I interrupt this post of fun festivities from Christmas to bring you this conversation from last night:

Mason and I were watching Diego before his bath.
Diego was trying to save a nest full of baby birds. Their nest had fallen out of the tree and magically landed on a rock in the middle of a raging river. Needless to say, Diego saves them. He tosses out a rope and hauls the nest in. He lifts the nest up and everyone cheers.
My son? Notsomuch.

Mason: Now dump them out! He makes an action as to tip the nest upside down so the sweet birdies tumble out.
He then howls with laughter.
I wonder if I should be concerned?

A few minutes later he's bouncing around on the couch (we were snuggling). He sits on me and squeals out: "Am I sitting on your guts?!"
Me (groaning): Yes!
Mason: Am I sitting on your nipples now?
Me: Yes! Off you little monkey!
Mason: Are they in the same spot?
Me: Yes dear. That's what happens when you get old.

I then sent him over to bounce on his father...who had fallen asleep in the chair. Next time I'm going to give him markers to decorate his daddy.

Mental note: We need to have less conversations about anatomy in this household.

Festive Parasites

What a title for a post. I couldn't stick with something more chipper eh?
But, it's the truth.
At about 3am on boxing day it started with Mason. He woke up screaming and when we came in he had puked all over himself and his bed. When I jumped up, I noticed my stomach was really queasy, but I didn't think much of it and attributed it to jumping up too fast and a delicious meal earlier in the night. I'll spare everyone the gory details, but Mason was up all night and my stomach issues kicked in at about 4 am. Mr. Sass was hit around 9am. Mason was finished with everything at about 9 and beyond being pale and not eating, he was happy. Mr. Sass had a few episodes and a fever, but was able to chase after Mason. Me? HOLY CRAP (no pun intended). I've never been so sick. EVER. It's a known fact that I don't vomit. People have tried to get me to with copious amounts of booze and then greasy, awful food the next day, etc. This time, I was no match to this flu. I had nothing left in my stomach by the time the wretching started...but man did I wretch and heave. Fek. A sip of water instantly came back up. I was so dehydrated...and had feverish dreams of apple juice and water bottles!
It is only today that I am feeling 100%. I still get nauseous at dinner time for some reason and am not eating anything too heavy but I feel good again. This lovely flu bug ripped through both sides of the family. Everyone got sick. Everyone. The odd thing was that the men in the family weren't as sick as the ladies. Hmmmm.

I think I must end this post...how can I possibly tell how we celebrated the birth of our Lord Jesus in the next breath after discussing diarrhea and vomit??

December 14th, 2010

December 14th - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASON!!

Three years ago my life became much more meaningful, much more blessed and much more fun. I found purpose again. I found joy in the little things. I found life. All the cliches are true. My heart is beating on the outside of my body. There is no love like a mothers. All of it..it's true. I can't physically love a person anymore than I love my precious boy. I love him so much it hurts. He is the wish that I made on every star, every night, for years. He is the answer to many prayers, many tears and much hope. I am so thankful for this gift that I have been blessed with and I will never take for granted what I have been given. He is my life.

Mason,

I was thinking of the day you were born. I was thinking of the labour, the delivery and then the moment you came into this world. 4:02 pm. I cried. Man did I cry. Your mother is actually embarrassed about how much I cried, but I don't regret a tear I shed. Those were loaded tears. For all that happened to get you here and all the hope I had (and have) for you. I was so tired, and then suddenly you were in my arms. Tiny. Perfect. I could think of no baby more beautiful than you. You had so many people who came to welcome you into this world. You have so many people who love you. In the quiet moments of the night after daddy went home to sleep, we sat there, just you and I and I took you in. You were still awake and staring at me. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. In fact, I sang to you. That Frankie Valli song:

You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived.
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off you.

In the past three years, you've made me smile every day. You've made me laugh (boy- have you made me laugh..you're such a ham!!). You've made me slow down and experience things with you. I see it through your eyes, and life is more beautiful then I've ever imagined. You have grown into this wonderful, thoughtful, smart little boy who everyone just adores. To know you is to love you. I marvel at you everyday. The things you do and the things you say. I'm so excited to see what life holds for you. I'm sad at the same time, because my "baby" is gone. Time slips by so fast and I miss those moments where we would cuddle, or where you'd toddle off on your unsteady feet. The time where you were happy to sit in a stroller or where your crib was your favourite place to be. Now, on the horizon is preschool and kindergarten. Independence. Your own thoughts and ideas (and they don't always match mine!). You love your numbers and letters and trying to read. You zip around in your "red Mazda" (aka "cozy coupe") and "wedding car" (plasma car) and park all your cars. You love the Big Comfy Couch and grilled cheese sandwiches. You are cheeky and saucy, but in a fun way. You splash like mad in the tub and help me with laundry. You love to help cook and bake and do the "10 second tidy." You carry around your Lion everywhere you go. You are kind and loving to your "lovies" and those around you. You think tooting is hilarious and cry immediately if you think you've done something wrong..even if it's no big deal at all. You can melt my heart..and break my heart. You love fans. Love is an understatement. All you want for Christmas is a ceiling fan for your room..with a remote. Your smile lights up a room. Your laugh sparks others to laugh. You love your "man shirts."

You are the joy of my life. There is no one or no thing that I love more.

Happy Birthday my little Gigi.

Love, Mommy.

Snow, Snow and...no snow

Everyone who knows me knows this about me:
I am ALWAYS cold.
I hate the snow.
I hate the cold.
I hate being cold.
I hate the thought of being cold.
I dread being outside when it's cold.
Cold drinks are okay, but windchill and bitter booger freezing weather are not.

That said, snow between December 5th and January 3rd is more then acceptable. I like a white Christmas. I love that fresh blanket of snow look, especially with the Christmas lights. After January 3rd, it can melt and the warm weather should come. Enough is enough. After that time, there is no purpose or need for it in my opinion. I no longer see a beautiful blanket of white, but rather the piles of yucky dirty brown slush.

Ironic that I not only live in Ontario Canada, but I also happen to live in the snowbelt of our region. Our first year in this area and we bought a snowblower. Often I (watch others) dig out in the morning and once I get 30 minutes south to where I work there is either significantly less snow or no snow at all. You would have assumed that I would have packed my bags and headed south years ago, but I am Canadian through and through and this is home. Besides, I need something to complain about.

Now...on to the news. Most of Ontario got hit with a BIG storm. London had approx. 160cm (63 inches) of snow as of this morning and it's still snowing. The city has contimplated declaring a "state of emergency." You know it's serious when public transportation shuts down and even more serious when the univeristies close. DURING EXAMS. I never got that lucky while in school! Now..here's the thing. We dont' have much snow. A dusting in fact. You have no idea how odd this if for us. 20 minutes north they are buried alive. 10 minutes east? Same thing. I am living in a donut hole of snow. Funny thing is I want some serious snow. Maybe not 160cm worth, but some so I can (watch others) play and have fun!

Hmmm...maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

To Santa or Not to Santa...

While I was pregnant, Mr. Sass and I had this "debate" about Christmas. I grew up with the whole Santa charade and he did not. For him, it was never about Santa, always about the birth of Christ. My family balanced the 2. He didn't want to "lie" to our child, and I...well I want to "lie" to him!! It was always so much fun as a kid waiting for Santa and looking out the window trying to see him. Waking up in the morning and seeing the mess he made with the cookies, and the presents he left. I wanted that for Mason. I don't want to forget the real reason of the season either.
This debate was ongoing. Luckily Mason was born 11 days before Christmas so that first year was easy. We did stuff him into a stocking and took him to see Santa though.

Let me fast track to current day and save the rambling: I won.
We have a nice balance of secular and sacred. Mason believes in Santa but knows all about Jesus and is learning that we are celebrating His birthday. We've kept traditions of both families and I think we got the best of both worlds.

Christmas is so much fun this year. Mason really gets it. He's so excited for Santa. He watches his MAGIC SANTA video a lot (parents..check that out!!) and even visited the good ol' Mall Santa. He went straight over and shared a good laugh with Santa. Santa took lots of extra time with him (since all the other kids were apparently at the Santa Clause Parade in town that day). When Mason hopped down I heard him say "ohhh thank you Santa" when he got his candy cane. Santa was laughing and shaking his head. He looked over at us and said "well, that was a first!" It came as NO shock to us that Mason had asked for a ceiling fan for his room (with a remote). That's ALL the sweet boy wants for Christmas. A fan for his room.

I told Santa he better deliver or the kid is going to be crushed!

He asks me frequently if it's time to bake cookies for Santa and get his fan. We got him an Advent calendar to help him count down.

Have I mentioned how much fun this is?!

As a side note, I'd also like to say that I am proud of Mason. He's learning that it's not all about presents (which by the way I'll be shocked if he opens..he's not a present type of kid so far!). We did 2 Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes which he picked out a ton of things for. We picked a boy and a girl of the same age as Mason so he could pick out things he liked. We explained to him that there were some kids that wouldn't get toys and treats like he does. He asked me if they were crying. He didn't want them to cry. He took it very seriously. It broke my heart and made me proud at the same time. We have a great little boy.

So the moral of this here story (if there is one) is that:

1) I always win.

2) You can have the best of both worlds.

3) My son is damn cute. Check out his Santa picture:

Of course Lion made the cut there too. I had no intention of seeing Santa so he's kind of dressed like a little Pooker...but what can you do?

Thankfulness

In light of the American Thanksgiving, and my lack of posting anything back on the real (aka Canadian) Thanksgiving, I thought I'd post some things that I am thankful for. I was inspired by my darling Randi too :)
So here goes...

* First I am thankful for my family. I have a great family, and a great family of in-laws too. I am most thankful for my beautiful son though. I'm so blessed to know such unconditional love. I know what it means to love someone so much it hurts. There was a time that I thought I'd never have a child of my own, but I'm so very thankful that I do.

* A great job that I love. Mr. Sass has a job. We have a house and money. We may not be (even close to) rich but we have much more then some.

* Mitts and hats. Man is it cold out! I sometimes wonder why I don't live in a warmer climate...but this is home.

* My health. My family's health. A great health care system.

* That Mr. Sass hasn't made any anal sex comments lately. I wonder how long this will last....

* Good friends, good books and lots of laughter in my life.

* A PD day tomorrow! Woot! Woot!

Happy Thanksgiving to my American pals!

Heart Failure: 1 Sassy: 0

Oh. My. Gosh.
My child dropped the F-bomb.
AND it wasn't even because of me or Mr. Sass! Pay up to all those who had bets against me!
One of the kids at his daycare (older punk) told him "Fuck you" and he repeated it to the babysitter. And to me.
And then repeated it some more.
And more.
All night. "Ethan told me Fuck you." Must have said this atleast 12 times.


I am completely gobsmacked. I can honestly say I didn't know what to do. I ignored it, not wanting to make a big deal about it. But he'd say it again. Finally I said that he needed to use nice words and those weren't nice words. Nothing more said.


I have no idea what do say/do if he says it again. Advice anyone?


I know he's going to learn these words, but I didn't think it would be at almost 3! Now I'm stressing because my precious baby boy, my well behaved, smart little boy said the F word. Maybe I'm overracting, but I don't want him to be "that kid" that the other parents won't let their kids play with because he swears.
Please God, let this only be a "one time" thing where he's trying something new out and doesn't get a good reaction, so he stops. Please.


If not, I'll wash his mouth out with soap..like Auntie Keri suggested. Right after I fish it out of Ethan's throat..cuz boy I'm going to throttle him tomorrow....



Happy thoughts Sassy..happy thoughts. All kids swear at some point right? Happy thoughts...


Check out this picture of my little nerd:


Does this look like a little boy who says the F word?!?!
I'm going to go cry...

Last 5 minutes of the day:

Student: My dad is in Paris fighting in the war. But he's not dead. And my mommy is marrying my Uncle Bill.

Where do I live again? The deep south? Someone tell me what war is going on in Paris? Is someone fighting over a croissant in a cafe somewhere? Is it legal to marry your brother?

The sweet gullible minds of children. Darling girl, your daddy is in jail (in the south coincidentally, where perhaps there is a war: who will be dipping whose "baguette" in whose "coffee...") and has left your family. Keep believing that. He is still your hero, but someday you will know the truth. And your mom is not really marrying an uncle...why did she get you to call him "uncle" ... it just makes things sound a bit creepy later on don't you think?

That is all today.

The Trews - Highway of Heroes

I should have posted this on November 11th like I had planned. A good Canadian band. Beautiful song and heck..it's my hometown in the video :) A little background: a section of one of the major highways through the city (401) has been named the "Highway of Heros" When we loose a soilder and their body is returned home, they are carried in a procession down the "Highway of Heros" People line the bridges to pay their respects. It's a beautiful way to pay tribute to our fallen soilders. Here's a picture to show just what I mean. It's no small deal:

Let me just say this:
I am thankful for the beautiful and free country that I live in, the right to speak freely, practice my faith openly, the education I receive, the health care that we have. The safety I feel. The love of my family. My whole family. The life I can give my son. Thank you.

Pray for Peace.

Conversations with Mom:

My mom, sitting on the couch with her eyes closed:

Mom: I need to go home.
Me: You can stay if you want, you know that. You look tired.
Mom: I have to go home so I can take care of my pussy.
Me: Mom - there are some things you shouldn't say to your daughter.
Mom: You're a pervert.

ME? I'm not the one who talked about "taking care of her pussy."
Just for the record.

She don't eat meat...but she sure likes da bone!

I don't miss it.
Okay, sometimes I do. But I guess I don't miss it enough to eat it when it comes down to it.
I feel a million times better. The only "problem" is that I struggle to make meals that make everyone happy. Meat for the meatatarian (Mr. Sass), something the baby sass likes and then something vegetarian for me that has everything I need.
I swear when I win the millions (although that would involve buying a ticket...) I'm going to get a chef to make dinners. Problem solved.

Anyone have any meal ideas?

And for the record: to my dear friend K - I AM NOT A VEGAN!!! hahaha You're such a punk. At least my kid doesn't poop in the forest...oh wait. He did. Loves ya.

What's been going on?

Sooo..my last post, I was not in good spirits. Obviously. I don't think anyone is shocked by that last statement. But it was how I was feeling at the time. Raw. Unedited. Meh. Let me catch you up...
The following week was a dream. The kids had their horns filed back, their teacher was no longer suffering from a week long migraine and sinus infection. Their teacher got her grove back. We had a really good week. It's been pretty good since. They are coming....but to be honest I just feel that my creativity gets stifled. It's hard to explain, but I have all these creative ideas that I want to do, but I just can't...they can't handle it, they aren't ready for it, we are too busy doing other things.... I'm trying to find ways to feel better about this and still have the kids learn. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself teaching grade one since it's such an important year (I know all years are important...but this year in particular shows the MOST growth. I think anyway). I want them so bad to succeed and read and write...that sometimes I set the bar a little too high and kick myself when I have to lower it and then lower it again....and perhaps again. BUT the good news is, that it will go back up. Baby steps. This is a challenging group. A low group. But a nice a group for the most part. My attitude has been adjusted back to the normal "Sassy" one since the last post.

What else?
My liver is fine.

And?
Mason was the absolute cutest lion on the block for Halloween! He kept saying "can we do a couple more houses mommy?" He ended up doing the whole street on both sides!! He loved it. I think he liked ringing bells and talking to people more than the candy. We have given most of the candy away (or helped eat it...*sigh*). He gets to pick one treat after he eats a good dinner...it's been helping him eat more! Hahaha..he's not use to getting candy, so it's been a big treat.


See? I told you. Totally cute. Roar!

Now we are in birthday/Christmas mode. This is the conversation we had this morning:
Me: Mason, you know who is watching to see if you are doing good listening?
Mason: Nana?
Me: Well, yes, but Santa too. Do you remember who Santa is?
Mason: Yes.
Me: He brings a toy to boys and girls who do good listening, and are nice to their friends.
Mason: (with that impish grin he gives me...you'd just have to see it to understand) Does he bring fans?
I had to laugh. All the poor kid wants is a ceiling fan in his room. That's it. Ask him what he wants for Christmas and he says a fan. Birthday? "A fan for my room. With a remote." At least that makes shopping easy right?

I think that's it for now. I'll tell you about my stiff neck and minor concussion another time.
G'nite!

Is it only October??

I'm being driven to drink by a bunch of first graders.
Heaven help me.
I say this in the nicest way possible...but I teach an absolute bunch of retards. I'm baffled by their lack of common sense everyday. Their lack of ANY kid of listening skills. I've never met a bunch or more molly coddled little brats.
I will whip them into shape..but I think the better part of them where either dropped on their heads or exposed to copious amounts of alchol in utero. Come to think of it a few of them have some pretty spaced out eyes....
I think I'm over stressed and underfucked. Hmmm..maybe I'll change my blog name? Ha!

Pass the wine.
What? That bottle is gone too? Shiiit.

Romeo, Romeo...

I feel the need to document this, just because it's been absolute crap lately. One of my darling grade ones came up to me today, took my hands in his and said, "Mrs. Sass, you look very beautiful today."
How do you not melt at that?
I'll tell you this for free: That kid is getting straight As.

It has me wodnering though.....I guess I must look like shit every other day?

Listen up men....

I found the place you were looking for:

I've said it before: I love the youth in this town.
If you look closely, you can see Mr. Sass waiting in the car, completely mortified that I made him pull over on this main street so I could hop out with my camera.

Waiting for my dessert....

I don't often open up about the infertility issues that Mr. Sass and I are faced with. I belong to online communities and have a good close group of girlfriends that are beyond supportive. It's not that I'm ashamed or uncomfortable talking about it, it's just that I sometimes can't stand the comments. The "it's not your time" "I'm sorry...that must really suck" "doesn't it suck when you see other people having babies all the time, especially those who pop them out and can't afford them or love them?" "Relax and it will happen" "Maybe you aren't doing it right." That last one is my favourite. I know people mean well and unless they have been through, or are going through infertility, they really have no idea. At all. None. I don't hold comments against people, but they still upset me sometimes. I can't fault people for not understanding either. However, I'd like to share something that will perhaps shed a little light...a little fraction of what we go through, and the feelings involved with infertility. I wish my sisters in this journey a big ol' slice of chocolate cake.

This is from WE ARE ALL MOTHERS by Christine Dallimore. She has written what my heart feels. What she has written has given me strength, and others insight. She is blessed with a gift, and I am so thankful she was able to share it with us...and now I share it with you:


Over the past several years, I have been confronted with many comments concerning my infertility journey. In my neck of the woods, not a whole lot of people can really understand the magnitude of the emotional luggage that comes with it. A lot of the comments have been something along the lines of....

"I wish I could understand your pain."

OR

"I can't imagine what it would be like to NOT be able to have children."

In response, I usually smile and say....

"Imagine that you have never tasted chocolate cake before. Others that have tell you time and time again how wonderful it is. Then the day comes where the chocolate cake is sitting right there in front of you. It does look amazing. You want it more than anything. You want to experience the joy of it yourself. It's right there in front of you, but no matter what, you just can't have it. You are told you must wait. Now take that feeling, multiply it by 100 and you may come close to how infertility feels!"

After that, they usually nod in acceptance. After all, who can't relate to CHOCOLATE CAKE?!?

When I am emotionally vulnerable, I write. Shortly after I lost Conner, I had so many emotions that I didn't even know where to begin to sort through them. Talk about never writing so much in all of my life! This little ditty is a small reflection of that time. It's still raw and it's not perfect. It does reflect my journey thus far however. It also expands a little bit more on what I talked about above. I'll warn you though- it is long winded!!!

"Imagine yourself dressed up in your finest clothes. You and your sweet husband are attending a dinner together in one of the nicest restaurants in town. You both have planned, waited and saved for this evening. To say the least, you are very excited! You and your husband arrive and the atmosphere is more than you expected. Everyone around you is having a good time. The chandeliers are sparkling, candles are glowing and sweet soft music is playing in the background. To your pleasant surprise you see others there you know. You are seated with them and in your heart you think there just couldn't be anything better!

The table is just exquisite. Breathtaking really. The people at your table begin to talk to you in jolly conversation. You glance at the menu and you don't even know where to begin! You look over everything slowly and carefully, especially the dessert menu! All of your life you have been hearing about this restaurant's marvellous and divine desserts. Deep in your heart, you have been looking forward to enjoying dessert the most!

Everyone at your table orders their food. For dessert they all order chocolate cake. You think, "Hey that sounds perfect. I'll have chocolate cake too please." The waiter nods in approval and quickly swifts off to put in your order. In the meantime, you are still enjoying the surroundings, the music and the company. You grab your husband's hand and sigh "Yes, life just couldn't get any better."

The food comes and everything looks just pleasing. Some of the things you tasted you really love, some of the things you didn't. Either way, you know that dessert is on it's way. That thought in and of itself is just exciting! Then you see him, your waiter! Your wonderful, blessed waiter with a silver tray full of plates of chocolate cake! He comes and starts handing out plates to those you know. You look at the cake and to put it simply, it looks just divine. You're even more excited now! The waiter comes to your side and then passes you and your husband. You are shocked and think there must be some mistake. you don't know what to do, but rather than make a fuss you think, "Just wait, I will get my chocolate cake soon too."

Those that have their dessert are going on and on about how amazing the taste is. You smile, you are truly happy for them. Deep down you are anxious and their feelings only feed your curiosity and desire. Then you see the waiter again and think, "Ahhh, here he is." You notice that he starts handing out seconds and thirds to those that have already had their piece of cake. Your husband doesn't notice, he's busy chatting with the fellow next to him! Deep down though you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know something is wrong, something is very, very wrong.

You ask the waiter, "Excuse me please. Where is my chocolate cake that I ordered"? The waiter just replies, "The baker has said that you must wait." He rushes off and not another word is said. Time goes on. You still enjoy the surroundings, the people and the conversations. All the while though, you can't get chocolate cake out of your mind. Time keeps creeping by and soon your husband notices too, "Where is our dessert?" You hold his hand and look into his loving eyes and think, "Even without chocolate cake, life is still good."

Time, however, creeps and it creeps. At moments it seems like it has even stopped. It's getting late and people are noticing you haven't received your dessert yet. Questions start arising and you just don't know how to respond. You look around other tables and notice that people are also getting their third, fourth and fifth servings of dessert. "Why" is all you have to lean upon. You notice that others have ordered things for dessert besides chocolate cake. There is cherry pie, brownie ice cream sundaes, raspberry cheesecakes and such. They seem just as pleased, if not more pleased with their desserts and you wonder, "Should I order cherry pie too"? You talk to the waiter and he simply says, "I'm sorry ma'am, you just need to be patient and wait."

You are starting to burn inside. Despite all of your best efforts you are beginning to boil. You really want to jump on top of the table and stomp while shouting, "Where is my chocolate cake." You don't though because you know that will get you no where! Instead you look around and notice that there are some that are refusing their chocolate cake. "It will make me fat" one says. "Ugh. I have enough already" another states. One woman, simply dumps her beautiful chocolate cake onto the floor.

As you look deeper around you, you notice there are a few others that are waiting too. Your heart goes out to them. You smile and wish there was something more you could do. You know their pain and it hurts. It really hurts.
Finally, the waiter comes and he has chocolate cake on that familiar beautiful silver platter...and he has enough for two. One for your husband and one for you! Your so elated with joy that you can't hardly stand it!!! You tell everyone at your table and they are just as happy for you. "We knew it would happen" they say. "You just needed to relax"! Little did they know that deep inside relaxing was the last thing you were feeling! You look at your husband. Tears are in both of your eyes. You carefully take a taste. It's such sweet, sweet perfection. You go to take another and just before you do the waiter comes and gently takes your plates away. "Something is wrong" he says. "Don't worry my dear, the time is soon."

There's confusion. Sadness. Anger. Above all though, you are just deeply and truly heartbroken. Heartbroken to the very core. You don't know what to do. You turn to others for support. They cry with you and too ask why. You take a deep breath and find the strength to go on. You have been given the promise that you will receive dessert. It is just not understood as to when. You decide to put your full trust in the baker. You reach far inside within yourself and find the effort to ask your husband to dance.

He looks at you and smiles..."Yes, I would love to dance with you my dear one." You both get up, leave the table and set off to dance.

As you are dancing, you get your bearings. You again begin to notice your surroundings. The beautiful surroundings that have so magically grabbed your attention in the first place. You remember the music, the sounds, the smell of the sweet flowers. You breath. That's all you can do. You breath and slowly begin to enjoy the moment again. Slowly, it all comes back to you. The things you love. Being with the person you love the most. The pains you have just felt are still there. Still vulnerable, but you feel life again. Yes, life is still good.

After quite a few dances, you both decide it's time to sit at your table. People still have their desserts and their chocolate cakes. Your space is still empty. You decide, however, to really focus on those around you. In doing so you find more joy. The desire for dessert is still there- but it's manageable. Time moves on.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, your waiter appears. He has the biggest smile on his face. He is pleased to announce that you and your husband's dessert is finally here!! Your heart wells up with joy, but you're afraid too. You ask the waiter, "Will you take it away"? "No, this one was made especially for you." You smile back, hardly believing that this could be true or real. You look at it and it's not a dessert you have ever seen before. It's then that you realize that the baker has made a dessert with all of your favorite colors and flavors. Careful detail was lovingly taken into every consideration. "How did He know that this is exactly what I wanted"? The waiter just smiles and says, "Because he knows and loves you." If you look, you can see him there. You look and at the door, through the little round window you see a gentle man with tears in his eyes. He is grinning from ear to ear and looking at you and your husband. You can't hardly see anymore because of all of the happy tears. You whisper a big "Thank You" and in your heart you feel that this simple phrase will never be enough.

You look at the people around you, they too have tears in their eyes. They too are smiling from ear to ear. Everything is so precious and tender now- even more so than when you first arrived here. It's then that you learn that the pains you have felt all along the way. The waiting, the crying, the agony. It's all been a special recipe to make this moment this much more wonderful and sacred.

In your soul you take a deep breath and slowly let out a big sigh of gratitude.

You grab your husband's hand and sigh again, "Yes, life just couldn't get any better."

Feb - 2003




By Christine Dallimore

22 years ago I had to say goodbye.
I love you dad.
Always thinking of you, always missing you.

Let's talk about me.

It's been awhile since I've done this...and another blogger recently did it, so I'm playing along. By my rules. I hope I'm not repeating anything I've written before, but if I do, you can add "uncreative and unoriginal" to the list. Sue me.

Facts about me: (it's suppose to be "interesting facts about me" but I find that a bit subjective)

1. I have an order to do things in the shower. If I don't follow this order, I get all discombobulated. It must happen in this order: wash hair, rinse hair, wash body, shave (if needed), rinse body, pumice feet, condition hair, wash face, extra attention to private areas (get your mind out of the gutter), rinse conditioner out of hair, extra all over rinse, rinse face, turn off water. Wrap hair, then body. Oh hell this OCD continues after the shower with my routine too. It has an order.
Don't mess with the order.

2. I really like peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches. It has to be iceberg lettuce. Try it. SO GOOD.

3. I used to listen to Ozzy Osbourne and Cyndi Lauper with my dad. I still get really happy hearing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

4. Toy Story is probably my favourite Disney Pixar movie. It also makes me happy :)

5. 32 G. Yup. Someone will get what that means.

6. I was an Air Cadet. hehe.

7. I was also a Girl Guide, but got "thrown" out.

8. I don't like William Shatner. Shitner is more like it. However, I can't quite place what it is about him that annoys the fuck out of me. Star Trek fans...don't hate me. =P

9. I did go to a Star Trek convention once though. I'm not explaining myself though.

10. Don't tell Mr. Sass, but I quite like TopGear on BBC. I've watched it a few times on my own too. It's way cool. With knobs.

11. I'd really like to unleash the inner slut of my bestie K. I know it's in there somewhere!! Turn her into a naughty little Minx. (I've mainly added that because she reads this and I know I'll get a call soon). It would be fun though....Meow.

Dear Anonymous,

You are really starting to piss me off with your spam. I've gone years without a spam problem and now you start. Is it really necessary?
I assure you that no one who spends (wastes) their time reading this blog cares about vacation destinations, casino tables and random football facts. At least not from an anonymous source. Nor can the majority of my readers speak the Asian language in which you post in. Let me tell you this...I think it's pretty universal:
Fuck off.
I say it again: Fuck off.
I am going to ashew you with a firm hand. And put the bloody word verification in. So there.

~Sassy

South of the boarder fun.

Sorry, not that kind of "south of the boarder" fun. This time anyway.

We went to the States for a weekend away with friends. Although it is not the first time I have been south of the boarder, I have a couple things to say:

1. Dear God my American Chums, what the fuck have you done to my Cheerios?! Banana Cheerios, Chocolate Cheerios, Yogurt Cheerios, Fruity Cheerios...it's just to much to take in.

2. Dear Bob Evans. I love you. I love that your kids menu is super cheap (ummm $1.99 for breakfast?!) and offers so many sides. I was super excited that my boy could have fruit or yogurt instead of fries or other (much hated by him) potatoes. One thing though darling Bob (if I can call you that?). Your portion size is out of control. Way too much food for one person. Actually this goes for every place we went. Why is everything so big? Why does it have to be "go big or go home?" We went home. To normal sized stuff. At the end of the day though, I love you Bob Evans.

3. Is there some sick fool behind the whole GPS phenomenon (to which I say is a "colossal waste of money". I like paper directions, but perhaps I'm old skool like that) that gets a kick out of fucking with people and sending them all willy nilly about town? I swear it's a sick joke to see how far off course you can take someone before bringing them right back to the same bloody highway 10 minutes later. Also, not cool to take 2 car loads of lost and confused white folk into the ghetto and tell them "you've reached your destination." Forcing them to pull into an abandoned and boarded up building's parking lot (we had our pick) to re-evaluate our directions...all while car after car of "interesting" (we'll leave it at that) individuals in far too expensive cars for the area, slowly drove by staring at us. We decided to wing it and get the fuck out there. So this message is for you TomTom: FUCK YOU!! We did fine without you.

Side note: K and M: this fiasco was by no far your fault, even though you own the bloody thing. I think it really wanted us killed. It was an adventure..and hey we laughed our way through it. Nervous laugh at times..but laughter none the less...hehe

So that's it for now.....

I'm not wondering anymore.

I was so sure.
I let myself think it was. I waited patiently not saying a word to anyone. 1 day, 2 days, 5 days, 8 days...nothing.I let my mind wander to the what ifs, the maybes and the future. I was happy. I was excited. I shouldn't have done that. Especially when I didn't know for sure.
Now I know it's not to be and I'm sad.
I feel foolish.
I should know better then this.
Sometimes life sucks and there is nothing I can do about it.

Hmmmmmm.
I wonder....

Makes me smile :)

I need to smile.
All the money problems in the world can't take away from how happy this boy makes me.




Mason: You are everything to me. I love you so much.

Let's pull our our rubber rain boots!!

Let's add to my list shall we:

* Computer has issues: $115.00 to fix.
* Lawnmower blows it's motor. Haven't replaced it yet. Thinking about getting a goat instead. I wonder what it costs to feed one compared to a new mower. I'd name him Moe.
If lawnmower wins at least it's the end of the year so there should be sales.
* Alternator in my car goes yesterday. $305 for a new one. At least Mr. Sass can put it in and I don't have to pay labour.

*sigh*

At least we have our health.
I'm very thankful for that.

Now I'm going to post something nicer, even if it's just a picture to make me smile.

It's raining, it's pouring...

It's been a rough couple of weeks. First I managed to fall out of the "babysitter's" house.
Yes. I fell. out. of. the. house. How does one do that you ask? Easy. Forget there is a little step down, trip on your flimsy flip flop...and voila...down you go. However, I did ease my fall with my elbow. I didn't realize the damage I did until I felt the blood running down my arm. 2 weeks later and it's a scabbed over mess. Bruises for decoration and all blood cleaned up. It looks real sexy. Do guys dig scars on chicks, like chicks do? I'm sure this will scar. It's pretty vicious. But I'm tough.
Except when toddler sass is being silly and he kicks my bruised and scabbed arm and part of the scab comes off. THEN I swear silently and want to cry.

Then just when we are getting ready for a little time away at the cottage, I start to feel sick. I have horrible back pain and am miserable (everyone's favourite version of me). I decide to go to the doctor just to make sure. Call it a gut feeling.
Turns out I have pneumonia. I'll spare the details, but I did end up in the hospital. The good news? I'll feel back to my 100% in 4-5 weeks. Just in time to go back to work (I'm sure those of you who work in the summer have no sympathy for me. Whatsoever.). I can tell I've pushed myself because at the end of the day my chest hurts and I'm soooo tired. Like today. Oops.
I'm not use to climbing a set of stairs (that I usually fly up 2 at a time) and huffing and puffing. I feel like I'm in horrible shape. Is this what morbidly obese people feel like? I don't like this feeling of being out of breath all the time. It sucks balls.

What else you ask? Oh just my washer and dryer decide to bite the dust. I can't complain too much because it's been so good to us for years. YEARS. But I don't want to spend the money...simply because we don't have the money!! But we have to. Argh. I'm feeling pretty broke. Let's break the last 2 weeks down:
Passports for all three of us: $200.
Dog vet visit: $300
Drugs for stupid pneumonia: $200 (I'm not going to lie here...I'll get 100% of this back when I send in my claim..but for now, I'm lazy and haven't done it)
New washer and dryer: Approx $1700 before tax. Ugh.
We were suppose to go away with some friends on a shopping trip to Grove City, but now I'm thinking we have to back out because that money will be needed for a washer/dryer.

Does this post sound like I'm whining?
Well I am.
I hate this.
I'm sick.
I'm tired.
I'm broke.
And I'm going to complain all I want. For now.

Maybe I'll be in a better mood and try to post something nicer. But for now...whine whine whine.
And a foot stomp for good measure.

Does it really matter if he was tired?

Check this article out:

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6622I420100703

They had me at the title: "Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix..." (who cares about the rest of the title). That shit right there is journalism at it's best. It's worthy of a colour and the bold button. I'm guessing if the guy is gay then succumbing to dicks isn't so bad. It's okay to be submissive once and awhile.
The best line in the article: "I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn't enough."

Let the comments from the peanut gallery roll.

...and GO!

Test.
This is why I NEED to have more children. He's adorable! :) I'm biased, I know.
I'm just testing my new siggy for another board :) You can disregard this message and just look at how cute he is. I'm okay with that.

If it was only as easy as the books say it is

Okay..this will be a heavier post I think. Not quiet as heavy as yours truly, but that's a whole other post...*sigh*

Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Maybe too much thinking.
We want to have more kids. But how?
I know *how* but as many know, getting pregnant for us is just not as easy as it looks in the books. We've always been open to adoption and still are. Perhaps baby #2 will come via adoption. Do we start the process now? Do I go and re-educate myself on the process and jump in full throttle?
You'd think that because we are both on board that it would be an easy decision. But no.
The thing is I really want to be pregnant again.
I loved being pregnant. Loved.
I felt my best when I was pregnant.
Mind, you I could do without labour and delivery...but then again, for the end result I'd do it a thousand times.
The option for me to get pregnant is IVF. IVF = cha-ching! Money which we are trying to save, but it's hard with so many bills and a toddler running around needing things. The other problem is that if I go through all that and we get to the point and there is 1 piece missing from one of us (ie: no eggs harvested or no sperm) then we have to use a donor. I don't want to go through everything and it be for nothing.
Problem.
One of us may be a bit uncomfortable with the use of a donor. We've talked about knowing the donor and not knowing the donor and are really not sure. We have had a few offers from friends which may sound rather odd, but it means a lot that they'd even offer.

I know we have a lot more talking to do..I just wish it was easier. It's been on my mind...I'm at that proverbial fork in the road and I'm not sure what path to take.

So what to do?
Discuss.

I'm trying dammit.
School's out for the summer. I should have more time. But I just feel that this blog is lack luster...but a friend of mine once told me that a blog that talks about a husband leaving her for a girl who likes a good fisting is quality. Top notch indeed.

That will give me some motivation to look beyond the mundane and find a little humour in it perhaps.

Haha.
Ha.

Happy Father's Day!

What a nice day! Mason and I baked muffins and made breakfast for Mr. Sass this morning (and unlike my mother's day breakfast, I didn't get him to clean it up!). Mason woke him up with a "happy father's day daddy!" It was really sweet. 2 minutes later he yelled "wake up daddy..put a shirt on and come play with me!" That's more like my boy!
We did our normal running around on a Sunday. Mason went down for a nap. So did mommy!
When we woke up we headed to Mr. Sass' parents house where we sat outside and Mason and Kayla (my 7 year old niece) ran through the sprinkler. They had a blast. I may have run through a few times too. It was such a relaxing, nice afternoon.

Happy Father's day Mr. Sass. You are a fantastic daddy. We love you :)

Mason playing in the sprinkler - he had a blast!

Mason and Kayla

Happy Father's Day to all the father's out there...and a special wish for a happy father's day to my own daddy. I miss you.

Therapy bills in the future?

So last night I had a dream. I had a dream that my loving husband left me for a girl who liked a good fisting.

You read that correctly.

Who dreams this shit up?

Enlighten Me

Someone..please...enlighten me.

What happened?
One minute we were great friends and the next minute we're not. What the hell did I do now?
I care, but I don't care. It's been so long and I've got such wonderful friends and family around me, but part of me would kind of like to know. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons and I guess you have served your purpose.
So like an old pair of underwear, I toss you out, never to think of you again.


I guess I'm getting all my frustrations out lately between here and other social networks...it's kind of therapeutic! *deep breath*

They love it from an early age...

A few (Penis) Masonisms of late:

* The babysitter's husband walks in and Mason goes over to say hello. He says, "Hi Martin. How's your day. Aaron has a penis." And walks away.

* Mr. Sass goes in to the bathroom and locks the door. It's the only way to get any privacy around here. Mason tries the door and tells me "Hey, it's locked!" I respond, "That's because daddy wants privacy." Mason then yells at the top of his lungs "DADDY HAS A PENIS!!!". He does this every time. He once yelled "Daddy wants a penis" by accident. I'm trying to get him to do that one in public. Mr. Sass would turn about 50 shades of red.

* My friend's little girl likes to take her clothes off (same age as Mason). Today she pulled her arms out of her tank top and pulled the shirt down her tummy. Mason walks by and says, "Oh Isabelle...your nipples!"

* As most know (and if you don't, I'm not explaining to you), boys will get random erections. Mason likes to announce "I have my big penis!"

I think he is obsessed with Penis. I wonder if I should be concerned....

Mother's Day Part 2. The truly romantic part.

The last post was an all mushy mushy mother's day one.
Don't get me wrong, I believe and stand behind every last word I plagiarized.

I thought I better let you into the real mother's day in the Sassy household. While I was cleaning up the lovely breakfast that was made for me (I know! I'm a lucky gal!), my boys were busy. Mason was playing at my feet and Mr. Sass was playing with the magnetic letters on the dishwasher. One would think he was writing something nice to me, since you know, it wasn't like he said it in any Hallmark card or anything.
This is what he left for me:

What can I say? I'm a lucky girl.

Before I was a mom...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,

I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and soon to be mothers!!
(yes - I stole this from an email I got)

Don't Just Wax it...Vajazzle It!!

Do I live under a rock?
How come I've never heard of this?!

Move over Bedazzlers! Here come the Vajazzlers!!
Vajazzle? you ask.
Well...think Bedazzling on your va-jj.
Wax it.
Decorate it.

So I guess the idea is to wax it and then get these crystals put on. I really and truly hope they use some kind of adhesive and not this old school bedazzler gun! I think you run the chance of your crotch resembling a disco ball, but it could be classy and quite the surprise if someone were to venture down there....

Do you think we could bedazzle a set of balls too? Perhaps no straight guy would want that...but if they did, what would it be called? Balldazzling? Nutdazzling? Scrotedazzling? Talk about looking like a dico ball....

What will think of next? More importantly...where can I get this done?

Now that's an anal probe

Now I've heard it all.

I know orgasms can be explosive. Earth shattering even...
I think most people would agree there is a time and place for that kind of enjoyment.
Then I hear this story:

APRIL 19--A California Highway Patrol office was briefly evacuated earlier this month when investigators became concerned that an arrestee might have been carrying a concealed explosive device. When officers collared Steven Ferrini on a drug charge, a search of the 60-year-old suspect turned up "a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch" in his pants pocket. "The wire was found to extend from the pant pocket to the subject's anus," according to a CHP report. Though Ferrini claimed that the wire was connected to an anal vibrator, officers became suspicious when he subsequently "began to explain his knowledge of explosives and bomb making." So they called in El Dorado County's "explosive ordinance disposal" team and, at 5:45 AM, evacuated "all unnecessary personnel" from the CHP's South Lake Tahoe office. At about 9 AM, the bomb squad "rendered the device safe" and determined it was not dangerous. The report does not indicate why more than three hours passed before the vibrator was found not to be an explosive device. "The vibrator was subsequently removed and placed into property,"

I love that:
a) He's 60.
b) He had a wire rigged up to his anal vibrator.

Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Well done there chap. You can't go out for a couple hours without sticking a vibrator up your ass? I pity the fool that had to pull that sucker out.
I guess corn for dinner is out tonight.

It's not what it sounds like...

I don't think people are going to understand. When Mason says "suck it" he's not being rude. He s actually referring to when I told him to suck his freeze not bite it. Apparently it's a fun thing to say. He's been saying it all day.
When the lady at the grocery store said hello to him, he said "suck it."
When daddy told him it was time for a nap, he said "suck it."
I think we need to forget this phrase and go back to be being precious and sweet, and not have people think we are hood rats teaching our kid this.
Oh Mason.

Mason is so sick.
I'm not going into any gory details but it's breaking my heart. I can't make him better. I can't take it away. I wish I could. I wish it would just go away.
Stupid bug. You've done your damage...now just go fuck off please.

Here's a picture of Mason. It's his smile that he gives when you say "smile!"...too cute. At least he doesn't squint up his eyes and throw his head back like most kids. At least not yet. This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it. Love it.

Feel better my sweet boy.

Mommy loves you :)

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Whatever happened to the good ol' days. You know, when kids got paper routes. They would either pull along a wagon filled with the papers, or have them stuffed in an over-sized shoulder bag? You might spot them trudging along under the weight from house to house, or speeding down the street on their bikes tossing them hap-hazzardly onto front porches.
A job, some fresh air and excersise.
I didn't really notice how much things had changed until I spotted our "paper boy" delivering one of the local papers (and the one with all the flyers in it - so the only one that makes it to our table!). This chubby fella was sitting shot gun in his dad's minivan tossing the papers on the ends of the driveways. Not to the door. Not even half way up. Daddio just slows right down and he tosses them out the window while slurping on his slushi. I can't even argue that his arm is getting a workout. I'm sure his dad has spent more on the gas it took to make the route then this kid will ever earn.
What happened to "get a job" and actually doing it yourself? Get out and actually walk the route to deliver the papers. Save the planet. Reduce the emissions for crying out loud!
Why am I so appalled at this?
I'm wondering if it's so out of the ordinary or just something unique to this neighbourhood?
Do me a favour. Watch for your paper "boy." Let me know what you see.
Restore my faith!

Ironic.
I was composing a post about Timmies when I came across Mackey's post "I heart Timmies."


Well...here's my open letter to Timmies (well heck, all the cool kids are doing it!).


Dear Timmies,
I love you. I really do. I am a faithful patron of your coffee house despite not drinking coffee. I'm a tea girl. Don't judge. I spend my hard earned money in your establishments. During this time of year, when you have Roll up the Rim, I probably increase my visits at least 300%. That's a lot of coin. I'm addicted to rolling up the rim. I am.
Well, I've had it.
Could you toss me a fucking bone please? Something. Anything. For the amount of rim I'm rolled I should have a few more wins then 1 coffee and a lousy donut. I don't want the donuts. My ass tries to tell me otherwise, but I have will power. I'd like the money, the car, heck I'll take the Timmies card to help cover the cost of this addiction. Something. Why do you give my brother in law the $100 gift card when he hardly ever goes. Such irony. Son of a bitch.
Now that you hear my complaints, maybe you could do something about it. I feel like I am your bitch. All I am good for is a good ol' roll up the rim job.
Gee thanks.
Love,
Sassy
P.S. It's my birthday today. Something would be nice. Peace.

I went for tea...and saw a tit

Most Sundays, the Sass family goes to a local coffee shop for tea/coffee and a bagel or some other breakfast-type time (sometimes Mason asks for a "fuffin"). It's in the old downtown part of our small town. It's a very long and narrow establishment. Chairs, couches, etc. Think Central Perk from Friends but mush it to be about 10 feet wide and like 200 feet long...paint it in dark purples, blues and yellows and we have our favourite place to go for the java.
This morning was no exception.
It was about 9:30 when we arrived. We ordered our tea and bagels and headed to the back corner. "Our table."
When we went up a short flight of stairs we noticed a couple sitting in the corner on the couches.
No big deal right?
Well...they were making out and her tits were right there on display for everyone to see! I guess she didn't notice us right away because she was too preoccupied with trying to rub one out through her boyfriend's pants.
Eventually they realized we were passing by and started talking really loud. Hmmm..not to obvious there you silly crack whore.
I sent Mr. Sass for a napkin and once he passed them, he looked back and they were at it again because I had my back to them.
Get a room.
Get a backseat of a car.
Get a life.

Who does that at 9:30am in a coffee shop? Or am I getting to be a prude in my old age?

This and that...

I guess it's back into the swing of things at work. Meh. Nothing like dragging your sorry ass out of bed and having to leave a toddler who is sleeping soundly (until 8:30 no less!) with my mom...only to get to work and remember that it's parent teacher interview week. This means a late night on Thursday that will be spent shoveling shit to parents.

On the plus we have been shopping for a car and might have finally found one we both agree on. Stay tuned!

Lastly, I finally got a Wii Fit and am totally excited. I've had my friend's Wii/Wii Fit for months and had to give it back. Now I have my own and was ready to rock it!
Problem.
My darling son was using the remote as a "phone." I saw it sitting on the kitchen table at one point, but where it is now is beyond me.
No Wii Fit tonight.
I need to get a new remote.
If anyone is looking for something to get me, my birthday is next week ;)

Gotta trust a gut feeling...

Sometimes I just get a gut feeling.
And then something happens that kind of confirms my gut feeling.
That something is up.
Something isn't right.
Someone is hurting.
I don't know for sure, but I'm going to trust my gut.

The thing is...I can't do much about it, if it's true.
I can't do much except let this person know I am thinking of them.
That I'm here.
I may not physically be there. But I'm there.
I'm there is spirit.
I'm only a phone call away.
And my boobies are always available for hugs. Always.

I'm rolling in with the tumbleweeds...

Yup. Time flies when you're having fun.
Or not having fun. Whatever the case may be. It's been a little of both around here. Where does time go?
I had so many to things to say during the Olympics..and never tore myself away from them long enough to share them. Now it almost seems pointless to go into it. Instead I'll do a few points of things still floating around re: the Olympics.
- Brilliant games. The best ever! I found myself glued to the tv and watching and learning about sports that I haven't ever cared about before. Take curling for instance! I got hooked. Call me what you want, but I thought it was neat!
- SO proud to be CANADIAN!! I saw our Nation's pride rise and we celebrated and we cheered and we were one. This is not something Canadians as a whole do very well. I am so proud of our athletes and was moved to tears a few times hearing our national anthem.
- Speaking of which - did you like hearing our National anthem so often?! Record breaking!
- Heart breaking for American Hockey fans..HA! Man was I on edge that whole game. Mason learned the phrase "Oh crap!" as a result, but it could have been a lot worse if I said what was really in my head when USA tied it up! I was actually sick to my stomach at times! Amazing.
- I'm saying this now: since one of my friends in now expecting a baby girl and will most likely use my #1 girls name (if I should be lucky enough to ever use it!), I've decided that perhaps I will name her Maelle instead after the snowboarder. I love her name. It's so pretty!

- Ummm....lastly: WE HAVE SOME FUCKING HOT ATHLETES! Sure most of them are way young, but damn! HOT!! There was more then once when I turnded to Mr. Sass and said, "I think I have feelings for him..."

That's enough about the Olmpics!
NO WAIT. One more thing!
- Want to hear Mr. Sass go on the best rant ever?! Talk to him about the brother-sister teams in the figure skating/ice dancing! Pretty weird to be grabbing your sister's crotch while thrusting her in the air...or having her wrap her legs around your waist and stare in each other's eyes...I would get him going each time. It's a little weird I guess. I'm not a skater, so I really could care less.

Enough :)

Work is good.
Weather is getting better.
It's Roll up the Rim time at Timmies and as usual, I barely win anything despite seeing a 300% increase in my visits. My brother in law won a $100 gift card though, on a free coffee no less! I guess they are saving the car for me?
Mason is great. Smart. Really smart. He amazes me with the things he can do. Please scroll down if you don't want to hear me gush about my boy!
He talks non-stop. He can count to 30 and to 10 in French. He says his ABC's and can recognize the letters (except a few he mixes up sometimes) and can tell you a word for each one (D-daddy, N-nana). He's a ham. He has such a wicked sense of humour that I've almost thrown up a few times from him making me laugh. He also has a weird sense of humour. He currently likes to give people "2 volts" where he sticks two fingers in your side, leg, wherever and says "ZZZT!". Warped, but so funny.
I'll have to post some recent pics of him soon..they are still on my camera.
But now I have to go because my beautiful son is calling for "Martin, where are you?!" (That would be Mr. Sass)..and "Mommy Lisa where are you please?!"

Now out to enjoy some awesome weather. Will post soon (famous last words - but I mean it!)

Out of the mouths of children

Brace yourself. This one is a good one.

My grade ones have been singing a song. It's stuck in their head. The other day there were waiting for me while I was talking to another teacher and they were lining up at the door to go in. They started singing. The other teachers remarked at how good they were. They were not only lined up nicely, but look how cute they were singing a song all together while they waited!

I laughed. "Listen to WHAT they are singing. Listen closely my friends."

A choir of 6 year olds were singing:

I get money,
I get paper,
I get girls all different flavors,
I get coochie, I get booty
I spend dolla after dolla

Yup. They were singing about coochie and booty and girls in different flavours. I had no idea about this song or who started singing it, but it was quite hilarious to hear them sing it all the time. I decided to put the kibash on it since I didn't want them going home singing those lyrics. It was so stuck that several of them were humming it while they worked. I asked around to see if anyone knew the song and if there were singing it right....it was stuck in my head too.

I just Googled it. It's not "I get coochie, I get bootie" It's I buy Gucci, I buy Prada!! What a mistake they made! I've been laughing me arse off here for a little while! I guess there will be a lesson tomorrow on the real lyrics and I guess I'll go back to allowing them sing that part over and over...

Brilliant work my darlings. This is why I love you so.

Here's a link to the song: HERE.
Tell me they didn't rip of the beat from that 90's song "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega; Check it HERE (I wouldn't have relized it if it wasn't for my addiction to XM Radio and the 90s channel!)

What's more beautiful then a Lily?

After potentially grossing people out with a description of my latest visit to be waxed...I thought I'd share some more interesting (and less gross) news:

I'm an Aunt again!!

My newest niece was born to my brother and sister in law yesterday after only a couple hours of labour (BITCH). She is the beautiful and amazing Lily Elizabeth!
We've been so worried for them and anyone who knows me, knows the "story" but we are so blessed to have her here and that she's healthy and beautiful. Thank you for my niece T and L!!

Here's a picture of the proud aunt (and her forehead...what was I thinking?!) and Lily:

It's not the greatest picture...but you know more will come!!

The other day I went to get my eyebrows waxed.
The lady waxing them was not my usual lady. She seemed nice enough. Until she got close in to apply the wax and do what these sadists normally do. SHE HAD THE WORST BREATH I have ever smelled. I think her teeth were rotting right out of her head, or she ate a pile of cat shit for lunch.
It was awful.
This is not some hole in the ground place I go to either, that perhaps hired some homeless, ex-prostitute to do the waxing. It's a "you pay way to much and why is it necessary to drink mimosas while you get waxed?" kinda place.
I was appalled.
I should of said something, but I ran out of there as fast as I could.

Maybe I should send in a tube of toothpaste or some mouthwash, or even a business card to a dentist. It was downright nasty.

Yup. An esthetician with severe halitosis gets me to blog again. Life has a funny way of working doesn't it?

Resolutions?

I'm so anti-resolutions, but this year I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Yup. Here I am!!

I've made a few promises of change (aka resolutions):
1. Loose weight. Yeah cliche..I know. Since August I've been working out, so I'm continuing with that and looking closer at my diet. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian..at least part time..more part time then already that is! I think posting a picture of me in a bathingsuit on the fridge should do the trick.
2. Get organized. Tackle the basement. Get rid of shit and hopefully make some plans to get that baby finished!
3. Start the process for another baby since the regular method doesn't work well for us. I still have hope and faith, but we need a back up plan! It's just a matter if I can take all the appointments with a toddler in tow, or if we'll foster/adopt? I've been praying a lot about this and hope to have some insight into what is meant to be.
4. Make sure my desk is clean before I leave work. It sounds silly but when 21 6 and 7 year olds are tossing shit on your desk all day it can be a disaster! It drives me insane!

So there I am. Check back with me and see how I'm doing will ya? I need to be accountable?

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas too, since I haven't been around too much!
We survived the holidays and had a blast in the mean time! It was nice to be off for 2 weeks as usual,but it was even nicer to have Mr. Sass home too. We did lots of things (minds out of the gutters people) and spent lots of time as a family.
Mason had a blast at Christmas - but it was mostly the visiting and the seeing lots of people that he gets a kick out of. His idea of opening presents was ripping a bow off! He opened a few gifts but mostly I opened them if they were from someone other then us. He still has about 6-8 of them here but I don't care when he opens them! It will probably be the last year where he doesn't tear into everything in like 20 minutes! He was quite happy with the few toys he opened. He wanted to play with them right away and I loved that. We played all morning!
I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my younger brother for buying Mason his first drum set. Brilliant! He didn't even have the decency to include some advil! All joking aside, we are having lots of fun with them!
New Years was quiet. We went out for dinner with my family early in the evening and then headed home. Mason went to bed and we watched a movie and had a drink. I actually went to bed around 11:30! Meh.
I hope everyone has a happy healthy new year! All the best for 2010. I'll try not to be so boring!