I was composing a post about Timmies when I came across Mackey's post "I heart Timmies."
Well...here's my open letter to Timmies (well heck, all the cool kids are doing it!).
Dear Timmies,
I love you. I really do. I am a faithful patron of your coffee house despite not drinking coffee. I'm a tea girl. Don't judge. I spend my hard earned money in your establishments. During this time of year, when you have Roll up the Rim, I probably increase my visits at least 300%. That's a lot of coin. I'm addicted to rolling up the rim. I am.
Well, I've had it.
Could you toss me a fucking bone please? Something. Anything. For the amount of rim I'm rolled I should have a few more wins then 1 coffee and a lousy donut. I don't want the donuts. My ass tries to tell me otherwise, but I have will power. I'd like the money, the car, heck I'll take the Timmies card to help cover the cost of this addiction. Something. Why do you give my brother in law the $100 gift card when he hardly ever goes. Such irony. Son of a bitch.
Now that you hear my complaints, maybe you could do something about it. I feel like I am your bitch. All I am good for is a good ol' roll up the rim job.
Gee thanks.
Love,
Sassy
P.S. It's my birthday today. Something would be nice. Peace.
5 comments:
lol. I've won more this year than any other previous year. 4 free coffees. Mind you, I've consumed mass quantities to win those 4 sad little drinks.
I'd like the car please.
Happy Birthday!
Hell. Missed this post yesterday.
But I didn't miss your bday! Hope you had a fun one! :-)
Happy birthday!
I can seriously say the rim job reference at the end was GOLDEN.
xoxo
Missed your birthday - hope it was fantabulous!
My office is across the parking lot of a Timmies. I too have spent mega coin, and so far got 2 coffees and a doughnut. Frick...
HAHA! Well, happy belated birthday first.
That's good stuff. I love that the gimick is "roll up the rim" that just sounds dirty!
Well, I hope that all your rim jobs pay off one of these days!
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