Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
You can take the girl outta the trailer...
I met one of my parents (of a student) the other day. Sometimes when you finally meet a parent, the picture becomes a whole lot clearer.
Within 30 seconds of meeting her she asks me "have you ever had a Brazilian wax?" Before I could find a smart ass comment (like perhaps, "no but if you need me to recommend someone to wax you upper lip I'd be happy to do so") she spins into a tail of the first time she was waxed. I'll spare the details and the actions that went with it. She then tells me that she vowed never to do it again. Soo she decided to Nair her kitty. Only problem Is that it didn't grow back properly and now she was a toonie (that's a 2 dollar coin my American chums!) sized bald spot right in the middle.
Gets better.
She tells me that she now grows her pubies nice and long so she can do a comb- over.
Brilliant.
I've known this woman for less then 5 minutes and I have a mental image of her crotch I can't shake.
THIS is why I went to teachers college.
Within 30 seconds of meeting her she asks me "have you ever had a Brazilian wax?" Before I could find a smart ass comment (like perhaps, "no but if you need me to recommend someone to wax you upper lip I'd be happy to do so") she spins into a tail of the first time she was waxed. I'll spare the details and the actions that went with it. She then tells me that she vowed never to do it again. Soo she decided to Nair her kitty. Only problem Is that it didn't grow back properly and now she was a toonie (that's a 2 dollar coin my American chums!) sized bald spot right in the middle.
Gets better.
She tells me that she now grows her pubies nice and long so she can do a comb- over.
Brilliant.
I've known this woman for less then 5 minutes and I have a mental image of her crotch I can't shake.
THIS is why I went to teachers college.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
And so it starts!!
"I can do it Mommy, I'm a Kindergarten boy!"
Yes you are darling! Mason started junior kindergarten on Monday. We previously had a short meeting with his teacher but Monday was the first day he actually went to class. He was very excited. I was worried that he'd cry like he did when he started preschool.
Mason is coming to my school. There were several reasons for this decision. One, Mason is still only 3. He is not 4 until December, so that puts him as one of the youngest kids in the class. Some of his JK friends will be almost a full year older. In our neighbourhood, to send him to Catholic school, I'd have to put him on a bus across town and there is something about putting a 3 year old on a bus that wasn't sitting well with me. Also, his fabulous babysitter is down the street from my school, and I'd like him to stay with her. Now the honest top-of-the-list reasons? I know his teacher. I know she is fabulous and he's getting a fabulous kindergarten program and a great start to school. I can walk down and spy and peek in and have a little more control then if he was at a different school. He's still my baby. The plan is to put him in his home school for grade 1 so he doesn't have mommy and all her friends checking in on him and telling me everything he does..even the naughty bits. We both need space right?
The first day was pretty good. He came to my class before school and "helped" me get ready. At about 10 min to the bell we walked outside. He put his backpack in the line and played in the yard. Everything was great until the bell rang. When the kids lined up he put his backpack on and started in...but stopped when he realized that moms and dads were not going in! He slipped out of his backpack and tossed it at me and said something to the effect of "no mommy. I'm not going." We had a little discussion and he was handed off somewhat reluctantly to Mrs. Hruby. There were a few tears welling up in his eyes but he went in. I'm not going to pretend for one minute that I wasn't on the verge of crying. I had tears in my eyes. My baby was going to school. He wasn't sure about it. I had to get to my class so I trusted he was in good hands and turned around.
What did I see?
The best friends/co-workers a girl could ask for. Quite a few had come out to see Mason head off to school for the first time. All ready to give me a hug and tell me he was going to be fine :) Margherita had hugs and a "welcome to the club" comment..and handed me a tissue. All morning I was getting calls to tell me that they looked in and Mason was happy, playing, participating, etc. I was so thankful for their love. I didn't want to go down there in case it wasn't going well...that would have made it worse. As it was I tried to sneak a peek at recess and out came Diane with a thumbs up. Her and Mason are buddies. I got to peek in and see him eating snack. He looked like such a big boy! He even survived gym class and was the last person to get tagged in a game. He's a quick little bugger. His teacher gave me a lovely report of his day and he got a certificate for completing his first day. My mom and aunt came for a celebratory dinner that night. Today went even better! I know I made the right decision in sending him to my school...and as long as he's happy, mommy is happy!!
Here are a couple pictures:
Yes you are darling! Mason started junior kindergarten on Monday. We previously had a short meeting with his teacher but Monday was the first day he actually went to class. He was very excited. I was worried that he'd cry like he did when he started preschool.
Mason is coming to my school. There were several reasons for this decision. One, Mason is still only 3. He is not 4 until December, so that puts him as one of the youngest kids in the class. Some of his JK friends will be almost a full year older. In our neighbourhood, to send him to Catholic school, I'd have to put him on a bus across town and there is something about putting a 3 year old on a bus that wasn't sitting well with me. Also, his fabulous babysitter is down the street from my school, and I'd like him to stay with her. Now the honest top-of-the-list reasons? I know his teacher. I know she is fabulous and he's getting a fabulous kindergarten program and a great start to school. I can walk down and spy and peek in and have a little more control then if he was at a different school. He's still my baby. The plan is to put him in his home school for grade 1 so he doesn't have mommy and all her friends checking in on him and telling me everything he does..even the naughty bits. We both need space right?
The first day was pretty good. He came to my class before school and "helped" me get ready. At about 10 min to the bell we walked outside. He put his backpack in the line and played in the yard. Everything was great until the bell rang. When the kids lined up he put his backpack on and started in...but stopped when he realized that moms and dads were not going in! He slipped out of his backpack and tossed it at me and said something to the effect of "no mommy. I'm not going." We had a little discussion and he was handed off somewhat reluctantly to Mrs. Hruby. There were a few tears welling up in his eyes but he went in. I'm not going to pretend for one minute that I wasn't on the verge of crying. I had tears in my eyes. My baby was going to school. He wasn't sure about it. I had to get to my class so I trusted he was in good hands and turned around.
What did I see?
The best friends/co-workers a girl could ask for. Quite a few had come out to see Mason head off to school for the first time. All ready to give me a hug and tell me he was going to be fine :) Margherita had hugs and a "welcome to the club" comment..and handed me a tissue. All morning I was getting calls to tell me that they looked in and Mason was happy, playing, participating, etc. I was so thankful for their love. I didn't want to go down there in case it wasn't going well...that would have made it worse. As it was I tried to sneak a peek at recess and out came Diane with a thumbs up. Her and Mason are buddies. I got to peek in and see him eating snack. He looked like such a big boy! He even survived gym class and was the last person to get tagged in a game. He's a quick little bugger. His teacher gave me a lovely report of his day and he got a certificate for completing his first day. My mom and aunt came for a celebratory dinner that night. Today went even better! I know I made the right decision in sending him to my school...and as long as he's happy, mommy is happy!!
Here are a couple pictures:
Ready to get going!
Outside the house..with his backpack! So cute!
With his backpack (side note: apparently I need to tackle the grass...)
Realizing that he has to go in by himself..and having second thoughts (that's one of my co-workers/friend's daughter in the picture). What a little look on his face eh?!
I'm so proud of you Mason. I hope you have a great year, make lots of friends, learn a lot and have many happy memories of your first school year!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 Years Ago
Its one of those things that you'll never forget where you were or what you were doing. I was living with Kelley and Maria and we were in our 4th year of university. It was a day that Kelley and I were home and lounging around in our jammies. Maria had an early class. Kelley was waiting for a new mattress to be delivered. I was laying in bed reading when she slinked into bed with me (get your minds out of the gutter). We started talking and then her mom called. Hearing only half the conversation I knew it was serious. The TV went on. Kelley and I watching in horror. Tears. Disbelief. Horror.
The images are etched in my mind forever. Many images flash through my mind. I remember watching people jump from the building. It was that bad that they chose to jump.
Families broken forever.
The University was at a standstill. People gathered around the tvs. Staring. Hugging. More tears.
10 years later I can imagine the pain is still fresh for those directly impacted.
It's still hard to understand, to wrap my mind around it.
10 years.
Never Forgotten.
I pray for peace.
The images are etched in my mind forever. Many images flash through my mind. I remember watching people jump from the building. It was that bad that they chose to jump.
Families broken forever.
The University was at a standstill. People gathered around the tvs. Staring. Hugging. More tears.
10 years later I can imagine the pain is still fresh for those directly impacted.
It's still hard to understand, to wrap my mind around it.
10 years.
Never Forgotten.
I pray for peace.
Thursday, September 08, 2011
23
23. Ever wonder about a number?
* At the moment of his assassination, Caesar was stabbed 23 times.
* The circulation of the blood through all the human body takes 23 seconds.
* The average human physical biorhythm is 23 days.
* The ovule and the sperm are both composed of 23 chromosomes.
* Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23.
* The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.
* The terrorist attacks on America on 11 of September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23.
* Kurt Cobain, the god of grunge, was born in 1967 and died in 1994 - 1+9+6+7= 23, 1+9+9+4 = 23.
* W is the 23rd letter in the alphabet. It has 2 points down and three points up and is located on your keyboard below the 2 and 3.
* Dr Pepper now boasts being an "authentic blend of 23 flavors"
* Michael Jordan's jersey number: 23.
* One of the most famous Psalms in the Bible: Psalm 23: The Lord is my Shepherd.
23.
That's how many years ago I lost my father.
23 years missing him.
23 years without having him here with us.
23 years not hearing his voice.
23 years not being able to hug and kiss him.
23 years of memories that don't include him.
23 years cherishing the time I did have.
23 years of savouring the memories I have.
23.
It still hurts.
I love you dad. Always. Forever.
* At the moment of his assassination, Caesar was stabbed 23 times.
* The circulation of the blood through all the human body takes 23 seconds.
* The average human physical biorhythm is 23 days.
* The ovule and the sperm are both composed of 23 chromosomes.
* Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23.
* The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.
* The terrorist attacks on America on 11 of September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23.
* Kurt Cobain, the god of grunge, was born in 1967 and died in 1994 - 1+9+6+7= 23, 1+9+9+4 = 23.
* W is the 23rd letter in the alphabet. It has 2 points down and three points up and is located on your keyboard below the 2 and 3.
* Dr Pepper now boasts being an "authentic blend of 23 flavors"
* Michael Jordan's jersey number: 23.
* One of the most famous Psalms in the Bible: Psalm 23: The Lord is my Shepherd.
23.
That's how many years ago I lost my father.
23 years missing him.
23 years without having him here with us.
23 years not hearing his voice.
23 years not being able to hug and kiss him.
23 years of memories that don't include him.
23 years cherishing the time I did have.
23 years of savouring the memories I have.
23.
It still hurts.
I love you dad. Always. Forever.
Monday, September 05, 2011
Okay..I can't just end on such a negative note. I'm still irritated, but a warm cup of tea and looking at some pics made me feel much better.
Want to see what I was looking at?
And this:
How do you not smile looking at this? It was from a Saturday trip via train to a Farmer's Market.
I just love these two sooo much. I thank God everyday for the friendships I have. What is even more amazing is that these two are such good buddies already. I couldn't have asked for a better friend for my son...and it doesn't hurt that her momma is one of my best friends in the whole world! These two just keep us laughing. I also love that everywhere we go, they think they are twins and we are same sex mommies.
I'm going to bed..with a smile on my face.
(P.S. K - I hope it's okay that I posted these!)
Want to see what I was looking at?
And this:
And this:
How do you not smile looking at this? It was from a Saturday trip via train to a Farmer's Market.
I just love these two sooo much. I thank God everyday for the friendships I have. What is even more amazing is that these two are such good buddies already. I couldn't have asked for a better friend for my son...and it doesn't hurt that her momma is one of my best friends in the whole world! These two just keep us laughing. I also love that everywhere we go, they think they are twins and we are same sex mommies.
I'm going to bed..with a smile on my face.
(P.S. K - I hope it's okay that I posted these!)
Sometimes you just need to rant and get a few things off your chest.
Today is one of them.
I'm just annoyed. Perhaps it's because I'm tired. Perhaps it's just nerves or anxiousness about tomorrow. I don't know. It is what it is.
Let the rambling begin...
I have not once said anything negative about the floor still being unfinished. I do not pester or nag. It is not me. I know you work a full time job and I have kept us pretty busy throughout the summer weekends. Does it bother me? Yes. It's hard to live in a house that has no "put together" room on the main floor. A house where nothing seems to be in it's place. I cope. I have 100% faith in your ability and I know it will get done. YOU said last night to friends that you planned to finish it today. This was (pleasant) news to me, but I said nothing. Yet today when I asked if I could turn the air conditioning off (it's bloody cool here today!) to open some windows you said you wanted to finish the floor first. The humidity that we've had was not good for the sitting wood therefore it has been on constantly. I said that was fine. No big deal. Plenty of time coming to have windows open. What met me was a grumpy being who was bitter about having to work on his day off. Throwing wood around. Grumbling. Complaining. I make a nice brunch and you say you have no time to eat because you have work to do. Bite me. I didn't ask you to.
Let me tell you this: I'm done keeping my mouth shut.
You treat me like shit when you are doing things around the house. What you have never noticed? You nit pick and mutter all day long. Taking jabs at me. Worse, you take jabs at me through conversation with our son. How bad do you want me to feel? I hate it. I feel horrible. You make me feel an inch tall. That's not the way a husband is suppose to make a wife feel.
You act just like Rocco. You don't like the way he makes you feel at work. You come home irritated and upset. I listen to you rant and rave. I am your support. I support you and try to help. I don't want you to feel this way. It hurts you. It stresses you out. It makes you mad. You have suffered physical ramifications because of the stress it causes you. Yet you turn around and treat me the same way.
How is that fair?
Do you not see what you are doing?
What about the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?"
I just wish I had the courage to say something to you. To make you see what you are doing to me. I'm sorry I don't. I just sit and take it.
And this? The tip of the iceberg.
I wonder if I'll have the courage to press "Publish"...
Today is one of them.
I'm just annoyed. Perhaps it's because I'm tired. Perhaps it's just nerves or anxiousness about tomorrow. I don't know. It is what it is.
Let the rambling begin...
I have not once said anything negative about the floor still being unfinished. I do not pester or nag. It is not me. I know you work a full time job and I have kept us pretty busy throughout the summer weekends. Does it bother me? Yes. It's hard to live in a house that has no "put together" room on the main floor. A house where nothing seems to be in it's place. I cope. I have 100% faith in your ability and I know it will get done. YOU said last night to friends that you planned to finish it today. This was (pleasant) news to me, but I said nothing. Yet today when I asked if I could turn the air conditioning off (it's bloody cool here today!) to open some windows you said you wanted to finish the floor first. The humidity that we've had was not good for the sitting wood therefore it has been on constantly. I said that was fine. No big deal. Plenty of time coming to have windows open. What met me was a grumpy being who was bitter about having to work on his day off. Throwing wood around. Grumbling. Complaining. I make a nice brunch and you say you have no time to eat because you have work to do. Bite me. I didn't ask you to.
Let me tell you this: I'm done keeping my mouth shut.
You treat me like shit when you are doing things around the house. What you have never noticed? You nit pick and mutter all day long. Taking jabs at me. Worse, you take jabs at me through conversation with our son. How bad do you want me to feel? I hate it. I feel horrible. You make me feel an inch tall. That's not the way a husband is suppose to make a wife feel.
You act just like Rocco. You don't like the way he makes you feel at work. You come home irritated and upset. I listen to you rant and rave. I am your support. I support you and try to help. I don't want you to feel this way. It hurts you. It stresses you out. It makes you mad. You have suffered physical ramifications because of the stress it causes you. Yet you turn around and treat me the same way.
How is that fair?
Do you not see what you are doing?
What about the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?"
I just wish I had the courage to say something to you. To make you see what you are doing to me. I'm sorry I don't. I just sit and take it.
And this? The tip of the iceberg.
I wonder if I'll have the courage to press "Publish"...
Friday, September 02, 2011
It's that time of year again!
It's time to go back to school. One last long weekend and then it's back to reality on Tuesday.
19 little sets of eyes ( some with tears) will be looking at me, wondering what grade one is going to be all about. I've spent countless hours preparing the classroom to what I hope is an inviting, enriching space for learning and even a little fun.
The summer is a great time to reevaluate the previous year. It's successes, it's failures, how I handled situations, the opportunities I offered, the opportunities I received. In June I was tired. Drained. Ready to send the wee ones off to grade 2. Ready for time at home with my own son. The summer gives me time to recoup. Time to find myself again. Find the teacher I want to be. Give me hope for a new year. I've been filled up again. I'm ready for another year. Another set of challenges, another set of triumphs. A fresh start.
Just like the students (and their parents) who come to me on Tuesday, I have hopes for this year:
That I can give each student the attention they need.
That I can bring out the best in each student (and minimize the worst! haha)
That I can make learning fun.
That my patience is bountiful.
That each student feels like they are valued, cared for and appreciated.
That both students and myself discover new things about ourselves.
That we take risks.
That we create sense of community in our classroom.
That we laugh everyday.
That I can let the little things go.
To seize the moment!
I also hope:
That parents are supportive and understanding.
That I don't unexpectedly run out of lysol wipes or hand sanitizer.
That I don't have so many cases of head lice this year (that shit makes my skin crawl).
That there aren't too many consecutive days of indoor recess (that shit makes my skin crawl).
That we don't have a frigid cold winter where I'm out on yard duty in -25*C weather too often. I may live in Canada, but I don't think I was made for this weather.
That our new principal is as easy going and cool as she appears to be so far....
Here's to a new year!
19 little sets of eyes ( some with tears) will be looking at me, wondering what grade one is going to be all about. I've spent countless hours preparing the classroom to what I hope is an inviting, enriching space for learning and even a little fun.
The summer is a great time to reevaluate the previous year. It's successes, it's failures, how I handled situations, the opportunities I offered, the opportunities I received. In June I was tired. Drained. Ready to send the wee ones off to grade 2. Ready for time at home with my own son. The summer gives me time to recoup. Time to find myself again. Find the teacher I want to be. Give me hope for a new year. I've been filled up again. I'm ready for another year. Another set of challenges, another set of triumphs. A fresh start.
Just like the students (and their parents) who come to me on Tuesday, I have hopes for this year:
That I can give each student the attention they need.
That I can bring out the best in each student (and minimize the worst! haha)
That I can make learning fun.
That my patience is bountiful.
That each student feels like they are valued, cared for and appreciated.
That both students and myself discover new things about ourselves.
That we take risks.
That we create sense of community in our classroom.
That we laugh everyday.
That I can let the little things go.
To seize the moment!
I also hope:
That parents are supportive and understanding.
That I don't unexpectedly run out of lysol wipes or hand sanitizer.
That I don't have so many cases of head lice this year (that shit makes my skin crawl).
That there aren't too many consecutive days of indoor recess (that shit makes my skin crawl).
That we don't have a frigid cold winter where I'm out on yard duty in -25*C weather too often. I may live in Canada, but I don't think I was made for this weather.
That our new principal is as easy going and cool as she appears to be so far....
Here's to a new year!
Thursday, September 01, 2011
If there's a skeeter on yer peter, whack it off!
I just watched a segment on tv (discovery channel) where they were doing some sex research.
Some chick was strapped into an MRI machine. All hooked up to a zillion wires and a few doctors watching. Her goal? Self-simulate to orgasm.
While. everyone. watches.
It took her almost 11 minutes for the record.
THEN they show another clit...erm...clip of a woman having an internal ultrasound. Legs in stirrups. No big deal. Then they call in her partner and have him have sex with her..right there in the stirrups while they do an ultrasound and watch. Asking her to tell them when she is going to cum. They are watching the footage right beside them on the screen, 2 feet away! Insanity.
I'm impressed that they were able to achieve the objective so to speak.
I wonder what they got paid..if anything.
I'm wondering why I went into teaching...
Some chick was strapped into an MRI machine. All hooked up to a zillion wires and a few doctors watching. Her goal? Self-simulate to orgasm.
While. everyone. watches.
It took her almost 11 minutes for the record.
THEN they show another clit...erm...clip of a woman having an internal ultrasound. Legs in stirrups. No big deal. Then they call in her partner and have him have sex with her..right there in the stirrups while they do an ultrasound and watch. Asking her to tell them when she is going to cum. They are watching the footage right beside them on the screen, 2 feet away! Insanity.
I'm impressed that they were able to achieve the objective so to speak.
I wonder what they got paid..if anything.
I'm wondering why I went into teaching...
Monday, August 22, 2011
I'm not there yet...
I'm going to be an aunt again.
Lovely news right?
Hmmm.
Not if you have infertility issues and everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant. It's not just anyone..it's people who you know aren't in the right frame of mind, relationship, financial situation, maturity level, etc, etc. Not too judgemental eh? I can't help the feelings I have. When a friend tells me she is expecting, I am genuinely happy. Thrilled. Yes, a part of me is sad because it's not me. Perhaps there is a certain amount of jealousy, but the overwhelming feeling is joy for my friends. This time? I'm not there yet.
Sister in law has been in this relationship less then 3 months. Suddenly she is engaged and pregnant..7 weeks. Do the math.
They don't have a place to live. They don't have stable jobs. They are immature. I could go on and you will leave this blog thinking how much of a bitch I am. I can't help it. I pray that this will help her grow up. I pray this is the relationship that will last. I pray for the health of this baby. I pray that I will find peace and be happy for her. I pray these feelings of sadness will leave me and I can come to celebrate this news like I celebrate the news of friends. When it comes down to it, I already love the baby. It's not his/her fault. I know I'll love him/her like I love my nieces. I know I will support her and be there for her.
I know I can be a better person and not have these horrible thoughts, but I'm not there yet.
It's just not fair.
What do I do?
Lovely news right?
Hmmm.
Not if you have infertility issues and everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant. It's not just anyone..it's people who you know aren't in the right frame of mind, relationship, financial situation, maturity level, etc, etc. Not too judgemental eh? I can't help the feelings I have. When a friend tells me she is expecting, I am genuinely happy. Thrilled. Yes, a part of me is sad because it's not me. Perhaps there is a certain amount of jealousy, but the overwhelming feeling is joy for my friends. This time? I'm not there yet.
Sister in law has been in this relationship less then 3 months. Suddenly she is engaged and pregnant..7 weeks. Do the math.
They don't have a place to live. They don't have stable jobs. They are immature. I could go on and you will leave this blog thinking how much of a bitch I am. I can't help it. I pray that this will help her grow up. I pray this is the relationship that will last. I pray for the health of this baby. I pray that I will find peace and be happy for her. I pray these feelings of sadness will leave me and I can come to celebrate this news like I celebrate the news of friends. When it comes down to it, I already love the baby. It's not his/her fault. I know I'll love him/her like I love my nieces. I know I will support her and be there for her.
I know I can be a better person and not have these horrible thoughts, but I'm not there yet.
It's just not fair.
What do I do?
Thursday, August 18, 2011
If it were so simple
Mason and I were driving to meet some friends this afternoon when out of the blue he started this conversation. I think it will be etched in my mind for awhile. So innocent:
Mason: You know you're mom? and her house?
Me: Yes
Mason: But who is your daddy? Where does he live?
Me: Remember? My daddy is your papa. You have 2 papas, but this papa lives in Heaven with Jesus sweetie.
Mason: Why?
Me: Well, your papa died when I was a little girl and that's when he went to live in heaven....
Mason is quiet for a moment. We've had this conversation before but apparently he's had some time to think about things.
Mason: But why don't I see him? Why doesn't he come see you?
Me: He lives in heaven honey. We can't see him, but he can see us. He watches over us.
Mason: Why doesn't he want to see me?
Me: Oh Mason, he can see you and he loves you very much. You know like your song "God is watching..." It's like that. God is watching and papa is with Him.
Mason: Where is heaven? Can we go see your daddy?
Me: We can't go to heaven yet honey...not for a long time (unless of course I drive off the 400 because I'm fighting tears).
Mason: But where is it?
Me: (ummm..how do I explain this one?!) Umm..in the sky.
Mason: In the clouds?
Me: Yes, kind of.
Mason: Ohhh!! Then maybe we can ask Julian's daddy to take us in his plane to see your daddy!! Then you can see him again and you'll be happy.
Me: (laughing and crying at the same time and trying not to let him see the tears), That's a good idea honey, but your papa is an angel. If we were up in the sky, we really wouldn't see him.
Mason: Like Christine's dog (our neighbour)...my papa is a dog?
Me: Nooo honey. He was just like you and me, but when you go to heaven...it's just...erm...your soul..
My mind starts wandering... Crap...how did I get into this one? How do I explain so he understands? He's probably too young to understand and I'm warping him and messing up..and now he'll think all people die and turn to little yappy white dogs before they go to heaven...Hmmm...maybe I should rent All Dogs go to Heaven and complicate the matter further?!
Mason: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Mason: When I close my eyes I see your daddy in the sky.
Me: I do to sweetie. That's how I know he's here watching us.
Conversation ended. I didn't bother to ask if my dad looks like a bichon frise or not.
Mason: You know you're mom? and her house?
Me: Yes
Mason: But who is your daddy? Where does he live?
Me: Remember? My daddy is your papa. You have 2 papas, but this papa lives in Heaven with Jesus sweetie.
Mason: Why?
Me: Well, your papa died when I was a little girl and that's when he went to live in heaven....
Mason is quiet for a moment. We've had this conversation before but apparently he's had some time to think about things.
Mason: But why don't I see him? Why doesn't he come see you?
Me: He lives in heaven honey. We can't see him, but he can see us. He watches over us.
Mason: Why doesn't he want to see me?
Me: Oh Mason, he can see you and he loves you very much. You know like your song "God is watching..." It's like that. God is watching and papa is with Him.
Mason: Where is heaven? Can we go see your daddy?
Me: We can't go to heaven yet honey...not for a long time (unless of course I drive off the 400 because I'm fighting tears).
Mason: But where is it?
Me: (ummm..how do I explain this one?!) Umm..in the sky.
Mason: In the clouds?
Me: Yes, kind of.
Mason: Ohhh!! Then maybe we can ask Julian's daddy to take us in his plane to see your daddy!! Then you can see him again and you'll be happy.
Me: (laughing and crying at the same time and trying not to let him see the tears), That's a good idea honey, but your papa is an angel. If we were up in the sky, we really wouldn't see him.
Mason: Like Christine's dog (our neighbour)...my papa is a dog?
Me: Nooo honey. He was just like you and me, but when you go to heaven...it's just...erm...your soul..
My mind starts wandering... Crap...how did I get into this one? How do I explain so he understands? He's probably too young to understand and I'm warping him and messing up..and now he'll think all people die and turn to little yappy white dogs before they go to heaven...Hmmm...maybe I should rent All Dogs go to Heaven and complicate the matter further?!
Mason: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Mason: When I close my eyes I see your daddy in the sky.
Me: I do to sweetie. That's how I know he's here watching us.
Conversation ended. I didn't bother to ask if my dad looks like a bichon frise or not.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Thank you
I spent the most amazing Saturday.
Do you know what it's like to have your stomach in your throat..and a perma smile? That's it.
Thanks for the awesome day and making me feel like that. I haven't had that much fun in awhile..which could be quite sad when you think about it.
My whole family thanks you!
Do you know what it's like to have your stomach in your throat..and a perma smile? That's it.
Thanks for the awesome day and making me feel like that. I haven't had that much fun in awhile..which could be quite sad when you think about it.
My whole family thanks you!
In July, Mason attended VBS "PandaMania" with his bestest friend Ainsley. Her mommy and I helped out. Mason had a great time...for the most part. There was a lot of back and forth for me to check on him. Luckily he doesn't have a concept of time yet. He'd tell me to come back in 10 minutes to check on him and I could be gone 45 minutes and as long as I came back at some point and poked my head, he seemed to be fine. What really cracks me up is what he has taken away from this experience.
Ainsley got the CD of the music, so Mason needed one too (two peas in a pod). I think I've listened to the CD no less then 45 thousand times. He knows all the words (and so do I). He sings ALL the songs ALL the time. ALL. THE. TIME. We can be strolling through the mall or a park and he's "singing" (he has his mother's natural talent for singing. not.) "He's wild! He's wild, God is Wild.." Or he changes the tune/words and it may sounds like this (in a crowded store no less), "God is listening...listening...listening..TO YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! HE'S LISTENING!"
Why do I see a future for him that consists of being on tv, on a stage..in a bad toupee...
Lately, he's into saying "That's the way God made me" or "God made it that way". Did you know God pushed daddy's chair into the kitchen?
So if you hear some cute....erm...loud singing and are feeling the need to pray to God (to make it stop no doubt)...it's just Mason starting his ministry early.
Ainsley got the CD of the music, so Mason needed one too (two peas in a pod). I think I've listened to the CD no less then 45 thousand times. He knows all the words (and so do I). He sings ALL the songs ALL the time. ALL. THE. TIME. We can be strolling through the mall or a park and he's "singing" (he has his mother's natural talent for singing. not.) "He's wild! He's wild, God is Wild.." Or he changes the tune/words and it may sounds like this (in a crowded store no less), "God is listening...listening...listening..TO YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! HE'S LISTENING!"
Why do I see a future for him that consists of being on tv, on a stage..in a bad toupee...
Lately, he's into saying "That's the way God made me" or "God made it that way". Did you know God pushed daddy's chair into the kitchen?
So if you hear some cute....erm...loud singing and are feeling the need to pray to God (to make it stop no doubt)...it's just Mason starting his ministry early.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I wish...
I wish I could sleep in once in awhile.
I wish I could come home to dinner on the table and not have to worry about cleaning up after.
I wish I could pass out when I wanted to.
I wish I could disappear into the bathroom and not come out for over an hour and not worry that I've missed something or perhaps I was needed in some way.
I wish I could tune out every sound in the night.
I wish my laundry was washed, dried, folded and (mostly) put away for me.
I wish someone else cleaned the bathrooms, kitchen...house.
I wish someone else handled all the discipline issues.
I wish someone else took of the bills and all the shopping.
I wish someone made my lunch everyday.
I wish for a backrub once in awhile.
I wish I could feel like the only girl in the world...
You know what? Maybe I don't. Because then I'd miss out on so much time with my boy. I don't mind anything to do with him. He's the most important thing in my life. I'd move mountains for him...even if it was by myself.
I'm frustrated. I need more help. I need support. I need to feel that what I do is valued, instead of seeing what isn't done. I deserve that.
Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish. Maybe I need to be more thankful for what I do have.
I wish I could come home to dinner on the table and not have to worry about cleaning up after.
I wish I could pass out when I wanted to.
I wish I could disappear into the bathroom and not come out for over an hour and not worry that I've missed something or perhaps I was needed in some way.
I wish I could tune out every sound in the night.
I wish my laundry was washed, dried, folded and (mostly) put away for me.
I wish someone else cleaned the bathrooms, kitchen...house.
I wish someone else handled all the discipline issues.
I wish someone else took of the bills and all the shopping.
I wish someone made my lunch everyday.
I wish for a backrub once in awhile.
I wish I could feel like the only girl in the world...
You know what? Maybe I don't. Because then I'd miss out on so much time with my boy. I don't mind anything to do with him. He's the most important thing in my life. I'd move mountains for him...even if it was by myself.
I'm frustrated. I need more help. I need support. I need to feel that what I do is valued, instead of seeing what isn't done. I deserve that.
Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish. Maybe I need to be more thankful for what I do have.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Nipples
Grabbed your attention didn't it?
Actually, it's about nipples. My nipples.
Awhile ago, I wrote about my leaking nipples. Well, Mason's idea that my nipples were dripping, not the air conditioner. He seems to have developed an obsession with nipples. My nipples, his nipples, his father's nipples. Just saying the word nipples. I think he'll be a breast man. Maybe he gets that from his father ;)
Anyway, this is where I'll insert some recent nipple comments from my boy. At least for the most part he only brings up nipples at home. I wonder when I should be concerned?
(For those that know Mason, please know that talk of fans still outranks talks of nipples by a landslide).
* I'm getting in/out of the shower and he'll come running in panic mode "Nipples! I want to touch your nipples!" Do you have any idea how many times I've had the discussion about privacy, body parts and not touching?
* I'm getting dressed: "Mommy, you have big nipples." I always said they were the size of bologna slices, and I guess that confirms it.
*"Does daddy have big nipples like you?" "I have big nipples, but like daddy's, not yours." I now have a complex.
*"Your nipples look like eyes. Big eyes. They are watching me!" Yes they are, at least they are still looking up. When they start watching your toes I'll be more concerned.
Nipples.
Hmmm, it is a fun word to say.
Nipples.
Actually, it's about nipples. My nipples.
Awhile ago, I wrote about my leaking nipples. Well, Mason's idea that my nipples were dripping, not the air conditioner. He seems to have developed an obsession with nipples. My nipples, his nipples, his father's nipples. Just saying the word nipples. I think he'll be a breast man. Maybe he gets that from his father ;)
Anyway, this is where I'll insert some recent nipple comments from my boy. At least for the most part he only brings up nipples at home. I wonder when I should be concerned?
(For those that know Mason, please know that talk of fans still outranks talks of nipples by a landslide).
* I'm getting in/out of the shower and he'll come running in panic mode "Nipples! I want to touch your nipples!" Do you have any idea how many times I've had the discussion about privacy, body parts and not touching?
* I'm getting dressed: "Mommy, you have big nipples." I always said they were the size of bologna slices, and I guess that confirms it.
*"Does daddy have big nipples like you?" "I have big nipples, but like daddy's, not yours." I now have a complex.
*"Your nipples look like eyes. Big eyes. They are watching me!" Yes they are, at least they are still looking up. When they start watching your toes I'll be more concerned.
Nipples.
Hmmm, it is a fun word to say.
Nipples.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
No means No I guess...
Amy Winehouse is dead.
Sad. Such a talent. Wasted.
I guess that's what you get when you keep saying no no no to rehab eh?
She's part of the infamous "27 Club" now. She joins Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Ron McKernan of Greatful Dead, Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones...
(I Googled this information. As much as I'd like to be a music nerd, I'm just a nerd).
Postmortem results won't be released for another day or two, but my money is on the crack pipe. OD. Knock me over with a feather if I'm wrong.
Sad. Such a talent. Wasted.
I guess that's what you get when you keep saying no no no to rehab eh?
She's part of the infamous "27 Club" now. She joins Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Ron McKernan of Greatful Dead, Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones...
(I Googled this information. As much as I'd like to be a music nerd, I'm just a nerd).
Postmortem results won't be released for another day or two, but my money is on the crack pipe. OD. Knock me over with a feather if I'm wrong.
R.I.P
Friday, July 22, 2011
It's Magically Delicious!
I took this picture this evening after some much needed rain. It was actually a double rainbow..almost complete. There were a few too many clouds left in the sky to see it completely in any pictures though. BUT what I really wanted to point out about this picture is that the rainbow appears to end in my bedroom!!I was so excited at the possibility of a big pot of gold waiting for me on my bed! But then my mind started working in overdrive (ie: went back to the gutter where it usually is)...perhaps instead I'd find a short fat guy waiting on my bed, looking for some luck of his own. Seen as I don't have "screw a midget" on my bucket list, I figured maybe he'd get tired and just leave the loot. Niether happened. Not even a lousy box of Lucky Charms. There is always next time I guess.
On that note..if you have never watched this video clip: You should. It kills me every freakin' time.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Yowzers.
I thought this morning that it finally had happened. Sometime last night I must of died only to be greeted by insane heat today. Stifling. Hard to breathe. Feeling like you are a lobster being tossed into the boiling water. This must be hell. They were right. I am here. But where is my bus and all my friends? I was sure at least a few of them would be with me.
But why does this hell look an awful lot like my house and street? My neighbourhood? Where are all the bees that I was sure would be flying at me?
Suddenly a wee yellow lion is sneaking up on me and jumping on my back. "Roooar!" he screams.
Lion? Lions in hell? No way.
Big brown eyes peek past the lion and say "good morning mommy! I had a great sleep!"
This can't be hell. This is heaven. Only hotter. A lot hotter.
I'm alive.
The weatherman was right for once. 38.5*C and 49*C with humidity. Hot. It just feels like hell. False alarm.
Let's go to the pool little one. We can swim the day away.
I thought this morning that it finally had happened. Sometime last night I must of died only to be greeted by insane heat today. Stifling. Hard to breathe. Feeling like you are a lobster being tossed into the boiling water. This must be hell. They were right. I am here. But where is my bus and all my friends? I was sure at least a few of them would be with me.
But why does this hell look an awful lot like my house and street? My neighbourhood? Where are all the bees that I was sure would be flying at me?
Suddenly a wee yellow lion is sneaking up on me and jumping on my back. "Roooar!" he screams.
Lion? Lions in hell? No way.
Big brown eyes peek past the lion and say "good morning mommy! I had a great sleep!"
This can't be hell. This is heaven. Only hotter. A lot hotter.
I'm alive.
The weatherman was right for once. 38.5*C and 49*C with humidity. Hot. It just feels like hell. False alarm.
Let's go to the pool little one. We can swim the day away.
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