Dear Friends at the SilverCity Movie Theatre:

I had the privilege of seeing a movie at your fine establishment the other night. It's been awhile since I've actually gone to the movies. You see, I can just get pirated copies or wait until they come out on DVD. I mean, people can get pirated copies, not that I would partake in such illegal activities. I just 'look' at them when I visit the Chinese malls...

Anyhoo, I was quite pleased that you were offering the movie we wanted to see in several theatres. Is this because there is sweet-eff-all out there to see? I was also pleasantly surprised that you have dropped the cost of going to a movie from $13.00 down to $8.65 (why the .65 by the way?). I often wondered how kids could do the whole dinner and a movie date thing without spending a ka-zillion dollars (no exaggeration). However, I soon discovered where those 'savings' are absorbed. Mr. Sass, the camel that he is, wanted a drink. $4.50 later, he was happily sipping on a medium beverage. That is highway robbery! How do you sleep with yourselves?! What is a family to do if they want to go out together to see a movie? What if they want a drink and god-forbid some popcorn too? You're right. A second mortgage on the house is worth it to see your 4 year old's face light up at the sight of those pirate ships, and worth it to see your wife's eye's light up at Johnny Depp.

At least the theatre was clean. My feet didn't stick to the floor and I didn't sit in any bubblegum. We arrived early enough to get some decent seats too, so we weren't forced to sit in the front and crank our necks up to see the screen. That actually begs a question: do normal people actually seek those seats out on purpose? The movie we saw was fan-tab-u-lous. The special effects were second to none. I laughed my little (ha!) ass off at the jokes and one liners throughout the movie. I think I want to be a pirate now. Ahh, the magic of cinema.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have found renewed faith in going out to the movie theatres. It can be a fairly cheap night out, as long as you don't get hungry. That's why I choose to bring my own snacks. Call me cheap if you want to. I'd rather think of it as being resourceful. What are you going to do to stop me anyway? Pat me down? Please. Besides aren't those big purses in fashion right now? Good luck rooting through them. I think the 15 year old searching my bag would be turned off at the tampons and personal lubricant I keep handy for those "ya never know" moments (thank you that girl). He can keep the acne cream though. It's my present to him for letting me sneak my treats in.

Me and my big purse will see you later this week for Clerks 2. Don't mind the smell of microwave popcorn wafting from my bag....it's nothing.

Sass