All this coming from the gal who met and had her pic taken with Ron Jeremy.... check it out:
Is there potential for this kind of relationship to grow into something else? Some may say no, but we say yes. For example, we have this friend who was partaking in this "friends with benefits" philosophy. It was suppose to be just sex on the sly. They are now friends with benefits, a house and a line of credit.
In my own opinion, I'm not sure I could do it. At this stage of my life, I view sex as something very different. Sex to me is so much more then getting your jollies off. It's not just physical, its emotional too, where two people can connect and really become one. However, I'm also at a different stage in my life. I know that Mel eventually wants to get back to this.
Don't get me wrong, she does eventually want a meaningful relationship. Mel has seen how things work. She got married young, was in committed realtionship for a long time and has a son. She is very choosey and careful, but honestly misses the intimacy of a man. She would love to one day get married again and have more children. Until then, is it so wrong to have a little fun?
6 comments:
What ever floats your boat:)
Two mature adults can make their own decisions as to what is right for them.
heheheh.. that pic is priceless!!
good luck mel with your search, he's wishing you someone like you wish for soon. for the record, i agree with you on a lot of things sassy! :-)
I completely agree with Mel. I have come to a point in my life where I can appreciate different aspects of sex. If I wasn't with someone right now, I would LOVE to just chill out, focus on friends and career and hobbies, while having a guy on the side to just "get my fuck on" with.
At the same time, it is wonderful, as Mel probably knows, when something DOES click, when you do reach another level. I had a friends with benefits thing turn into a full-blown Love once before. Ultimately we did break up, but it wasn't because we had started off as sex buddies. There are guys who will treat you with respect and understand that you want sex and that's what the situation is. But be careful, Mel, there are also those who will treat you like a slut, even though they are doing the same thing you are. Needless to say, with the former type of man, it can be a great time. That's my humble opinion.
I'm very lucky to have had one of the best "friends with benifits" situations EVER! He was a friend from highschool days. We knew each other well enough, we had a lot of friends in common, we had fun when we hung out in the past, we both obviously thought the other was attractive but we never wanted to date or have a serious relationship with one another.
I'm not even quite sure how it happened but we were both single and fed up with the losers we were encountering so we decided mutually to be "fuck buddies". No strings, no "feelings", no keeping tabs, whatever. It was the BEST thing ever. We got together whenever we both had time. We had a TON of fun, got our jollies and then went our seperate ways. It wasn't totally cold or anything like that, I think he was even my date to a few formals in college but the main point here is that it was FUN. Neither of us had any hidden agendas or wanted more from the other person. It was perfect and it will always remind me of a really fun, carefree time in my life. I hope Mel has the same experience...Tell her to email me if she wants some advice ;O)
Well, I say this from the perspective of a 22 year old that's been looking for a serious relationship forever, but I've found FWBs are indeed possible, if and ONLY IF it's completely 100% on your terms. And by on your terms, I even mean that if he calls one night and you're not 100% for it, you shouldn't do it. In other words, FWB aren't relationships with all their compromises and all the effort to work together. It's about you getting what you want, it's about pleasure in the moment. If you don't get that, that's when it starts to hurt emotionally, which, from what I've seen from college girls, is much more likely to happen to the girl than the guy. (But that's another point- a lot of young girls end up convincing themselves that they want a FWB, hoping it will turn into more, and when it doesn't, they're devestated. You have to go into it with the mentality of okay, it might turn into something, but it probably won't, and in the meantime, I'm satisfied).
I was in a FWB sitch for almost 2 yrs. Now we look back on it as we were exes and are even contemplating "getting back together." If it goes on for longer than a month, it's a relationship. Period.
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