Waiting for my dessert....

I don't often open up about the infertility issues that Mr. Sass and I are faced with. I belong to online communities and have a good close group of girlfriends that are beyond supportive. It's not that I'm ashamed or uncomfortable talking about it, it's just that I sometimes can't stand the comments. The "it's not your time" "I'm sorry...that must really suck" "doesn't it suck when you see other people having babies all the time, especially those who pop them out and can't afford them or love them?" "Relax and it will happen" "Maybe you aren't doing it right." That last one is my favourite. I know people mean well and unless they have been through, or are going through infertility, they really have no idea. At all. None. I don't hold comments against people, but they still upset me sometimes. I can't fault people for not understanding either. However, I'd like to share something that will perhaps shed a little light...a little fraction of what we go through, and the feelings involved with infertility. I wish my sisters in this journey a big ol' slice of chocolate cake.

This is from WE ARE ALL MOTHERS by Christine Dallimore. She has written what my heart feels. What she has written has given me strength, and others insight. She is blessed with a gift, and I am so thankful she was able to share it with us...and now I share it with you:


Over the past several years, I have been confronted with many comments concerning my infertility journey. In my neck of the woods, not a whole lot of people can really understand the magnitude of the emotional luggage that comes with it. A lot of the comments have been something along the lines of....

"I wish I could understand your pain."

OR

"I can't imagine what it would be like to NOT be able to have children."

In response, I usually smile and say....

"Imagine that you have never tasted chocolate cake before. Others that have tell you time and time again how wonderful it is. Then the day comes where the chocolate cake is sitting right there in front of you. It does look amazing. You want it more than anything. You want to experience the joy of it yourself. It's right there in front of you, but no matter what, you just can't have it. You are told you must wait. Now take that feeling, multiply it by 100 and you may come close to how infertility feels!"

After that, they usually nod in acceptance. After all, who can't relate to CHOCOLATE CAKE?!?

When I am emotionally vulnerable, I write. Shortly after I lost Conner, I had so many emotions that I didn't even know where to begin to sort through them. Talk about never writing so much in all of my life! This little ditty is a small reflection of that time. It's still raw and it's not perfect. It does reflect my journey thus far however. It also expands a little bit more on what I talked about above. I'll warn you though- it is long winded!!!

"Imagine yourself dressed up in your finest clothes. You and your sweet husband are attending a dinner together in one of the nicest restaurants in town. You both have planned, waited and saved for this evening. To say the least, you are very excited! You and your husband arrive and the atmosphere is more than you expected. Everyone around you is having a good time. The chandeliers are sparkling, candles are glowing and sweet soft music is playing in the background. To your pleasant surprise you see others there you know. You are seated with them and in your heart you think there just couldn't be anything better!

The table is just exquisite. Breathtaking really. The people at your table begin to talk to you in jolly conversation. You glance at the menu and you don't even know where to begin! You look over everything slowly and carefully, especially the dessert menu! All of your life you have been hearing about this restaurant's marvellous and divine desserts. Deep in your heart, you have been looking forward to enjoying dessert the most!

Everyone at your table orders their food. For dessert they all order chocolate cake. You think, "Hey that sounds perfect. I'll have chocolate cake too please." The waiter nods in approval and quickly swifts off to put in your order. In the meantime, you are still enjoying the surroundings, the music and the company. You grab your husband's hand and sigh "Yes, life just couldn't get any better."

The food comes and everything looks just pleasing. Some of the things you tasted you really love, some of the things you didn't. Either way, you know that dessert is on it's way. That thought in and of itself is just exciting! Then you see him, your waiter! Your wonderful, blessed waiter with a silver tray full of plates of chocolate cake! He comes and starts handing out plates to those you know. You look at the cake and to put it simply, it looks just divine. You're even more excited now! The waiter comes to your side and then passes you and your husband. You are shocked and think there must be some mistake. you don't know what to do, but rather than make a fuss you think, "Just wait, I will get my chocolate cake soon too."

Those that have their dessert are going on and on about how amazing the taste is. You smile, you are truly happy for them. Deep down you are anxious and their feelings only feed your curiosity and desire. Then you see the waiter again and think, "Ahhh, here he is." You notice that he starts handing out seconds and thirds to those that have already had their piece of cake. Your husband doesn't notice, he's busy chatting with the fellow next to him! Deep down though you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know something is wrong, something is very, very wrong.

You ask the waiter, "Excuse me please. Where is my chocolate cake that I ordered"? The waiter just replies, "The baker has said that you must wait." He rushes off and not another word is said. Time goes on. You still enjoy the surroundings, the people and the conversations. All the while though, you can't get chocolate cake out of your mind. Time keeps creeping by and soon your husband notices too, "Where is our dessert?" You hold his hand and look into his loving eyes and think, "Even without chocolate cake, life is still good."

Time, however, creeps and it creeps. At moments it seems like it has even stopped. It's getting late and people are noticing you haven't received your dessert yet. Questions start arising and you just don't know how to respond. You look around other tables and notice that people are also getting their third, fourth and fifth servings of dessert. "Why" is all you have to lean upon. You notice that others have ordered things for dessert besides chocolate cake. There is cherry pie, brownie ice cream sundaes, raspberry cheesecakes and such. They seem just as pleased, if not more pleased with their desserts and you wonder, "Should I order cherry pie too"? You talk to the waiter and he simply says, "I'm sorry ma'am, you just need to be patient and wait."

You are starting to burn inside. Despite all of your best efforts you are beginning to boil. You really want to jump on top of the table and stomp while shouting, "Where is my chocolate cake." You don't though because you know that will get you no where! Instead you look around and notice that there are some that are refusing their chocolate cake. "It will make me fat" one says. "Ugh. I have enough already" another states. One woman, simply dumps her beautiful chocolate cake onto the floor.

As you look deeper around you, you notice there are a few others that are waiting too. Your heart goes out to them. You smile and wish there was something more you could do. You know their pain and it hurts. It really hurts.
Finally, the waiter comes and he has chocolate cake on that familiar beautiful silver platter...and he has enough for two. One for your husband and one for you! Your so elated with joy that you can't hardly stand it!!! You tell everyone at your table and they are just as happy for you. "We knew it would happen" they say. "You just needed to relax"! Little did they know that deep inside relaxing was the last thing you were feeling! You look at your husband. Tears are in both of your eyes. You carefully take a taste. It's such sweet, sweet perfection. You go to take another and just before you do the waiter comes and gently takes your plates away. "Something is wrong" he says. "Don't worry my dear, the time is soon."

There's confusion. Sadness. Anger. Above all though, you are just deeply and truly heartbroken. Heartbroken to the very core. You don't know what to do. You turn to others for support. They cry with you and too ask why. You take a deep breath and find the strength to go on. You have been given the promise that you will receive dessert. It is just not understood as to when. You decide to put your full trust in the baker. You reach far inside within yourself and find the effort to ask your husband to dance.

He looks at you and smiles..."Yes, I would love to dance with you my dear one." You both get up, leave the table and set off to dance.

As you are dancing, you get your bearings. You again begin to notice your surroundings. The beautiful surroundings that have so magically grabbed your attention in the first place. You remember the music, the sounds, the smell of the sweet flowers. You breath. That's all you can do. You breath and slowly begin to enjoy the moment again. Slowly, it all comes back to you. The things you love. Being with the person you love the most. The pains you have just felt are still there. Still vulnerable, but you feel life again. Yes, life is still good.

After quite a few dances, you both decide it's time to sit at your table. People still have their desserts and their chocolate cakes. Your space is still empty. You decide, however, to really focus on those around you. In doing so you find more joy. The desire for dessert is still there- but it's manageable. Time moves on.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, your waiter appears. He has the biggest smile on his face. He is pleased to announce that you and your husband's dessert is finally here!! Your heart wells up with joy, but you're afraid too. You ask the waiter, "Will you take it away"? "No, this one was made especially for you." You smile back, hardly believing that this could be true or real. You look at it and it's not a dessert you have ever seen before. It's then that you realize that the baker has made a dessert with all of your favorite colors and flavors. Careful detail was lovingly taken into every consideration. "How did He know that this is exactly what I wanted"? The waiter just smiles and says, "Because he knows and loves you." If you look, you can see him there. You look and at the door, through the little round window you see a gentle man with tears in his eyes. He is grinning from ear to ear and looking at you and your husband. You can't hardly see anymore because of all of the happy tears. You whisper a big "Thank You" and in your heart you feel that this simple phrase will never be enough.

You look at the people around you, they too have tears in their eyes. They too are smiling from ear to ear. Everything is so precious and tender now- even more so than when you first arrived here. It's then that you learn that the pains you have felt all along the way. The waiting, the crying, the agony. It's all been a special recipe to make this moment this much more wonderful and sacred.

In your soul you take a deep breath and slowly let out a big sigh of gratitude.

You grab your husband's hand and sigh again, "Yes, life just couldn't get any better."

Feb - 2003




By Christine Dallimore

22 years ago I had to say goodbye.
I love you dad.
Always thinking of you, always missing you.

Let's talk about me.

It's been awhile since I've done this...and another blogger recently did it, so I'm playing along. By my rules. I hope I'm not repeating anything I've written before, but if I do, you can add "uncreative and unoriginal" to the list. Sue me.

Facts about me: (it's suppose to be "interesting facts about me" but I find that a bit subjective)

1. I have an order to do things in the shower. If I don't follow this order, I get all discombobulated. It must happen in this order: wash hair, rinse hair, wash body, shave (if needed), rinse body, pumice feet, condition hair, wash face, extra attention to private areas (get your mind out of the gutter), rinse conditioner out of hair, extra all over rinse, rinse face, turn off water. Wrap hair, then body. Oh hell this OCD continues after the shower with my routine too. It has an order.
Don't mess with the order.

2. I really like peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches. It has to be iceberg lettuce. Try it. SO GOOD.

3. I used to listen to Ozzy Osbourne and Cyndi Lauper with my dad. I still get really happy hearing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

4. Toy Story is probably my favourite Disney Pixar movie. It also makes me happy :)

5. 32 G. Yup. Someone will get what that means.

6. I was an Air Cadet. hehe.

7. I was also a Girl Guide, but got "thrown" out.

8. I don't like William Shatner. Shitner is more like it. However, I can't quite place what it is about him that annoys the fuck out of me. Star Trek fans...don't hate me. =P

9. I did go to a Star Trek convention once though. I'm not explaining myself though.

10. Don't tell Mr. Sass, but I quite like TopGear on BBC. I've watched it a few times on my own too. It's way cool. With knobs.

11. I'd really like to unleash the inner slut of my bestie K. I know it's in there somewhere!! Turn her into a naughty little Minx. (I've mainly added that because she reads this and I know I'll get a call soon). It would be fun though....Meow.

Dear Anonymous,

You are really starting to piss me off with your spam. I've gone years without a spam problem and now you start. Is it really necessary?
I assure you that no one who spends (wastes) their time reading this blog cares about vacation destinations, casino tables and random football facts. At least not from an anonymous source. Nor can the majority of my readers speak the Asian language in which you post in. Let me tell you this...I think it's pretty universal:
Fuck off.
I say it again: Fuck off.
I am going to ashew you with a firm hand. And put the bloody word verification in. So there.

~Sassy

South of the boarder fun.

Sorry, not that kind of "south of the boarder" fun. This time anyway.

We went to the States for a weekend away with friends. Although it is not the first time I have been south of the boarder, I have a couple things to say:

1. Dear God my American Chums, what the fuck have you done to my Cheerios?! Banana Cheerios, Chocolate Cheerios, Yogurt Cheerios, Fruity Cheerios...it's just to much to take in.

2. Dear Bob Evans. I love you. I love that your kids menu is super cheap (ummm $1.99 for breakfast?!) and offers so many sides. I was super excited that my boy could have fruit or yogurt instead of fries or other (much hated by him) potatoes. One thing though darling Bob (if I can call you that?). Your portion size is out of control. Way too much food for one person. Actually this goes for every place we went. Why is everything so big? Why does it have to be "go big or go home?" We went home. To normal sized stuff. At the end of the day though, I love you Bob Evans.

3. Is there some sick fool behind the whole GPS phenomenon (to which I say is a "colossal waste of money". I like paper directions, but perhaps I'm old skool like that) that gets a kick out of fucking with people and sending them all willy nilly about town? I swear it's a sick joke to see how far off course you can take someone before bringing them right back to the same bloody highway 10 minutes later. Also, not cool to take 2 car loads of lost and confused white folk into the ghetto and tell them "you've reached your destination." Forcing them to pull into an abandoned and boarded up building's parking lot (we had our pick) to re-evaluate our directions...all while car after car of "interesting" (we'll leave it at that) individuals in far too expensive cars for the area, slowly drove by staring at us. We decided to wing it and get the fuck out there. So this message is for you TomTom: FUCK YOU!! We did fine without you.

Side note: K and M: this fiasco was by no far your fault, even though you own the bloody thing. I think it really wanted us killed. It was an adventure..and hey we laughed our way through it. Nervous laugh at times..but laughter none the less...hehe

So that's it for now.....

I'm not wondering anymore.

I was so sure.
I let myself think it was. I waited patiently not saying a word to anyone. 1 day, 2 days, 5 days, 8 days...nothing.I let my mind wander to the what ifs, the maybes and the future. I was happy. I was excited. I shouldn't have done that. Especially when I didn't know for sure.
Now I know it's not to be and I'm sad.
I feel foolish.
I should know better then this.
Sometimes life sucks and there is nothing I can do about it.

Hmmmmmm.
I wonder....

Makes me smile :)

I need to smile.
All the money problems in the world can't take away from how happy this boy makes me.




Mason: You are everything to me. I love you so much.

Let's pull our our rubber rain boots!!

Let's add to my list shall we:

* Computer has issues: $115.00 to fix.
* Lawnmower blows it's motor. Haven't replaced it yet. Thinking about getting a goat instead. I wonder what it costs to feed one compared to a new mower. I'd name him Moe.
If lawnmower wins at least it's the end of the year so there should be sales.
* Alternator in my car goes yesterday. $305 for a new one. At least Mr. Sass can put it in and I don't have to pay labour.

*sigh*

At least we have our health.
I'm very thankful for that.

Now I'm going to post something nicer, even if it's just a picture to make me smile.

It's raining, it's pouring...

It's been a rough couple of weeks. First I managed to fall out of the "babysitter's" house.
Yes. I fell. out. of. the. house. How does one do that you ask? Easy. Forget there is a little step down, trip on your flimsy flip flop...and voila...down you go. However, I did ease my fall with my elbow. I didn't realize the damage I did until I felt the blood running down my arm. 2 weeks later and it's a scabbed over mess. Bruises for decoration and all blood cleaned up. It looks real sexy. Do guys dig scars on chicks, like chicks do? I'm sure this will scar. It's pretty vicious. But I'm tough.
Except when toddler sass is being silly and he kicks my bruised and scabbed arm and part of the scab comes off. THEN I swear silently and want to cry.

Then just when we are getting ready for a little time away at the cottage, I start to feel sick. I have horrible back pain and am miserable (everyone's favourite version of me). I decide to go to the doctor just to make sure. Call it a gut feeling.
Turns out I have pneumonia. I'll spare the details, but I did end up in the hospital. The good news? I'll feel back to my 100% in 4-5 weeks. Just in time to go back to work (I'm sure those of you who work in the summer have no sympathy for me. Whatsoever.). I can tell I've pushed myself because at the end of the day my chest hurts and I'm soooo tired. Like today. Oops.
I'm not use to climbing a set of stairs (that I usually fly up 2 at a time) and huffing and puffing. I feel like I'm in horrible shape. Is this what morbidly obese people feel like? I don't like this feeling of being out of breath all the time. It sucks balls.

What else you ask? Oh just my washer and dryer decide to bite the dust. I can't complain too much because it's been so good to us for years. YEARS. But I don't want to spend the money...simply because we don't have the money!! But we have to. Argh. I'm feeling pretty broke. Let's break the last 2 weeks down:
Passports for all three of us: $200.
Dog vet visit: $300
Drugs for stupid pneumonia: $200 (I'm not going to lie here...I'll get 100% of this back when I send in my claim..but for now, I'm lazy and haven't done it)
New washer and dryer: Approx $1700 before tax. Ugh.
We were suppose to go away with some friends on a shopping trip to Grove City, but now I'm thinking we have to back out because that money will be needed for a washer/dryer.

Does this post sound like I'm whining?
Well I am.
I hate this.
I'm sick.
I'm tired.
I'm broke.
And I'm going to complain all I want. For now.

Maybe I'll be in a better mood and try to post something nicer. But for now...whine whine whine.
And a foot stomp for good measure.

Does it really matter if he was tired?

Check this article out:

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6622I420100703

They had me at the title: "Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix..." (who cares about the rest of the title). That shit right there is journalism at it's best. It's worthy of a colour and the bold button. I'm guessing if the guy is gay then succumbing to dicks isn't so bad. It's okay to be submissive once and awhile.
The best line in the article: "I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn't enough."

Let the comments from the peanut gallery roll.

...and GO!

Test.
This is why I NEED to have more children. He's adorable! :) I'm biased, I know.
I'm just testing my new siggy for another board :) You can disregard this message and just look at how cute he is. I'm okay with that.

If it was only as easy as the books say it is

Okay..this will be a heavier post I think. Not quiet as heavy as yours truly, but that's a whole other post...*sigh*

Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Maybe too much thinking.
We want to have more kids. But how?
I know *how* but as many know, getting pregnant for us is just not as easy as it looks in the books. We've always been open to adoption and still are. Perhaps baby #2 will come via adoption. Do we start the process now? Do I go and re-educate myself on the process and jump in full throttle?
You'd think that because we are both on board that it would be an easy decision. But no.
The thing is I really want to be pregnant again.
I loved being pregnant. Loved.
I felt my best when I was pregnant.
Mind, you I could do without labour and delivery...but then again, for the end result I'd do it a thousand times.
The option for me to get pregnant is IVF. IVF = cha-ching! Money which we are trying to save, but it's hard with so many bills and a toddler running around needing things. The other problem is that if I go through all that and we get to the point and there is 1 piece missing from one of us (ie: no eggs harvested or no sperm) then we have to use a donor. I don't want to go through everything and it be for nothing.
Problem.
One of us may be a bit uncomfortable with the use of a donor. We've talked about knowing the donor and not knowing the donor and are really not sure. We have had a few offers from friends which may sound rather odd, but it means a lot that they'd even offer.

I know we have a lot more talking to do..I just wish it was easier. It's been on my mind...I'm at that proverbial fork in the road and I'm not sure what path to take.

So what to do?
Discuss.

I'm trying dammit.
School's out for the summer. I should have more time. But I just feel that this blog is lack luster...but a friend of mine once told me that a blog that talks about a husband leaving her for a girl who likes a good fisting is quality. Top notch indeed.

That will give me some motivation to look beyond the mundane and find a little humour in it perhaps.

Haha.
Ha.

Happy Father's Day!

What a nice day! Mason and I baked muffins and made breakfast for Mr. Sass this morning (and unlike my mother's day breakfast, I didn't get him to clean it up!). Mason woke him up with a "happy father's day daddy!" It was really sweet. 2 minutes later he yelled "wake up daddy..put a shirt on and come play with me!" That's more like my boy!
We did our normal running around on a Sunday. Mason went down for a nap. So did mommy!
When we woke up we headed to Mr. Sass' parents house where we sat outside and Mason and Kayla (my 7 year old niece) ran through the sprinkler. They had a blast. I may have run through a few times too. It was such a relaxing, nice afternoon.

Happy Father's day Mr. Sass. You are a fantastic daddy. We love you :)

Mason playing in the sprinkler - he had a blast!

Mason and Kayla

Happy Father's Day to all the father's out there...and a special wish for a happy father's day to my own daddy. I miss you.

Therapy bills in the future?

So last night I had a dream. I had a dream that my loving husband left me for a girl who liked a good fisting.

You read that correctly.

Who dreams this shit up?

Enlighten Me

Someone..please...enlighten me.

What happened?
One minute we were great friends and the next minute we're not. What the hell did I do now?
I care, but I don't care. It's been so long and I've got such wonderful friends and family around me, but part of me would kind of like to know. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons and I guess you have served your purpose.
So like an old pair of underwear, I toss you out, never to think of you again.


I guess I'm getting all my frustrations out lately between here and other social networks...it's kind of therapeutic! *deep breath*

They love it from an early age...

A few (Penis) Masonisms of late:

* The babysitter's husband walks in and Mason goes over to say hello. He says, "Hi Martin. How's your day. Aaron has a penis." And walks away.

* Mr. Sass goes in to the bathroom and locks the door. It's the only way to get any privacy around here. Mason tries the door and tells me "Hey, it's locked!" I respond, "That's because daddy wants privacy." Mason then yells at the top of his lungs "DADDY HAS A PENIS!!!". He does this every time. He once yelled "Daddy wants a penis" by accident. I'm trying to get him to do that one in public. Mr. Sass would turn about 50 shades of red.

* My friend's little girl likes to take her clothes off (same age as Mason). Today she pulled her arms out of her tank top and pulled the shirt down her tummy. Mason walks by and says, "Oh Isabelle...your nipples!"

* As most know (and if you don't, I'm not explaining to you), boys will get random erections. Mason likes to announce "I have my big penis!"

I think he is obsessed with Penis. I wonder if I should be concerned....

Mother's Day Part 2. The truly romantic part.

The last post was an all mushy mushy mother's day one.
Don't get me wrong, I believe and stand behind every last word I plagiarized.

I thought I better let you into the real mother's day in the Sassy household. While I was cleaning up the lovely breakfast that was made for me (I know! I'm a lucky gal!), my boys were busy. Mason was playing at my feet and Mr. Sass was playing with the magnetic letters on the dishwasher. One would think he was writing something nice to me, since you know, it wasn't like he said it in any Hallmark card or anything.
This is what he left for me:

What can I say? I'm a lucky girl.

Before I was a mom...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,

I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and soon to be mothers!!
(yes - I stole this from an email I got)

Don't Just Wax it...Vajazzle It!!

Do I live under a rock?
How come I've never heard of this?!

Move over Bedazzlers! Here come the Vajazzlers!!
Vajazzle? you ask.
Well...think Bedazzling on your va-jj.
Wax it.
Decorate it.

So I guess the idea is to wax it and then get these crystals put on. I really and truly hope they use some kind of adhesive and not this old school bedazzler gun! I think you run the chance of your crotch resembling a disco ball, but it could be classy and quite the surprise if someone were to venture down there....

Do you think we could bedazzle a set of balls too? Perhaps no straight guy would want that...but if they did, what would it be called? Balldazzling? Nutdazzling? Scrotedazzling? Talk about looking like a dico ball....

What will think of next? More importantly...where can I get this done?

Now that's an anal probe

Now I've heard it all.

I know orgasms can be explosive. Earth shattering even...
I think most people would agree there is a time and place for that kind of enjoyment.
Then I hear this story:

APRIL 19--A California Highway Patrol office was briefly evacuated earlier this month when investigators became concerned that an arrestee might have been carrying a concealed explosive device. When officers collared Steven Ferrini on a drug charge, a search of the 60-year-old suspect turned up "a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch" in his pants pocket. "The wire was found to extend from the pant pocket to the subject's anus," according to a CHP report. Though Ferrini claimed that the wire was connected to an anal vibrator, officers became suspicious when he subsequently "began to explain his knowledge of explosives and bomb making." So they called in El Dorado County's "explosive ordinance disposal" team and, at 5:45 AM, evacuated "all unnecessary personnel" from the CHP's South Lake Tahoe office. At about 9 AM, the bomb squad "rendered the device safe" and determined it was not dangerous. The report does not indicate why more than three hours passed before the vibrator was found not to be an explosive device. "The vibrator was subsequently removed and placed into property,"

I love that:
a) He's 60.
b) He had a wire rigged up to his anal vibrator.

Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Well done there chap. You can't go out for a couple hours without sticking a vibrator up your ass? I pity the fool that had to pull that sucker out.
I guess corn for dinner is out tonight.

It's not what it sounds like...

I don't think people are going to understand. When Mason says "suck it" he's not being rude. He s actually referring to when I told him to suck his freeze not bite it. Apparently it's a fun thing to say. He's been saying it all day.
When the lady at the grocery store said hello to him, he said "suck it."
When daddy told him it was time for a nap, he said "suck it."
I think we need to forget this phrase and go back to be being precious and sweet, and not have people think we are hood rats teaching our kid this.
Oh Mason.

Mason is so sick.
I'm not going into any gory details but it's breaking my heart. I can't make him better. I can't take it away. I wish I could. I wish it would just go away.
Stupid bug. You've done your damage...now just go fuck off please.

Here's a picture of Mason. It's his smile that he gives when you say "smile!"...too cute. At least he doesn't squint up his eyes and throw his head back like most kids. At least not yet. This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it. Love it.

Feel better my sweet boy.

Mommy loves you :)

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Whatever happened to the good ol' days. You know, when kids got paper routes. They would either pull along a wagon filled with the papers, or have them stuffed in an over-sized shoulder bag? You might spot them trudging along under the weight from house to house, or speeding down the street on their bikes tossing them hap-hazzardly onto front porches.
A job, some fresh air and excersise.
I didn't really notice how much things had changed until I spotted our "paper boy" delivering one of the local papers (and the one with all the flyers in it - so the only one that makes it to our table!). This chubby fella was sitting shot gun in his dad's minivan tossing the papers on the ends of the driveways. Not to the door. Not even half way up. Daddio just slows right down and he tosses them out the window while slurping on his slushi. I can't even argue that his arm is getting a workout. I'm sure his dad has spent more on the gas it took to make the route then this kid will ever earn.
What happened to "get a job" and actually doing it yourself? Get out and actually walk the route to deliver the papers. Save the planet. Reduce the emissions for crying out loud!
Why am I so appalled at this?
I'm wondering if it's so out of the ordinary or just something unique to this neighbourhood?
Do me a favour. Watch for your paper "boy." Let me know what you see.
Restore my faith!

Ironic.
I was composing a post about Timmies when I came across Mackey's post "I heart Timmies."


Well...here's my open letter to Timmies (well heck, all the cool kids are doing it!).


Dear Timmies,
I love you. I really do. I am a faithful patron of your coffee house despite not drinking coffee. I'm a tea girl. Don't judge. I spend my hard earned money in your establishments. During this time of year, when you have Roll up the Rim, I probably increase my visits at least 300%. That's a lot of coin. I'm addicted to rolling up the rim. I am.
Well, I've had it.
Could you toss me a fucking bone please? Something. Anything. For the amount of rim I'm rolled I should have a few more wins then 1 coffee and a lousy donut. I don't want the donuts. My ass tries to tell me otherwise, but I have will power. I'd like the money, the car, heck I'll take the Timmies card to help cover the cost of this addiction. Something. Why do you give my brother in law the $100 gift card when he hardly ever goes. Such irony. Son of a bitch.
Now that you hear my complaints, maybe you could do something about it. I feel like I am your bitch. All I am good for is a good ol' roll up the rim job.
Gee thanks.
Love,
Sassy
P.S. It's my birthday today. Something would be nice. Peace.

I went for tea...and saw a tit

Most Sundays, the Sass family goes to a local coffee shop for tea/coffee and a bagel or some other breakfast-type time (sometimes Mason asks for a "fuffin"). It's in the old downtown part of our small town. It's a very long and narrow establishment. Chairs, couches, etc. Think Central Perk from Friends but mush it to be about 10 feet wide and like 200 feet long...paint it in dark purples, blues and yellows and we have our favourite place to go for the java.
This morning was no exception.
It was about 9:30 when we arrived. We ordered our tea and bagels and headed to the back corner. "Our table."
When we went up a short flight of stairs we noticed a couple sitting in the corner on the couches.
No big deal right?
Well...they were making out and her tits were right there on display for everyone to see! I guess she didn't notice us right away because she was too preoccupied with trying to rub one out through her boyfriend's pants.
Eventually they realized we were passing by and started talking really loud. Hmmm..not to obvious there you silly crack whore.
I sent Mr. Sass for a napkin and once he passed them, he looked back and they were at it again because I had my back to them.
Get a room.
Get a backseat of a car.
Get a life.

Who does that at 9:30am in a coffee shop? Or am I getting to be a prude in my old age?

This and that...

I guess it's back into the swing of things at work. Meh. Nothing like dragging your sorry ass out of bed and having to leave a toddler who is sleeping soundly (until 8:30 no less!) with my mom...only to get to work and remember that it's parent teacher interview week. This means a late night on Thursday that will be spent shoveling shit to parents.

On the plus we have been shopping for a car and might have finally found one we both agree on. Stay tuned!

Lastly, I finally got a Wii Fit and am totally excited. I've had my friend's Wii/Wii Fit for months and had to give it back. Now I have my own and was ready to rock it!
Problem.
My darling son was using the remote as a "phone." I saw it sitting on the kitchen table at one point, but where it is now is beyond me.
No Wii Fit tonight.
I need to get a new remote.
If anyone is looking for something to get me, my birthday is next week ;)

Gotta trust a gut feeling...

Sometimes I just get a gut feeling.
And then something happens that kind of confirms my gut feeling.
That something is up.
Something isn't right.
Someone is hurting.
I don't know for sure, but I'm going to trust my gut.

The thing is...I can't do much about it, if it's true.
I can't do much except let this person know I am thinking of them.
That I'm here.
I may not physically be there. But I'm there.
I'm there is spirit.
I'm only a phone call away.
And my boobies are always available for hugs. Always.

I'm rolling in with the tumbleweeds...

Yup. Time flies when you're having fun.
Or not having fun. Whatever the case may be. It's been a little of both around here. Where does time go?
I had so many to things to say during the Olympics..and never tore myself away from them long enough to share them. Now it almost seems pointless to go into it. Instead I'll do a few points of things still floating around re: the Olympics.
- Brilliant games. The best ever! I found myself glued to the tv and watching and learning about sports that I haven't ever cared about before. Take curling for instance! I got hooked. Call me what you want, but I thought it was neat!
- SO proud to be CANADIAN!! I saw our Nation's pride rise and we celebrated and we cheered and we were one. This is not something Canadians as a whole do very well. I am so proud of our athletes and was moved to tears a few times hearing our national anthem.
- Speaking of which - did you like hearing our National anthem so often?! Record breaking!
- Heart breaking for American Hockey fans..HA! Man was I on edge that whole game. Mason learned the phrase "Oh crap!" as a result, but it could have been a lot worse if I said what was really in my head when USA tied it up! I was actually sick to my stomach at times! Amazing.
- I'm saying this now: since one of my friends in now expecting a baby girl and will most likely use my #1 girls name (if I should be lucky enough to ever use it!), I've decided that perhaps I will name her Maelle instead after the snowboarder. I love her name. It's so pretty!

- Ummm....lastly: WE HAVE SOME FUCKING HOT ATHLETES! Sure most of them are way young, but damn! HOT!! There was more then once when I turnded to Mr. Sass and said, "I think I have feelings for him..."

That's enough about the Olmpics!
NO WAIT. One more thing!
- Want to hear Mr. Sass go on the best rant ever?! Talk to him about the brother-sister teams in the figure skating/ice dancing! Pretty weird to be grabbing your sister's crotch while thrusting her in the air...or having her wrap her legs around your waist and stare in each other's eyes...I would get him going each time. It's a little weird I guess. I'm not a skater, so I really could care less.

Enough :)

Work is good.
Weather is getting better.
It's Roll up the Rim time at Timmies and as usual, I barely win anything despite seeing a 300% increase in my visits. My brother in law won a $100 gift card though, on a free coffee no less! I guess they are saving the car for me?
Mason is great. Smart. Really smart. He amazes me with the things he can do. Please scroll down if you don't want to hear me gush about my boy!
He talks non-stop. He can count to 30 and to 10 in French. He says his ABC's and can recognize the letters (except a few he mixes up sometimes) and can tell you a word for each one (D-daddy, N-nana). He's a ham. He has such a wicked sense of humour that I've almost thrown up a few times from him making me laugh. He also has a weird sense of humour. He currently likes to give people "2 volts" where he sticks two fingers in your side, leg, wherever and says "ZZZT!". Warped, but so funny.
I'll have to post some recent pics of him soon..they are still on my camera.
But now I have to go because my beautiful son is calling for "Martin, where are you?!" (That would be Mr. Sass)..and "Mommy Lisa where are you please?!"

Now out to enjoy some awesome weather. Will post soon (famous last words - but I mean it!)

Out of the mouths of children

Brace yourself. This one is a good one.

My grade ones have been singing a song. It's stuck in their head. The other day there were waiting for me while I was talking to another teacher and they were lining up at the door to go in. They started singing. The other teachers remarked at how good they were. They were not only lined up nicely, but look how cute they were singing a song all together while they waited!

I laughed. "Listen to WHAT they are singing. Listen closely my friends."

A choir of 6 year olds were singing:

I get money,
I get paper,
I get girls all different flavors,
I get coochie, I get booty
I spend dolla after dolla

Yup. They were singing about coochie and booty and girls in different flavours. I had no idea about this song or who started singing it, but it was quite hilarious to hear them sing it all the time. I decided to put the kibash on it since I didn't want them going home singing those lyrics. It was so stuck that several of them were humming it while they worked. I asked around to see if anyone knew the song and if there were singing it right....it was stuck in my head too.

I just Googled it. It's not "I get coochie, I get bootie" It's I buy Gucci, I buy Prada!! What a mistake they made! I've been laughing me arse off here for a little while! I guess there will be a lesson tomorrow on the real lyrics and I guess I'll go back to allowing them sing that part over and over...

Brilliant work my darlings. This is why I love you so.

Here's a link to the song: HERE.
Tell me they didn't rip of the beat from that 90's song "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega; Check it HERE (I wouldn't have relized it if it wasn't for my addiction to XM Radio and the 90s channel!)

What's more beautiful then a Lily?

After potentially grossing people out with a description of my latest visit to be waxed...I thought I'd share some more interesting (and less gross) news:

I'm an Aunt again!!

My newest niece was born to my brother and sister in law yesterday after only a couple hours of labour (BITCH). She is the beautiful and amazing Lily Elizabeth!
We've been so worried for them and anyone who knows me, knows the "story" but we are so blessed to have her here and that she's healthy and beautiful. Thank you for my niece T and L!!

Here's a picture of the proud aunt (and her forehead...what was I thinking?!) and Lily:

It's not the greatest picture...but you know more will come!!

The other day I went to get my eyebrows waxed.
The lady waxing them was not my usual lady. She seemed nice enough. Until she got close in to apply the wax and do what these sadists normally do. SHE HAD THE WORST BREATH I have ever smelled. I think her teeth were rotting right out of her head, or she ate a pile of cat shit for lunch.
It was awful.
This is not some hole in the ground place I go to either, that perhaps hired some homeless, ex-prostitute to do the waxing. It's a "you pay way to much and why is it necessary to drink mimosas while you get waxed?" kinda place.
I was appalled.
I should of said something, but I ran out of there as fast as I could.

Maybe I should send in a tube of toothpaste or some mouthwash, or even a business card to a dentist. It was downright nasty.

Yup. An esthetician with severe halitosis gets me to blog again. Life has a funny way of working doesn't it?

Resolutions?

I'm so anti-resolutions, but this year I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Yup. Here I am!!

I've made a few promises of change (aka resolutions):
1. Loose weight. Yeah cliche..I know. Since August I've been working out, so I'm continuing with that and looking closer at my diet. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian..at least part time..more part time then already that is! I think posting a picture of me in a bathingsuit on the fridge should do the trick.
2. Get organized. Tackle the basement. Get rid of shit and hopefully make some plans to get that baby finished!
3. Start the process for another baby since the regular method doesn't work well for us. I still have hope and faith, but we need a back up plan! It's just a matter if I can take all the appointments with a toddler in tow, or if we'll foster/adopt? I've been praying a lot about this and hope to have some insight into what is meant to be.
4. Make sure my desk is clean before I leave work. It sounds silly but when 21 6 and 7 year olds are tossing shit on your desk all day it can be a disaster! It drives me insane!

So there I am. Check back with me and see how I'm doing will ya? I need to be accountable?

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas too, since I haven't been around too much!
We survived the holidays and had a blast in the mean time! It was nice to be off for 2 weeks as usual,but it was even nicer to have Mr. Sass home too. We did lots of things (minds out of the gutters people) and spent lots of time as a family.
Mason had a blast at Christmas - but it was mostly the visiting and the seeing lots of people that he gets a kick out of. His idea of opening presents was ripping a bow off! He opened a few gifts but mostly I opened them if they were from someone other then us. He still has about 6-8 of them here but I don't care when he opens them! It will probably be the last year where he doesn't tear into everything in like 20 minutes! He was quite happy with the few toys he opened. He wanted to play with them right away and I loved that. We played all morning!
I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my younger brother for buying Mason his first drum set. Brilliant! He didn't even have the decency to include some advil! All joking aside, we are having lots of fun with them!
New Years was quiet. We went out for dinner with my family early in the evening and then headed home. Mason went to bed and we watched a movie and had a drink. I actually went to bed around 11:30! Meh.
I hope everyone has a happy healthy new year! All the best for 2010. I'll try not to be so boring!

Time passes so quickly!

I've had so much on my plate lately that it has left little time for anything extra. And when I do have the extra time, sorry to say blog, by Mason gets it.

My baby turned 2.
Can you friggen believe it?! He's two already. Wasn't it just yesterday that I posted his birth announcement? He's growing up right before my eyes.

We had a birthday party for him on the 12th. Lots of people came out and we all had a blast! At one point the kids were all up dancing and soon some of the adults were too. I can't even begin to tell you how much fun we all had, but Mason especially. He got an outdoor playhouse, which is now occupying the living room until the nicer weather. Out with the dining room table, in with the "ding dong house" (it has a door bell so thus he calls it the ding dong house)! The things I don't do for this little monkey!

As you can see in both pictures, Lion (aka "yion" or "yi-yee") is still Mason's best bud. He comes with us everywhere! Thus the Safari theme party we had. I made his cake :) I wasn't too sure what or how I was going to do it, but I wanted to do one without using a cake pan. I was pretty proud of my effort.

A present? Not if you are Mason. This was a springboard for jumping off of. He was having so much fun jumping off of it and crawling all over it that it was almost a shame to open it!

So..that is a very brief update on what has been going on around here!
I'll be back soon...

Happy Birthday My Love

You have given me the best 2 years of my life. I'm so blessed to have you. I'm so thankful that you are my son. You brighten my day every day. I see things differently because I'm experiencing them again through your eyes. You are such a happy, bright little man. I'm so proud of you. I love you with all my heart little goofy. No words can even come close to describing how much I love you.
Happy Birthday Mason.

Thank you.

Sometimes a 6 year old knows best.

I've been testing the reading levels of my grade 1 and 2 students.
I had one little grade 1 girl with me and she was reading a story called "Wake up Father Bear!" The jist of the story is that the mother and baby bear are trying to wake up the father bear, but he won't budge. They finally manage to wake him up.
I know. Thrilling plot line.
Stick with me here.
The students have to answer some questions after and one of them for this particular story was "Why do you think Father bear was teasing mother and baby bear and staying in bed?"
My little gem of a student piped up right away, "Because that lazy bum doesn't want to get out of bed and make breakfast!"

Smart beyond her years I tell ya.

Tea for one...one for tea

Sometimes MOST times a hot tea will fix things. I'm simple like that.
No, not simple in that short bus, window licking kinda way.
I think that a hot cup of tea softens the mood, opens the heart and the mouth and things get accomplished.
A tea mends the heart.
It's my security blanket.
This time, I don't think tea is going to work it's magic. Maybe it's just not knowing what the hell happened. Maybe it's that part of me really doesn't give a damn. Maybe part of me is just so hurt.
I don't know.
So if tea offers comfort then what pray tell offers closure?

Last night Mr. Sass and I are driving into the city for a hot night out with some girlfriends of mine. We are listening to the radio and he's singing along to every song. He suddenly pipes up,

"You know, I don't feel old because they still play all these songs on the radio!"

"Honey, it's a way back play back hour....you old fart."

Lesson learned today: Mr. Sass is old. I AM not.

Change is in the air...

So I've changed things up around here.
What do you think?
I'm not 100% on the name change, but I'm at a loss. I guess all my creative juices have been sucked dry today (oo-er). I'll sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning. Any suggestions are appreciated.
Be honest. Be brutally honest.
I can handle it.

I have a problem...

Seriously.

Any of you who have been hanging around for the last few years know that I have a thing for panties and bras. I know now that it's a borderline addiction.

I cleaned out my drawer of panties and I promise you I'm not exaggerating in the least: I threw out 77 pairs of knickers. Thongs, boy cut, french cut, full backs, lacey, cotton, sequin (don't ask), frilly, fringy, velvet (again - don't ask)...all of them. I must have kept at least double that.

Then it was on to my bras. I'll admit that there aren't quite as many bras as panties, but the gap isn't that big. I tossed over 30 bras and then put a few of my favourites aside. I just can't part with them yet, even though some of them are nothing more then nipple covers.

I accomplished some more space in my drawer, but I can only imagine that it won't be long until I fill it again. The only difference is that my friend S turned me on (oo-er) to proper fitting bras from specialty shops. The girls are much happier since we went for a proper fitting and got some new bras (what can I say? They just aren't the same since having been suckled on, and they much prefer being up where they started as opposed to drooping down to my belly button). The downside is that my drawer will be hosting some quite pricey bras now, so perhaps there won't be quite as many...just more room for panties I guess....or socks. Socks aren't as sexy so I'm open to donations for my new bras...and I'll be happy to post pictures of my sexy new finds ;)

In the meantime, if you are rooting through my garbage looking for something to eat, you'll be sadly disappointed, unless your a knicker sniffer.

Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy.

It hurts to know that a friend is hurting and I can't be there to offer my help and my love. I just hope she knows I'm truly there in spirit with her and her family during this difficult time. My nana used to tell me, that the soul does not perish like the body, but like a flower that withers, the seed remains.

Dearest HippyChic,
No words can take away the pain you are in. There aren't enough hugs to make the hurt go away. Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family. My deepest and most sincere condolences.
All my love.
Sass

A few pictures...

It's been awhile since I have posted pictures of Mason. Feast your eyes on this little turkey.
(See how I'm keeping with a Thanksgiving weekend themed entry?? I'm so bloody clever.)

Mason and I chilling out on the beach a couple weekends ago...now it's bloody cold. What happened?!

Mason riding the train at a local "ribfest"...and being silly.

After a haircut.

Again, this is after a haircut. They cut all my baby's hair off.

My big boy running around at the fall fair.

Mason and his daddy at the fair.

Happy Thanksgiving!

To my Canadian friends that is!

I'm thankful for so many things right now, but let's leave it at I'm thankful that one of my best friends still has her father. He had a sudden heart attack and surgery as a result but seems to be doing well.
So thankful, for so many things.

You won't be thankful for these though:

• Why do turkeys go "gobble, gobble"?
  Because they haven't learned good table manners.

• What do turkeys like to eat on Thanksgiving?
  Nothing, they're already stuffed.

• Why did the turkey eat his meal so quickly?
  Because he was a gobbler.

• How do you make a turkey float?
  Get two scoops of ice cream,
  add some rootbeer and a turkey.

Ha Ha Ha.

"Look Mom I can Read!!"

So teaching first grade has been different in terms of the children being just at the beginning of their reading career. I encourage them to read anything and see if they can recognize any of the words. They think it's great that I tell them to read cereal boxes, and milk cartons, comic books, and just about whatever comes across their path.

Well that bit me in the ass today.

We were walking to the house of worship (aka church...common people stop snickering. I teach at a Catholic school) for our year's first mass (I know I should be thankful for the simple miracle that I don't combust into flames each time I enter). We have to pass a mini plaza. There is a sign at one of the drive ways that says "ENTER".
Some brilliant soul with a marker wrote underneath "If you lick pussy". I noticed it and snickered.

And then it happened.

I heard one of my kids point out the sign. "That says ENTER"....pause..."If you like pus-y"
I couldn't even turn around. I was snickering uncontrollably. I just let it be. I don't think they realized what they had read.

So there you have it folks..out of the mouth of a first grader "Enter if you like pus-y"

My son blames me for his nipples...

It's true.
He likes to play with the medicine dropper in the bathtub. He pops the soft plastic "squeezer" part of and has one of us stick it to his tummy, his arm, his forehead, etc. Really quite amusing. One day I went for gold and stuck in over one of his nipples. He looked down, popped it off and started rubbing his nipples. Yes, it usually leave a little pink circle for a moment, but this time, I think it actually pulled his nipple a bit (bad mommy..but man was it funny). He was rubbing and he looked up at me with a "how could you" look that broke my heart (okay it didn't break my heart, but it made me quiet down my laughing a tad). Now every time he lifts his shirt he plays with his nipples and says "mommy".
Wow. That's wrong on more then one level isn't it?
I wonder how many more ways I'll warp my child?

Again...yippee..woot...woot...insert concern...

I'm going to be an aunt again! This time, it's my older brother and his fiance.
I'm not going to lie: it was a bit of a shock. They are planning a wedding and BOOM next I know it she's pregnant (the wedding is suppose to be 10-10-10). They called right away (I swear they just put down the stick and called everyone they knew) to share the news. Then a few days later she was scheduled for her first ultrasound and I get another call:
"Sass, call me back as soon as possible. I'm freaking out. I'm a bit further long then they thought."
Last time I talked to her they thought 3-4 weeks.
Ultrasound? 18 weeks.
18 fucking weeks. Brilliant. 4 and a half months along. At least she made it through her first trimester right?
I'm genuinely thrilled. I really am. I can't wait to be an aunt again. It's just hard not to be judgmental. I love my brother and his fiance, but he works odd jobs, she's on "disability" (soaking the system if you ask me). They live in a basement apartment (not idea for a baby!) and blah blah blah..I could go on.
But it won't change anything. The baby is coming. Sooner rather then later.
The biggest thing is that they are partiers. She smokes and drinks like a champ and when she's not drinking alcohol, she's drinking like 6 cans of pop a day. Not healthy. Now given that since she's found out she's pregnant, she's stopped drinking pop (and booze obviously) and cut smoking down, trying to quit and is eating really healthy. That's great. She is so excited to be a mom. I don't blame her. It's the best.
But what about the last 4 months? I was at the cottage with them and we had at least a drink every night. I'm so worried for my niece or nephew. I just hope everything is okay.
Please God, please let my darling niece or nephew be okay. I just want him/her to have the best possible life. It's not going to be easy at it is...so who needs added problems?
I'll do anything.
I'll even stop masturbating.
Now you know I'm serious ;)

I fell in love again today...

Sometimes you wonder if the love has faded in your relationship. Then your significant other says something that just proves how your love has grown and matured with time.

Today, Mr. Sass leaned over and said, "I want to stick my tongue deep in your birth canal"

And I complain he doesn't treat me like a real lady. Pffft.

I don't garden.

BUT if I did, I'd for sure grow these babies!!

These are real peppers. They are called Peter Peppers. If you ask me they should be called Peter Peckers. They can grow to be 18" long. WHOA BABY!! I'd like to see you eat it all in one shot.

This is one spicy hot pepper baby!

Jesus. H. Christ.
As Mackey said, it's a little dusty around here. Better pop in eh? I guess I respond to peer pressure too ;)
It's been quiet in Blogland eh? Or is it just me? I really need to change that.
Anyhoo....

Life.
It has been going on. Mason grows like a weed, talks up a storm, runs around like a little mad man, cracking me up everyday. School started on Tuesday and I didn't think it was possible to have my soul sucked from me that quickly. I kid. But wow. I have gone from grade 3, to a 2/3 and now a 1/2 class, but for all intense and purpose, it's a grade one class since I have only 4 grade 2's and 2 of them are on an alternative program so that they can be taught grade 1. I feel sorry for those other 2 kids. Fuck, I feel sorry for myself for having to plan and teach a whole grade 2 program for 2 kids. Oh well. Such is the life of a teacher these days. The grade one is a huge change for me. They are so little and I was SO not used to having to teach them about everything. A simple concept like recess and snack was like a big ordeal and don't even get me started on the whole concept of a desk, sitting at it and what we can put inside it. But man are they cute. I think I'm really going to love it! I was beyond exhausted yesterday night, but my loving husband brought home dinner to save me the trouble :)
Today I got a laugh from one of my little boys. I was greeting them at the door and he stopped and was pouting in front of me. He asked, "But where is Mrs. S...today?" (umm for the dumbasses out there..Mrs. S. would be ME). I realized that I must look pretty different. Yesterday I had my hair bone straight and my contacts in, today it was uber curly and I had my contacts in. I smiled and said, "M, it's me. I'm just wearing glasses today." He wasn't convinced so I took my glasses off and his face lit up and he said "ohhh!!! Hi Mrs. S!!" So fucking cute I could eat him. But I'd loose my job.
I also have one student who I'd like to throw through the wall. No, I'd like to throw his parents through the wall and then toss him and his shit head brother who my friend teaches through after them. They need to lay the smack down and control their kids. He's a pain in the ass. A pain in the ass with a speech impediment too. That makes it a little funny, because a lot of words sounds like "tit"...but really, I feel sorry for the kid, because it's really not ALL his fault that he's a pain in the arse. Oh yeah..and HE was the one last year who was pooing all over the boys bathroom and then smearing it on the walls. Brilliant. He's a poo-artist.
Maybe he thought he as Pablo Poo-casso.
Or that he'd Vincent Van-Gogh-and-then-smear-it-on-the-wall.

What else can I say?
Eat dolphin friendly tuna.

Dear Dad,
It's been 21 years today. 21 long years since you became an angel. My angel. It feels like forever, yet it doesn't feel like that long at all. I was just a kid, but oh how losing you hurt. It still hurts. I feel like I missed out on so much, but also that I was given so much in the 9 years I had you as my dad. We were a team. I knew how special I was to you, and I cherish all those special daddy-daughter times you spent with me. You always made me feel special. You taught me how to be a good parent by always taking the time. You always had time for us. You would have been an awesome papa to Mason, but I know he has a special guardian angel. I know one day we will meet again and I'll feel your strong arms around me and hear you call me "Dolly."
I miss you.
I miss you so much it hurts.
I think of you often and love you always.

You need me? You really need me?

Thatgirl, you are too much, but you inspired me to post none the less!
I've had this picture sitting in my files for a few months now. I came across these little gems in Dollarama (the best place on earth). I did a double take.
Yup.
I saw what I saw.



So I bought one. Okay...I may have bought a few and passed them out at work. Now, ask me where Baby Sass' little wash cloth hangs?
Ohhh it hangs on a rod of sorts....

I've been away at the cottage, but just wanted to say "Happy Anniversary" (6 years!) to Mr. Sass on July 19th. :) Love you babe.

I'm an Aunt!

She's here!
Actually she was born last Thursday, but better late then never!

My beautiful niece: Alison Amy

Mason loved her. I was actually shocked at how interested he is in her. He wants to kiss her and stroke her face. He comes over and just stared at her in such a loving way. He's such a sweetheart, that I'm not going to lie: it brought tears to my eyes.

Here he is: their first meeting. He was so gentle and wanting to kiss her. They are going to have so much fun growing up together.

Just when I need something to perk this place up...Sage shows me this on his blog:

Rules for Isabella Snow's July blog makeover contest! Entering is easy! Just copy and paste this (entire) blurb to your blog (make sure the links still work!) and then email Isabella a link to your blog post. The contest deadline is at midnight GMT July 31. One winner will be selected the following day by a drawing of names; the name will be posted here; and the winner will be emailed, as well. A new, totally original blog will be completed within two weeks of winning. One entry per blog. *Blogger.com customization only*, see the Blogbunnie Blog Design portfolio for layout options.

The ever sexy Autumn won once too! Hers looks excellent as well. Isabella really rocks so you should enter! Or if you don't wanna enter it her up and she will fix you up without the wait!!!


So I may try to do a few changes myself, but you all know that apparently this is one area that I am so fricken limited in...so why not enter and hope that my name is drawn?! Toss this bitch a bone! Have you seen her blog templates? Holy frig. Like Holy fuckity fuck fuck frig! Check them out.
Thanks to everyone who gave me suggestions...save links, change a colour or 2, more boobs...got it. All noted.
On that note, my offspring has decided that napping is for chumps so I am off. Behave.

Fuck - Maybe if I changed things up around this here blog, I'd feel better. It's been like this for years now. You know when you get sick of looking at something, even know you love being there? Then you change the furniture around, hang up a few pictures, maybe slap some paint up, and it's 100% new and exciting again? That's what I need around here.
Any suggestions?