Give it a pet name like Sammy or Sir Fucksalot (don't ask)
Love him and stroke him often.
Take him out to play.
Shave my balls. No need to look like big hairy kiwis now.
Wear boxers and tuck him a little to the left.
Stick it in the mashed potatoes at the next party.
Just thought you should Know. I've hit a new low. I know.
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Some more words of wisdom regarding superheros:BRODIE: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun, right through her back. What about her womb, you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
TS: Sure, why not?
BRODIE: He's an alien for Christssake. His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom, but that would kill him.
He's got a point you know.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
A previous thought has resurfaced again today. It seems I have penis on my mind.
And do you think The Thing is hard all over? I mean really all over.
Yup. A definite fixation lately on superheros and penises. I wonder why that is?
Forgive me.
Maybe too much Mallrats.
16 comments:
Don't suck any dick on the way to the parking lot.
Not mallrats but oh so appropriate.
Look at this morose mother fucker right here....smells like someone shit in her cereal....BUNG!!!
and another personal favorite, do you know what they make you do in the County......Toss the Salad.
NOOCH!
LMAO!!!!!!
I never thought of what Iwould do if I had a penis.....hmmmmm..... I shall get back to you on this:)
my my.. penis envy? or is it penis deprivation??
Well, you do have quite an abnormally outrageous fixation on penises in this particularly phallus post, however, recalling that I recently told you I could tie a cherry stem with my penis, I feel completely responsible for your obsession.
Next time you're in Sacramento, I'll buy you a Coke.
acctually having a penis isn't that great...
ok, i lied, it's fucking awsome!
and i usually keep it off to the right.
My exes' penises names were:
Henry
Mr. Winky
hahahahha
Brodie: "he likes to fuck girls in a very uncomfortable place"
TS: "what, like the back seat of a volkswagen?"
Jas- A cherry coke?;)
binsk - hehe sooo appropriate!
hella - you are a carny in the worst way! nooch to you baby. I think you're the only one who loves these movies like I do.
mackey - ohhh please let me know!
outlaw torn - whatever it is, there is penis on the brain.
jj - can't I have both?!
redneck nerdboy - yup. you're right. I do blame you! You're on for the coke, but mackey is right, can we make it a cherry coke?!
exile - is that why boys are always touching themselves, cuz it's so great? Ohhh and that is a great line...although i have no idea about VW...tee hee.
randi - Henry? that's awesome.
If I had a penis, I am positive I could set a new record for wanking... on the other hand - I hope I don't carry on entire conversations with people while playing with it! WHY do they do that?? PPHead just does it all the damn time and I have to tell him to quit pinching on his willie while he's talking to me - its just so wrong! LMAO!
It's cuz he wants ya Becky!! He is trying to keep his wild pony at bay!!
( If ya didn't walk around the house all day in those crotchless panties & pasties he might not yank on it so much!)
A CHERRY coke!!
Okay. I guess then I'll be obligated to show you my stem tying trick, huh?
If I had a penis I would pee wherever I wanted whenever I wanted...That is truly what I envy when I am ready to explode from having to go while I'm trying to find a restroom and The Sweet One can just whip it out and leak wherever he pleases!
sassy- acctually the reason we keep touching it is because it moves around and often folds into an uncomfortable position.... but yeah, it feels damn good too
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