So we hit the Sex Show on Sunday. Of course we all went to church first.
Jesus before fornication: always.
It was a really good time. Although, at one point after seeing a 50-something cougar dressed as Britney Spears in a kilt so low I could see her c-section scar, I thought I might never have sex again. However, it's me, so that feeling didn't last too long! We meandered around looking at (and touching) new things, perusing the porn and trying to persuade some skanky ass porn star to take a picture with us for free. If the money was going to charity, I would have happily obliged, however I think she wanted it for some labia reconstruction. This theory based purely on seeing some of her porn in the background of her booth. One word for her: USED.
We ventured into the 'dungeon' which was an adult toyland of whips, gags, paddles and some seriously frightening looking contraptions to be tied to. I was making a (quick) exit when we were approached to be 'shocked' by some little toy that resembled a cattle prodder. After the weekend game with Exile, I thought I might like this! NOPE! It was fine at first and then I'll admit I screamed out. Every part of me that he tried it on was okay except the back of my hand. It stung for over half an hour (maybe I'm being a baby about it). He can keep his toy.
I'd like to see him try it on his balls.
Leave it to Hella to know one of the vendors (and the devil himself!), and to score us some freebies. Interesting business he's running. Porn rental through the mail. It comes in a nice little package that look like Great Aunt Matilda is sending you an invite to tea. You rent, you watch and then you send it back in a tidy little envelope with prepaid postage. If that's your thing, it's brilliant.
On one last note, I saw the shirt that JJ had referenced on her blog: No Means Eat Me Out First. I am still eager to hold up my end of a 'dare' (or was it a 'double dog dare?') to buy it and wear it to work for a picture. Sadly, it only came in a small...and there is no way these puppies will fit in a small. I did however take their card....so stay tuned JJ!!
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14 comments:
cool, porn & netflix have finally come together
hehehe, come
btw, as for the shirt, what if you just cut the shirt so your boobs can have some room. save for your tater tots, the rest of you should fit in a small
JJ - I'm trying! I have the pic all planned out too...you'll love it!
Exile - Perfect idea. Oh and have I told you I love you? lol.
Sassy, I liked the "cattle prod" thingy...um......maybe I just admitted to a little too much here!
I think your flesh is too sensitive for that kind of thing babe! Although the idea of that guy using it on his balls....hysterical!!
Had a blast...can't wait to see what next year has in store!!
I wish I had thought of the mail porn rental service.
Sounds like you had a great time. You described some serious equipment. LOL at using it on his balls. Porn rentals through the mail - very good idea.
Great blog.
Crazee place, girl!
Hooray for porn! "Used."
You've been tagged!
You are my hero.
Steve~
Every year I say I'm going to make it to this thing and every year I miss it. Can I go with you and Hella next year? Huh? Huh? Can I? Huh???
sassy- you are the wind beneath my wings
Sheri- if only I could think of something like that...I'd get rich quick right?
aegeus - Thanks for stoppin by!
redneck - duuude, you have no idea!
randi - hip hip horray!
mackey - I'm on it!
Steve - will you bow down and lick my feet then?? I kid.
Shora - You must!! Please come next time!!
Exile - Suh-weet..but try some deoderant babe. hehe
Hey! Just wanted to give you the new addy! Thanks for linking me!
www.betarandi805.blogspot.com
My coworkers got underwear that say no rear entry on them.
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