It's not a downer..I promise!

So we're suppose to get lots of snow this evening. I have to confess: I like the snow. Let me clarify. I like it when it snows and everything is all white and pretty. I like it from inside the house. I like it when I don't have to shovel it or freeze my ass off in it. I like the anticipation of the snow coming. I LOVE the fact that we just got a snowblower, so A) I'm not shovelling any large amounts of snow anymore and B) Mr. Sass will have an easier time. We do live in the snowbelt, so it will come in handy!

Yesterday, a bunch of my CLOSEST girls, our husbands, and kids (those of us who have them that is!) went to "Crunchy" Christmas....it's actually Christmas in the Country...but it's a long story. Jules brought out the antlers for the ladies. The boys had their own Christmas balls i guess, but they were tucked away ;)

It was really beautiful. The lights, the sounds of carols, the smell of fire and apple cider cooking in a big pot over the fire...mmmm. We went for a nice hay ride too. Next year I can only imagine that we'll be chasing the little ones all around and it will be that much more fun!

Me and my girls. The ones that are here for me no matter what. The ones who pull me out of my funk. The ones that I laugh with, the ones I cry with. My sisters :) (**see the one in the blue coat (beside the giant marshmallow)...she's making us aunties again!! **)


My boys: My life. You can actually see Mason's top teeth in this picture.

So yeah.
I can't help but feel like you are avoiding me.
That's okay. I tried. I don't know what I did, or if it's just that my "life" is so different then yours now, that you don't feel we connect anymore. Who knows.
Doesn't stop me from feeling bummed about it.

Buzz buzz went the little fuzzy bee

I had another "feed the bees" moment the other day. I was walking around the kitchen floor and my one foot kept feeling sticky spots. I was miffed because I had just scrubbed the damn thing the day before. However, when you see the mess my son makes, you can understand why it's not such a long shot that my floor is sticky. Again. Any mom would know. So when Mason is napping, I pull out the scrub brush and go at it again (oo-er). He gets up and I start to feed him lunch. I am STILL feeling sticky parts. I wanted to blame the little monkey, but it's not his fault. I pull out scrub brush and get on my hands and knees and spot scrub the spots that feel sticky. I sit down with Mason and cross my legs and see it.

I have a hole in my sock.

Nothing like spending all that time and energy washing your floors repeatedly when all you need is a new pair of socks.

Go feed the bees Sassy.

Thank you Mackey for checking up on me. I'm here. I've been reading blogs, but I just don't have the heart to blog for myself this week. Things have been kind of shitty. I don't always want to be a downer, so I've avoided blogging. Besides, I have nothing really to blog about, besides the lovely snow that keeps coming. Exciting eh?

I'll try. I promise.
Right now all I want to do is be alone. Sorry.

Bees and cookies....

I consider myself an intelligent person. However, sometimes I say something sooo stupid you have to wonder. It's usually these times that whatever it was that I said will be thrown back at me for a long time to come. For example, a couple of weeks ago we were on our way to a friend's house. Driving through the country, I was looking at all the houses, and farms and admiring the scenery. I saw a farm who clearly raised/farmed (?!) bees. Having the insane fear of bees in me, I shuddered and said, "I like honey and all, but I just don't get why anyone would want to have bees." The husband takes this opportunity to tell me he'd have a bee farm. (side note: I swear he only says this shit because I wouldn't want it. Anything I hate, he loves, anything I don't want, he wants...etc). Deciding to take a jab at his serious problem of not being able to get out of bed in the morning for work, I say "Oh really? YOU want to be a farmer now? A bee farmer? Remember how you don't do mornings? How do you expect to be a farmer? You wouldn't even get out of bed to feed the bees!"

Yup: Feed the bees.

He says, "you didn't just say I'd have to feed the bees did you?" It took me a moment (okay a couple of moments) to realize what I had said. Now whenever I do or say something silly/stupid he tells me "Go feed the bees!" Frig. What can I say? Sometimes the porch light is on, but no one is home.

On a side note, I'm participating in a virtual cookie exchange over at Another Suburbans Mom's place! No...not that kind of cookie! Real cookies you can eat (nooo still not that kind of cookie!) and have to bake. I'm looking forward to trying some new recipes for Christmas, and having other people get fatter asses and it not just be me. Check her out for more details!!

So Mason had his first trip to the ER yesterday. *sigh*
Nothing major, but the friggen walk-in clinic doesn't open until Thursday in this one horse town and instead of driving to my family doctor 30 min away, I thought the ER might be quicker. To make a very long story short, my little guy managed to scratch his cornea with his nail. I trim them short, but apparently one got away on me. Poor little guy was so off yesterday and obviously in pain. He wouldn't really open his eyes unless he was distracted with toys and then it was continually running. He was a trooper at the hospital while they put dye in his eye and checked him out. He was wiped after though. I was wiped too to be honest.
Then to top everything off, we had to go meet with the lady who will most likely be babysitting him when I go back to work (3.5 weeks folks!). It was a good visit, and he was mostly his usual self, but the poor gaffer was so tired.

There will be no swearing barrage today.

Spilling tea causes swearing..a lot of it.

So today I spilled my tea. It was in the cup holder of the stroller. I had just put Mason in the carseat and went to fold the stroller up. I forgot it was there and flipped it over, spilling tea all over the stroller and my pants.
BRILLIANT. The best part? I got in the car and cried. Yeah, I cried over spilled tea. Sure, it was a good tea, but it's just tea. It wasn't the tea I was upset about. I just can't explain it. I feel so helpless. Argh, I hate feeling like this.

Maybe a good barrage of swear words would make me feel better. Plug your eyes if you are offended. You've been warned:

FUCK SHIT DAMN HELL FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK CUNT BITCH SHIT ASS WHORE MOTHER FUCKER FUCKING CUNT SCAB ASSHOLE DIPSHIT CUM-DUMPSTER SLUT DOUCHE BAG DAMN FUCKING RAGING SHITFIRE COCK SUCKING DITCHPIG PUSSY FART HEAD SMELLY ASSHOLE PUSSY FUCKWAD ASSHAT DIPSHIT MOTHERFUCKERING ASSFUCKING TITTIE FUCKFACE TWAT BALLS.

*sigh* Okay, I giggled a lot writting that. Who says swearing isn't theraputic??

I do have things to post for once, but I'm not in the mood. I've been kind of down lately. In a funk and I can't shake it. I feel disconnected. Sad. Shitty. Meh. I can't really describe it. Time is flying by so fast and I can't find the pause button.
I have to back to work soon and I'm having a lot of anxiety over it. Just thinking of it makes me sick and tears well up. I hate it.
I hate myself right now too. I'm not happy. I don't like what I see. I'm not normally the "debbie downer" but for now, I am. I feel like my life is out of control and I can't fix it.

Sorry to be such a bummer. I'll be back. The real me that is...just don't know when. I guess I just wanted to vent..or put it on "paper"..to see if I feel better.
Notsomuch.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I'm wierd.

And deranged, and a few bricks short of a load at times.
Sarah gave me the award:
Now just to prove that I'm weird I have to post 7 more odd things about me. I've done this a few times now, so I guess it's just proving there are a lot of oddities about me...

1. My "baby" toes are very small and practically have no nail on them. There is hardly anything to paint.
2. I'll only really eat bananas if they are crunchy.
3. I've eaten frogs, snails, sheep brains, and horse. I'm sure I've eaten some other funky stuff, but I can't think of it now...
4. My underwear MUST have their own drawer. It's sacrilegious to make them share with socks.
5. I'm very ritualistic in the order that I shower in (ie: how I wash, get ready, etc)...if I fuck it up some way, it throws me completely off. I feel off all day.
6. I always have some silly kids song stuck in my head and will burst out singing it....it's even worse now that I actually have a child of my own!
7. When I need to "use the ladies room" (take a piss if you will), I'll most likely run upstairs and not use the one down here. We have 3 bathrooms in the house, and yet I use only one of them, unless it's an emergency.

So there you go...

Happy Halloween!

Mason's first Halloween!

We hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween!

...and happy birthday to my big brother! He's old.

A new perspective HNT

I don't really have a nice picture of me in my new glasses. Mr. Sass and I snapped this one before we went to a party last weekend, but then I forgot my camera so there are no more. Not really the whole seductive, naughty teacher look at all. I'll have to work on it. Hmmm...step one may be to loose the turtleneck! It was damn cold okay? Back off!

Maybe next week I'll have a more sultry picture of me in them..or at least one where I don't look like a drowned rat. Oh and I have new sunglasses too :)

If you can't see them: You can find them here.
My sunglasses are here. But you'll have to stay tuned for a picture of those ones =P

Don't judge..my hair is soaking wet still...argh. You people are lucky I love you...cuz I hate this picture!

Update...

Sorry folks no glasses picture yet. You have to wait for HNT =P

I thought I'd share with you an update of my friend's baby girl Mea. She's home and doing well. The stents and the medication she is on is allowing her to get bigger and stronger! We'll see how much time this buys her, but the important thing is she's doing well and is precious.
Thanks for the positive thoughts and prayers for her!

A few pics:

Mea with her big brothers

In the hospital

Ready for Halloween!

I've been laying a little low these days...things have been busy around here! My father in law just got his second hip replacement surgery.

I had an eye appointment awhile back and got in shit for wearing my contacts so often and for so long. My eyes have been really irritated lately too. End result is that I have to wear my glasses for at least 2 weeks and then take it easy with the contacts. Anyone who knows me, knows that I loathe wearing glasses. I feel like such a dork. I can't get used to them at all. I hate sunglasses too (except to hold back my hair of course). I needed a new prescription, so my loving and dear husband went with me. I don't wish glasses shopping with me on my worst enemy. It's a long and horrific process where I am indecisive and whiny. We got the job done, and I can say I'm actually happy. I think I'll actually wear my new glasses with pleasure. I don't think I look like a complete dork (side note..I love glasses on other people, just not me!) and the bonus was that they were having a 2 for 1 sale so I got sunglasses too. Yipee. If I get the courage, I'll actually post a picture. However, if someone says I look dorky I'll probably crumble and never leave the house again. HA! I was going more for the naughty librarian/sexy teacher look....

Big news too!! Mason has officially graduated from the "backwards only" crawling club! He's in full throttle forward motion now! Watch out baby!!

So that's where I am now.

I'm no fucking rat

I'm like a slacking slacker on slacker pills these days!

Thanks to everyone who commented on the Blog Action day post on Poverty. Education is just the start. I really do hope it's inspired something within each person to do something. Even the small things matter. In addition to doing good, I really do believe in good Karma...and what goes around comes around.

It did remind me of a story about a homeless guy though.
When we were growing up, my family would often go spend the day in Toronto. My mom and aunt always made a point of helping someone homeless out, either with change or food, or something. One time she let my brother, an exchange student who was living with us, and myself get strips of our hair dyed in funky colours by some street youth. It was awesome. Anyways, often when we would stop for dinner, they would order an extra meal to go and then throw in a couple bucks and give it to some homeless person we passed. We were also known to bring a few extra sandwiches with us to give away.

Advance a few (a lot) years and you have my current group of close girlfriends. We were going to the city to watch the Santa Clause parade. I had told them what we use to do and we decided we'd bring along some sandwiches. We all made a few. My friend Jules, being a vegetarian made some sexy cheese sandwiches (we're not talking Kraft singles here). After the parade, we were walking around and we saw a homeless man with his shopping cart hanging around in the park. We urged her to go talk to him. To say hello and see if he was hungry. She ventures over, a little uneasy. **As a side note, we've always had positive experiences with homeless people. You can tell the ones who want help and the ones who prefer to be left alone. ** Anyways, she talks to the guy and offers the sandwich up. He says "what kind is it?" Jules is proud of her cheese sandwich, since as she put it "It's what I'd want!" The dude looks at her and says "I'm no fucking rat. Why would I want a cheese sandwich?" and with that poor Jules walks back to us. Hahahaha. First time trying to help someone in this manner and she gets cussed out.
Brilliant.
At least she tried.

Blog Action Day 2008

Today thousands in the blog community around the world unite to discuss one topic: Poverty in hopes to raise awareness. More HERE

Back in high school I got an "in your face" lesson of poverty that forever changed how I looked at poverty and so called "poor" people. Naive, I thought poverty was simply defined as those who did not have the necessities of life. That poverty was strictly confined to those "bums" I saw on the street, or of the sad commercials of third world countries with children dying of hunger. The images of their sunken eyes and bloated bellies pulling at the heart strings of thousands, more fortunate then they, to pick up the phone and help. I didn't realize that another face of poverty was closer to home.

Her name was Martha.
She and I had become good friends. Our friendship really only consisted of hanging out at school and taking walks and talking. We occasionally went to the mall, but it wasn't her favourite thing to do. We would sit and discuss books and life. We'd spent hours talking. She was smart. Really intelligent. She made me think of things I had never thought of before. She was always at school before me, waiting. It wasn't until some time later that through a series of events, I found out her situation. I was friends with her brother. In fact it was through him that I met her. He loved his sister and it was obvious. I would see him bring her things, but didn't think anything of it, beyond, "my brothers would never think to do that for me." To make a long and very sad story short, Martha was homeless. Her parents had split years before and the brother stayed with the father. He didn't "want" his daughter and so she was forced to stay with the mother, who suffered from serious mental illnesses. She spent a lot of time in shelters, low income housing and even living in a car for a short time. Her mother was very unstable and she never knew where they would end up or when she would eat again. Shortly after, her mother was institutionalized (and then shortly after passed away) and she was left on her own. Her brother came to me, pouring out his heart, scared for his sister: "What can you do to help?"

What can you do to help?

Have you asked yourself that lately? Do you turn a blind eye at the homeless man on the street? Do you walk past the empty Food Bank barrels thinking "next time?". Do you turn the channel when those commercials for third world aide come on?

There are different faces to poverty. I think most people are most accustomed to the severe cases we see on tv. What about those who are working, but are still living below the poverty line? Those who have jobs and homes, but their cupboards are empty? As a teacher, it's scary to see just how many kids come to school hungry, and from homes who are living one pay check away from being on the streets. Because of Martha and her brother, I'm constantly asking myself "what can I do?"
Sure, it's only one person and what difference in the grand scheme of things can it make? A big difference. At least to the one person you help. Imagine if everyone would take a minute and ask themselves what they can do to help eradicate poverty. They say it can be done in our life time. Ask yourself now: what can you do?

What about Martha you ask? What happened to her?
My mother taught me what it means to answer that question "what can I do?" She reorganized the household and took her in. Never mind that she was a single mother with 3 kids. Our situation was not bad though. She had room in her home for one more. She gave Martha that home she deserved, even though it was only for a short time. She moved on to go live with a relative in another country. Sometimes people come into our life to teach us lessons. Lessons we'll never forget. Lessons that will plant the seeds for later action.

The quote "To the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world" drives me in my daily actions and decisions. Everyone can make a difference. How are you going to make a difference?

Gobble gobble...gobbily goop...and BOOBS

Thanksgiving weekend..come and gone. We were so busy visiting family and enjoying their company. For the most part everything went smoothly. Mason was a trooper with all of the travelling, people and noise. My brother in law managed to get a pretty serious burn on his foot when he spilled hot grease from the turkey on his foot. Ouch. Sadly, he and his SO left back to Alberta and won't be out for some time. Not even at Christmas. We're bummed at that. We had a little fun with taking some pictures of Mason in the leaves too.

I also managed to get some boobs and moobs shots for G-Man and Mackey who are donating cold hard cash to breast cancer research for every set they receive. Go check them out for the full details, or just snap away and send Moobs to Mackey at mac19694u2@hotmail.com and boobs to G-man at scott@zgionline.com.

The boy in the leaves:



Also, if anyone is interested, tomorrow is Blog Action day. The topic is poverty. You can get the low-down on it HERE. It's an awesome idea and hey..no one will have to suffer from bloggers block tomorrow!

Oh! And today is Federal Election day here in Canada! If you are Canadian and registered to vote....GO VOTE. Funny how we can run a federal election and have it be done with in about a month. How long has it been going on south of us?!?! Jesus.

Tagged

Tagged by Jennybean:

Although I did just do another 100 list...I think I can muster up 7 more things eh!

Sooo...if you already know this about me, deal with it and move on.

1. I'm afraid of ET and bees. A common known fact though.
2. I worry about vaginal elasticity. Seriously.
3. My elbows are double jointed and I can actually "knock" the bones together to make a clicking noise. It makes some people gag and others cheer.
4. I've never had silk pjs or silk sheets. I wonder what I'm missing....
5. When I stir a pot I have to stir clockwise. I just can't do it counter clockwise.
6. I won't go into the basement at night alone. I think it stems back to when I was a child and my older brother would hide behind the stairs as I came down (they had open backs obviously) and grab my legs as I came down. What an ass.
7. I'm a pear.

Toque? HNT answer :)

A toque?
Sage?!
Are you serious? I'm pretty sure I've been through this before....

A toque is the quintessential piece of clothing around these parts from anytime around now until like March. Jesus. You have to keep your head warm some way. I know us back bacon, beaver loving Canadians have funny names for things, so I guess you'll be forgiven. This time.

An HNT dedicated to you Sage, and my love of the toque.

..and mitts too.

Boy has my life changed...

On the weekend, we had the reception for my brother-in-law's recent wedding. He got married on a beach and this was the party for the family and friends. Family has flown in from across Canada to join in the fun. My in-laws had a house full of wild relatives and it's been non-stop since they've arrived.

Mason was home with my mom watching him for the night. Usually we party it up pretty hard. This time? Notsomuch.

It was only after the reception that I tool inventory of the evening and realized how my life has changed:

We left the party early and sober. We left with the grandparents for pete's sake! We drove them back to the house, where it was my job to help the grandmother take off her undercrackers.

Let's recap shall we? Left early. Sober. Stripped his grandmother of her knickers.

Jealous?

At least I get brownie points for being a good daughter in law right? I'm sure the nightmares will end soon enough....

Update..again!

The surgery is off for now. Instead they are going to put heart stents in which will buy her some more time to grow bigger and stronger. The doctors have decided that this, along with her medication will suffice until then. It was a last minute decision after some final tests. They do this procedure tomorrow. I'm not sure how long it will be after the procedure until they can finally take her home though. The thinking is that within 2-5 months depending on how she is doing, and how strong she is, they will do a complete repair at that time.

One step at a time....