I apparently have the bladder of an infant.
Thank you Hella for your insight and your thoughtful words. After said statement, Hella was subjected to one of my rants. This time: my bladder. She clearly didn't understand my theory of my peanut sized bladder until after I thoroughly explained it.
I suffer from Vacation Bladder.
You see, all year (school year that is) I am forced to hold it. I can't easily leave my classroom, or turmoil and shenanigans will probably break out. I'd have to find someone to cover me. I save that for those absolute emergencies...which happens to coincide with the night after a concert or Mexican food oddly enough. I often have kids in for recess so going then is also out. I usually hold it until at least lunch. It's not good for the bladder, I know, but it can't be helped. Vacation bladder kicks in as soon as my body has realized that I'm no longer constantly holding it in. My body suddenly relaxes. I swear my bladder knows I'm on vacation and I can go anytime I want. Therefore, I am constantly in the bathroom. It goes to that sense of that "I have to go NOW, my back teeth are floating!" rather quickly. I just might go 3 times in an hour if I've polished off a bottle of water or 2. If I was a boy, it would be so much easier. I could just whip it out and piss all over the place. But, I'm not, so even when I'm out, I'm always keeping my eyes peeled for a bathroom. Just in case. So, there is the much shorter version of my theory on "Vacation Bladder." Just thought you might like to know. This will serve as a reminder to Hella, just in case she forgets. As her homework, she needs to map out all the bathrooms for me at her work since I am visiting her and the fiberglass cow on Thursday.
And before anyone suggests it, A) I am NOT pregnant and b) I do not have an infection. Just clearing that up right now.
Gotta go! Literally.
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10 comments:
Damn! I was gonna say both A and B.
What did we do before blogs to discuss this stuff?!? Tee hee.
Sassy - fortunatly for you all the bathrooms at work are located onthe main floor.....and that is where my classroom is.
HOWEVER: The one off the laundry room is out of service. There are two by the gym. The one closest to the gym is forever over flowing, and the one further away from the gym is working but whenever I go in there it seems the person that went in before be has some serious IBS problems and needs to carry some bathroom spray!
You will be fine..I will take care of you!
Ha. I love this post. My best friend is also a teacher. I wonder if she has vacation bladder also.
Shenanigans is one of my favourite words, that and Haligonian.
I actually have to know where the bathroom is always because I have mental problems. :) Just kidding, I am very sane. I think.
shora - Before blogs? I think the mental institutions were a lot fuller.
hella - I think I have it...which one is it that you backed up last week? kidding.
sheri - My guess is she does..or is in denial.
binsk - maybe I have mental problems...oh crap.
You know, if you hold it like that it's good for the kegals
I’m just saying, with the anniversary and all...
Creepy. I pee all the time. It's probably got something to do w/ your metabolism.
I like it! Good job. Go on.
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