My redneck husband and his cars...

While visiting Hella yesterday, Mr. Sass seems to have potentially acquired a 'new' car. By new car I mean some heap of shit that's stuck in the mud, and belongs to Hella's dad. There happens to be a family of chipmunks who live in the engine compartment too. It doesn't get much better than this!
I only kid about it being a heap of shit. After about 13 years of being with Mr. Sass, I not only know a lot about cars (and can diagnose/fix a lot myself!), but I can appreciate the beauty that lies beneath some rust, and in this case, some mold and moss. Hella's mom wants it gone, and Mr. Sass wants a new toy to play with. I don't give a rat's ass as long as I have a garage to park in in the winter months. So, the adventure shall soon begin.
The thing I've noticed about Mr. Sass and his love of all things cars, is he's a bit of a redneck when it comes to them. The last truck he was 'storing' at Hella's place got so rusted it actually broke into two pieces on the trailer while taking it back 'home'. Thank God for small miracles. Looking back over the years, and the many cars that have come in and out of our lives, the evidence that I'm married to a redneck in disguise seems to pile up. Keep in mind this only pertains to Mr. Sass and cars. I could do a whole other book on the other things that make this boy a redneck...but I like the bed I sleep in thank you very much.

• When driving, the rule seems to be that at a 4 way stop the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
• Removing the back seat just makes more room for speakers and tools.
• Laying rubber while in a funeral procession is acceptable.
• Driving with your left foot out of the window is a skill, not a distraction officer!
• It's okay if your boots have more tread then your tires.
• A sharpie does a damn good 'touch-up' job.
• He can hold up the hood of his car with his head while he works on it.
• One truck has more lights than our house.
• The only Spanish he knows is "El Camino"
• He owns over 8 cars, but sometimes needs to bum a ride to work.
• He works on his car, even when there is nothing wrong with it.
• He does own half a pick up truck.
• For every car he buys, he searches for a second 'parts-car.'
• He's emptied the bed of his truck by driving backwards really fast and slamming on the breaks.
  

I just fear that one day, if he keeps bringing these things home, we will be the salvage yards biggest competition!

Edit: As I read this list out to Mr. Sass, I heard a tiny voice whine "It's truuue..."