I'm going to be an aunt again.
Lovely news right?
Hmmm.
Not if you have infertility issues and everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant. It's not just anyone..it's people who you know aren't in the right frame of mind, relationship, financial situation, maturity level, etc, etc. Not too judgemental eh? I can't help the feelings I have. When a friend tells me she is expecting, I am genuinely happy. Thrilled. Yes, a part of me is sad because it's not me. Perhaps there is a certain amount of jealousy, but the overwhelming feeling is joy for my friends. This time? I'm not there yet.
Sister in law has been in this relationship less then 3 months. Suddenly she is engaged and pregnant..7 weeks. Do the math.
They don't have a place to live. They don't have stable jobs. They are immature. I could go on and you will leave this blog thinking how much of a bitch I am. I can't help it. I pray that this will help her grow up. I pray this is the relationship that will last. I pray for the health of this baby. I pray that I will find peace and be happy for her. I pray these feelings of sadness will leave me and I can come to celebrate this news like I celebrate the news of friends. When it comes down to it, I already love the baby. It's not his/her fault. I know I'll love him/her like I love my nieces. I know I will support her and be there for her.
I know I can be a better person and not have these horrible thoughts, but I'm not there yet.
It's just not fair.
What do I do?
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4 comments:
Oh Sweetie.....I feel I have no place to tell you what to do. Your feelings are your feelings & there is no right or wrong.
I am sure you have heard this more times than you can count but just go & hug that gorgeous boy of yours with the big thick lashes & the love of fans=)
You are blessed my love even if somedays you don't feel it.
Nog squishy boobie hugs with a Timmies tea on top <3
Nog? wtf ? I meant to type BIG! lol
What can you do other than feel the way you feel? There are lots of people in the world that just shouldn't breed and the ones that should sometimes can't or won't. I guess I'm with mackey, hug and kiss Mason and thank God he gave you an angel.
I am going through the same thing right now...I can comiserate...and it stinks and it's not fair...all I can do is try to change things so I'm pregnant...and not worry about others...easier said than done...but I'm trying...keep your head up!
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