background information: my SO's car blew a head gasket earlier this week. Instead of fixing it like a good mechanic does, he found a different solution. He went to one of his friends and borrowed a tow truck. He can drive it all he wants, just pay for fuel and maybe hook a wreck back to their garage. If you knew how much this would cause me to blow a head gasket (I know I'll get a call when Mel reads this), you would have a better appreciation of the situation to me coming home to a bloody tow truck in my driveway (again). However, I have managed to stay calm and try to see both sides of this situation...I'm rambling on...

So, as a result, we were out in this truck (albeit it a brand new truck, fully loaded, of which I totally appreciated the heated seats last night). We were just going to go for a 'coffee' and to talk. Then it so happened that we ended up visiting with a friend in a nearby town. That's when a call came for a favour. Someone called the SO's friend's shop looking for a tow to Toronto. The call was actually a very decent cash call, so even though I was more than ready to go home, I had to go along for the ride. We arrived to 3 middle aged men at a very posh tavern drunk out of their minds, and still drinking. Nothing wrong with their car, just the drivers. They climbed in the back and away we went.

The drive was nothing but entertainment. Picture 3 middle aged Jewish men (I am going to presume some kind of doctors based on conversations and that this particular tavern is a favourite of doctors) barely able to sit up straight, singing and carrying on. In 45 minutes, they lectured me on how:
* I should have children because in their culture I'd be considered pickled by now
* I should have 2-3 (argument ensues over this) kids and 2 should be boys
* I should be able to smack kids all I want and pull their ears (?!?!) because schools lack discipline.
*That wives are great, because even though you want to kill them you need to keep them around but they didn't actually know for what (brilliant folks...brillant)

The lecture was only one highlight. They sang their little hearts out in Hebrew, babbled on about one thing or another with the occasional English word thrown in, and giggled like school girls. For some people, alcohol makes them affectionate. This held true for two. They smooched and cuddled up to each other. I'm just going to add here that I finally watched Brokeback Mountain earlier in the day, and now I was living brokeback Towing. I think I've seen enough of men kissing for this week thank you.

At one point, they busted out some dried apricots. I hate the smell of these things. They bring back horrible kindergarden memories of being forced to eat them and those dried banana chips at snacktime. All I can say about the damn apricots is they were kind enough to spill them all over the back, under the seat and then leave the bag on the centre console for us when they left. We dropped them off in an exclusive part of the city, watched one piss all over his driveway before stumbling in. The back seat was cleaned of their cans, bottles and apricots, the windows opened to air the sent of booze out, and we headed back.

On the way home, I decided this night needed a theme song (I blame the drugs and apricots for my altered state). I came up with the song:

"Beers, Steers and Queers" by The Revolting Cocks

but decided maybe it should be changed to:

"Booze, Jews and Chews"

I think we can keep the first as a more appropriate theme song for Brokeback Mountain, don't you think? No one asked me though. No one ever does. I think tonight, I am staying in.

Down for the count

I wish I had something interesting to write. I've been off of work sick. My days have been consumed with sleeping, and drinking juice and flat gingerale. Although I can't really complain, a few days on a liquid diet is not so bad for the waist line. I'm just pissed I was sick. I don't get sick. I have an immune system of steele! I can have every child sneeze, cough and wipe god knows what on me and be fine. It has been years, I tell you...years! However, this time, I have been brought to my knees (no comments from the peanut gallery) by some bug. Compared to others, I can't complain, I got off easy, but will spare you the details none the less. I am feeling better now and "back in the saddle" as they say. I will however, be finishing the popsicles in my freezer before I go anywhere.

A night at the theatre...

I had the opportunity to attend a play that the highschool was putting on. Several former students of my school were in it. No, I haven't been teaching long enough to see any of my grade threes off to highschool yet, but I do know some of these students, and wanted to show my support. Besides, a night out was needed! The school puts on a major production every year. This year it was "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" They put a unique spin on it, including versions of songs from each genre (rock, country, rap, reggae). Did you know that Joseph has a reggae star for a brother? or that he was actually sold into what looked like a mafia house? It was entertaining to say the least.

Two things struck me though:

1. These kids can sing! Two in particular...I was blown away. I thought at first they must be pulling some kind of milli-vanilli stunt. I had goosebumps. They were born to sing! And one has only been in Canada for 2 years! Impressed I am.

2. The kid who played Joseph (amazing singer #1) is quite possible the skinniest man-kid I have ever seen! He turned sideways and practically disappeared! Instead of throwing flowers at him after the show, I threw sandwiches.

It was just nice to see kids of that age (and that particular school) shine for good reasons! I am blown away with their talent and dedication!

Common interview question?!

I was chatting with my student teacher. She is a smart gal I tell ya. Her placement with me was actually done several weeks ago, but she comes in often to help me out. This is not what makes her smart though. Each time she comes, she shows up with a tea for me. Ahhh, no wonder I passed her with flying colours. Today was no exception. She decided to pop by after lunch to help me with an art lesson I was doing (AKA - I get you going, and then can have 10 min to sit and relax while you glue up the joint and put the room in shambles). I am completely exhausted today, and would have jumped her bones for the tea in her hand, had 10 8 year olds not been clinging off her legs.

She was telling me that her sister had a job interview at Wal-Mart. No big deal, except that she was asked interesting questions. I don't really remember what the others were, but one stuck out in my head:

"If you could come to work drunk or stoned, which would it be?"

What the hell kind of question is that? She said "neither" but was told that she had to choose one. What can that really tell you about a person, if you force them to choose? I started thinking (always a bad sign) of how I would have handled that kind of question. I probably would have asked what the interviewer was at that time: drunk or stoned? Then I'd choose that one, since somehow they still managed to find themselves in a position of authority. If I was going to seriously try and answer that, I'd go for drunk since it's atleast a legal substance...

How do you answer that? It's complete poppycock (to quote my grandfather).