Blame the Government

That's my new line around here. That and "fucking government".
Why you ask?
I owe. A lot.
It seems that while I was on maternity leave last year some douche in the EI office didn't take enough taxes off and so now I have to pay them back. Don't get me wrong though. I know how lucky I am to have 1 year of paid mat leave. BUT what I earned had us living below the poverty line and had us dipping in to our savings quite often, to make ends meet. Combine that with Mr. Sass' rough go at work and we are thankful that we came out and are on the up and up. It wasn't MY mistake. Why doesn't this chimp pay for his/her mistake?
We had plans. Now I have payment plans.
We wanted to get a new shed for all Baby Sass' outdoor toys and our patio furniture. That has to wait. "why honey?" Blame the government.
Dog needs a "dog run"...can't afford it now. Blame the government.
Was going to go to Ireland. Fucking Government.
We need to think about getting another newer car. Now this one will have to last a little longer and we pray it holds up. Why? Fucking government.
I was going to save a whole shitload of money by not paying for childcare this summer. Now it all has to go to the government. Fucking Government.

Everything that goes wrong is now the government's fault. It may be juvenile, but it makes me feel better to cuss them out regularly. So join me: FUCKING GOVERNMENT.

I needed some change...

So I bit the bullet.
I cut it all off.
No big deal.
It's only hair.
But I really liked my long hair.
The thing is, it's always been the same. So with a little convincing, I chopped it off. I don't know what it is though: I equate long hair with sexiness. I feel like a kid with short hair. Yet, I love shorter hair on other women, and think they look sexy, just not me. I feel like I'm 12. I won't deny that it's much, much easier now, especially since my hair is naturally very curly. Anyhoo, you be the judge:


You can't really tell in the picture but it's more of a graduated bob. Now I need to get my son a haircut!!

If this isn't foul...I don't know what is

Dude.
Sick, foul, nasty, insane...I don't know what the hell you want to call this, but it's just plain ol' DISGUSTING.

I had Baby Sass running around nude this evening because he has a pretty nasty diaper rash and I wanted him to air out. Sure, he's peed on a few things (stairs, my nightstand, the carpet...) but all is good. He loves being nude. The other day he actually let out a huge fart and when we looked down, he had left a good ol' pile of crap on the tile (thank god it was the tile!). Anyhoo...

He's nudin' around this evening, and I'm snapping a picture or two (his bum is beyond cute!) and I come around the table and notice there is a loaf on the floor. A loaf and a half to be exact. He crapped on the floor (again, thank god it was the tile). That isn't the nasty part though.
You know what is?!
The dog came by and ate the fucking turd.
Oh yes he did. He gobbled up that piece and a half of shit like we never feed the poor buggar and then licked the floor clean after.
Fuck me!
Really?! Yes. This is my reality. My dog ate my son's shit.
What is a girl to do?
....well I told Cooper to go give Mr. Sass a big ol' kiss when he came in from work for one thing...
That's a start.

If your stomach is turning like mine was, then here's a little picture to put a smile on your face:



P.S. You see the dog's snout in the bottom right corner? He's still licking his chops from his fecal feast.....I guess those of you who saw this post before I cropped it can attest to it being there. Thatgirl is right..too many perverts out there ;)

Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice

It's a girl!!!

I'm going to be an auntie in July and it's a girl!!
Alison Amy (or "Alisyn"...spelling to be determined later!).

I can't wait to meet her and hold her and sniff that new baby smell again!
Woot woot!!

It's not so bad...

Thank you to everyone for coming by to wish me a happy 30th birthday. It was so nice to keep getting messages from you wishing me well!!
Thanks for the birthday shout-outs from Mackey and Sage. I quite like the "29 and tax" and the "second anniversary of 29"...not to mention my spanks and big squishy boobie hugs!!

I've been partying it up quite hard. In fact I have woke up in different homes a couple nights, a ditch one night and fucked if I can remember what the hell happened. I haven't been to work in days and am nursing one hell of a hangover.

Right.

Truth? I've been passed out on the couch every night by 9. HA! Living the high life eh? It's been crazy busy at work. I've got a new partner in crime there and man..I though I was wacked?!?! I think I'm in love. Mr. Sass and I are trying to convince her to be our second wife (well my first wife, his second). I have even more of a blast at school...
Anyhoo..thanks for the well wishes.

Oh..did you know that a swan is the only bird with a penis??? Neither did I! I am kind of wondering how the unfortunate ones mate though.