So I was coming home the other day. I pulled up to a red light. Guess what was stopped right beside me on the line?
A bloody Maserati!
These things are rare in the ghetto that I was running through (although strangely enough it is the second one I have seen this week). The new 2006 Maserati Exec. GT boasts 4.2L V8, 32 Valve 395 hp yummy goodness. A wicked set of wheels...or as the hood rats say "A sweet ride."
So I did what any self respecting Dodge Neon driver would do.
I revved my mighty 4 cylinder engine and glanced at the dude behind the wheel. Look at him all smooth and sexy in his Armani suit. Screw you buddy. Me and my paint splattered cardigan and penny loafers will take you any day. You are soooo going down.
I nodded and waited for the light to turn green. Revving my motor, one foot on the brake, one on the gas, poised and ready to go. The hamsters under my hood ready for the challenge, strapping on their racing goggles and driving gloves. Seconds felt like minutes. Minutes like hours. Finally: Green!
I peeled off the line, smashing the pedal to the floor sending my silver bullet jetting thru the intersection at speeds only marveled by those who drive an Echo or a Geo Metro (props to you by the way). I quickly passed Mr. Masarati and left him in my smoke. I signaled and merged into his lane. I won. I beat the Masarati off the line. Sucker!
Of course he didn't know we were racing, and will probably send me the detailing bill for all the gravel I spun up at his car.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
You are my new hero.
Of course my old hero was Charles Nelson Riley...so take it for what it's worth. ;)
Steve~
Oooh! You have 4 cylinders? I only have 3. It's no wonder I can only race shopping carts.
Sassy, this is exactly why I love you!!!!
Guess you showed him hey!!!!!!!
Sucka fool!!!!!!
Hey Sass! That's a riot! LOL! HHNT!
Lol...you did good girl!
Definitely the best chance to win is the contest your opponent doesn't know about. I do those too!
Great post! Though all the car talk leaves me scratching my head. When people ask me what kind of car I drive, I say, "A blue one".
so i read where you wrote "Masarati"
and i'm thinking to my self "omg, what are the chances that sassy would pull up next to that Fat Opera Guy*, and then dust him at the light?"
myep...
(*Fat Opera Guy, as in one of the Three Tennors)
You showed that yuppy bastard. Wait...no, you showed that rich biatch!
Post a Comment