Father's Day. This day tends to be a hard day for me. I look at everyone celebrating with their fathers, and I miss mine even more. In school we do fancy little crafts for the fathers, and the kids naturally ask what I will do for mine. Usually, I respond that I will give him the same card/craft we are doing. Sometimes they ask just enough questions that I tell them the truth. My father passed away when I was younger. I don't want to tell them I was their age: 9. No need to put worry in their head. This year one of my little girls came to my desk and asked me about my plans with my dad. Conversation continued and she knows what happened. She looked up at me and gave me the biggest hug and said I could come to their house and share her dad. I was torn between laughing and crying at the sincerity of her thought. This is one reason I love kids so much!

My dad and I were close. I was 'daddy's little girl'. We used to sneak off before everyone was up on a Saturday morning to run errands. He and I were the only morning people in the house! We would drive around listening to Twisted Sister and Cyndi Lauper. He told me that when he heard "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'" it made him think of me. He got me and my older bro into soapbox racing. He became president of the organization and never missed a race. He painted my car something different every year. One year it was the Pink Panther and another Black Magic. I always had the best looking car around. I used to climb up on a chair in the kitchen and help him cook for the catering company he had on the side. He took the time to teach me tricks, and then would tell people how good of a help I was. I probably was more of a nuisance then a help! Our family used to go to Darien Lake every summer, right before school started. We would spend a few days camping and going on rides. I still have a few of the stuffed animals he won for me. I can't throw them away. Unfortunately, it was just after our last trip there that he was getting us ready for bed and school the next day, when he passed away. It was late at night and my mom still thinks we all slept through the commotion of the ambulance, the police and my granparents coming. I was awake. I heard it all, and saw most of it.

I knew, and I blew a kiss to you from the window.

It's been almost 18 years. It blows my mind. I am sad when I think that he missed milestones in my life that other girls got to share with their dads. Although, I have such an amazing family and I never went without. I always had someone at a 'father-daughter' event. My aunt is a second mom to me, and she gave me away at my wedding and my cousin danced with me that dance I swore was to be left out of the reception! Both whispered words in my ear that brought tears to my eyes and I will never forget. I am lucky to have the time I did and I'm thankful for that.

I am lucky to have amazing in-laws. My father in law treats me just like his own daughter, and I am spoiled rotten by both. I can't be thankful enough. Although my own father can't be here, I won't spend allllll day being sad. I have my memories and they make me smile.

Happy Father's Day to anyone celebrating.

and special thanks to someone who knew I needed a hug, and gave it to me.