It's not a downer..I promise!

So we're suppose to get lots of snow this evening. I have to confess: I like the snow. Let me clarify. I like it when it snows and everything is all white and pretty. I like it from inside the house. I like it when I don't have to shovel it or freeze my ass off in it. I like the anticipation of the snow coming. I LOVE the fact that we just got a snowblower, so A) I'm not shovelling any large amounts of snow anymore and B) Mr. Sass will have an easier time. We do live in the snowbelt, so it will come in handy!

Yesterday, a bunch of my CLOSEST girls, our husbands, and kids (those of us who have them that is!) went to "Crunchy" Christmas....it's actually Christmas in the Country...but it's a long story. Jules brought out the antlers for the ladies. The boys had their own Christmas balls i guess, but they were tucked away ;)

It was really beautiful. The lights, the sounds of carols, the smell of fire and apple cider cooking in a big pot over the fire...mmmm. We went for a nice hay ride too. Next year I can only imagine that we'll be chasing the little ones all around and it will be that much more fun!

Me and my girls. The ones that are here for me no matter what. The ones who pull me out of my funk. The ones that I laugh with, the ones I cry with. My sisters :) (**see the one in the blue coat (beside the giant marshmallow)...she's making us aunties again!! **)


My boys: My life. You can actually see Mason's top teeth in this picture.

So yeah.
I can't help but feel like you are avoiding me.
That's okay. I tried. I don't know what I did, or if it's just that my "life" is so different then yours now, that you don't feel we connect anymore. Who knows.
Doesn't stop me from feeling bummed about it.

Buzz buzz went the little fuzzy bee

I had another "feed the bees" moment the other day. I was walking around the kitchen floor and my one foot kept feeling sticky spots. I was miffed because I had just scrubbed the damn thing the day before. However, when you see the mess my son makes, you can understand why it's not such a long shot that my floor is sticky. Again. Any mom would know. So when Mason is napping, I pull out the scrub brush and go at it again (oo-er). He gets up and I start to feed him lunch. I am STILL feeling sticky parts. I wanted to blame the little monkey, but it's not his fault. I pull out scrub brush and get on my hands and knees and spot scrub the spots that feel sticky. I sit down with Mason and cross my legs and see it.

I have a hole in my sock.

Nothing like spending all that time and energy washing your floors repeatedly when all you need is a new pair of socks.

Go feed the bees Sassy.

Thank you Mackey for checking up on me. I'm here. I've been reading blogs, but I just don't have the heart to blog for myself this week. Things have been kind of shitty. I don't always want to be a downer, so I've avoided blogging. Besides, I have nothing really to blog about, besides the lovely snow that keeps coming. Exciting eh?

I'll try. I promise.
Right now all I want to do is be alone. Sorry.

Bees and cookies....

I consider myself an intelligent person. However, sometimes I say something sooo stupid you have to wonder. It's usually these times that whatever it was that I said will be thrown back at me for a long time to come. For example, a couple of weeks ago we were on our way to a friend's house. Driving through the country, I was looking at all the houses, and farms and admiring the scenery. I saw a farm who clearly raised/farmed (?!) bees. Having the insane fear of bees in me, I shuddered and said, "I like honey and all, but I just don't get why anyone would want to have bees." The husband takes this opportunity to tell me he'd have a bee farm. (side note: I swear he only says this shit because I wouldn't want it. Anything I hate, he loves, anything I don't want, he wants...etc). Deciding to take a jab at his serious problem of not being able to get out of bed in the morning for work, I say "Oh really? YOU want to be a farmer now? A bee farmer? Remember how you don't do mornings? How do you expect to be a farmer? You wouldn't even get out of bed to feed the bees!"

Yup: Feed the bees.

He says, "you didn't just say I'd have to feed the bees did you?" It took me a moment (okay a couple of moments) to realize what I had said. Now whenever I do or say something silly/stupid he tells me "Go feed the bees!" Frig. What can I say? Sometimes the porch light is on, but no one is home.

On a side note, I'm participating in a virtual cookie exchange over at Another Suburbans Mom's place! No...not that kind of cookie! Real cookies you can eat (nooo still not that kind of cookie!) and have to bake. I'm looking forward to trying some new recipes for Christmas, and having other people get fatter asses and it not just be me. Check her out for more details!!

So Mason had his first trip to the ER yesterday. *sigh*
Nothing major, but the friggen walk-in clinic doesn't open until Thursday in this one horse town and instead of driving to my family doctor 30 min away, I thought the ER might be quicker. To make a very long story short, my little guy managed to scratch his cornea with his nail. I trim them short, but apparently one got away on me. Poor little guy was so off yesterday and obviously in pain. He wouldn't really open his eyes unless he was distracted with toys and then it was continually running. He was a trooper at the hospital while they put dye in his eye and checked him out. He was wiped after though. I was wiped too to be honest.
Then to top everything off, we had to go meet with the lady who will most likely be babysitting him when I go back to work (3.5 weeks folks!). It was a good visit, and he was mostly his usual self, but the poor gaffer was so tired.

There will be no swearing barrage today.

Spilling tea causes swearing..a lot of it.

So today I spilled my tea. It was in the cup holder of the stroller. I had just put Mason in the carseat and went to fold the stroller up. I forgot it was there and flipped it over, spilling tea all over the stroller and my pants.
BRILLIANT. The best part? I got in the car and cried. Yeah, I cried over spilled tea. Sure, it was a good tea, but it's just tea. It wasn't the tea I was upset about. I just can't explain it. I feel so helpless. Argh, I hate feeling like this.

Maybe a good barrage of swear words would make me feel better. Plug your eyes if you are offended. You've been warned:

FUCK SHIT DAMN HELL FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK CUNT BITCH SHIT ASS WHORE MOTHER FUCKER FUCKING CUNT SCAB ASSHOLE DIPSHIT CUM-DUMPSTER SLUT DOUCHE BAG DAMN FUCKING RAGING SHITFIRE COCK SUCKING DITCHPIG PUSSY FART HEAD SMELLY ASSHOLE PUSSY FUCKWAD ASSHAT DIPSHIT MOTHERFUCKERING ASSFUCKING TITTIE FUCKFACE TWAT BALLS.

*sigh* Okay, I giggled a lot writting that. Who says swearing isn't theraputic??

I do have things to post for once, but I'm not in the mood. I've been kind of down lately. In a funk and I can't shake it. I feel disconnected. Sad. Shitty. Meh. I can't really describe it. Time is flying by so fast and I can't find the pause button.
I have to back to work soon and I'm having a lot of anxiety over it. Just thinking of it makes me sick and tears well up. I hate it.
I hate myself right now too. I'm not happy. I don't like what I see. I'm not normally the "debbie downer" but for now, I am. I feel like my life is out of control and I can't fix it.

Sorry to be such a bummer. I'll be back. The real me that is...just don't know when. I guess I just wanted to vent..or put it on "paper"..to see if I feel better.
Notsomuch.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I'm wierd.

And deranged, and a few bricks short of a load at times.
Sarah gave me the award:
Now just to prove that I'm weird I have to post 7 more odd things about me. I've done this a few times now, so I guess it's just proving there are a lot of oddities about me...

1. My "baby" toes are very small and practically have no nail on them. There is hardly anything to paint.
2. I'll only really eat bananas if they are crunchy.
3. I've eaten frogs, snails, sheep brains, and horse. I'm sure I've eaten some other funky stuff, but I can't think of it now...
4. My underwear MUST have their own drawer. It's sacrilegious to make them share with socks.
5. I'm very ritualistic in the order that I shower in (ie: how I wash, get ready, etc)...if I fuck it up some way, it throws me completely off. I feel off all day.
6. I always have some silly kids song stuck in my head and will burst out singing it....it's even worse now that I actually have a child of my own!
7. When I need to "use the ladies room" (take a piss if you will), I'll most likely run upstairs and not use the one down here. We have 3 bathrooms in the house, and yet I use only one of them, unless it's an emergency.

So there you go...

Happy Halloween!

Mason's first Halloween!

We hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween!

...and happy birthday to my big brother! He's old.

A new perspective HNT

I don't really have a nice picture of me in my new glasses. Mr. Sass and I snapped this one before we went to a party last weekend, but then I forgot my camera so there are no more. Not really the whole seductive, naughty teacher look at all. I'll have to work on it. Hmmm...step one may be to loose the turtleneck! It was damn cold okay? Back off!

Maybe next week I'll have a more sultry picture of me in them..or at least one where I don't look like a drowned rat. Oh and I have new sunglasses too :)

If you can't see them: You can find them here.
My sunglasses are here. But you'll have to stay tuned for a picture of those ones =P

Don't judge..my hair is soaking wet still...argh. You people are lucky I love you...cuz I hate this picture!

Update...

Sorry folks no glasses picture yet. You have to wait for HNT =P

I thought I'd share with you an update of my friend's baby girl Mea. She's home and doing well. The stents and the medication she is on is allowing her to get bigger and stronger! We'll see how much time this buys her, but the important thing is she's doing well and is precious.
Thanks for the positive thoughts and prayers for her!

A few pics:

Mea with her big brothers

In the hospital

Ready for Halloween!

I've been laying a little low these days...things have been busy around here! My father in law just got his second hip replacement surgery.

I had an eye appointment awhile back and got in shit for wearing my contacts so often and for so long. My eyes have been really irritated lately too. End result is that I have to wear my glasses for at least 2 weeks and then take it easy with the contacts. Anyone who knows me, knows that I loathe wearing glasses. I feel like such a dork. I can't get used to them at all. I hate sunglasses too (except to hold back my hair of course). I needed a new prescription, so my loving and dear husband went with me. I don't wish glasses shopping with me on my worst enemy. It's a long and horrific process where I am indecisive and whiny. We got the job done, and I can say I'm actually happy. I think I'll actually wear my new glasses with pleasure. I don't think I look like a complete dork (side note..I love glasses on other people, just not me!) and the bonus was that they were having a 2 for 1 sale so I got sunglasses too. Yipee. If I get the courage, I'll actually post a picture. However, if someone says I look dorky I'll probably crumble and never leave the house again. HA! I was going more for the naughty librarian/sexy teacher look....

Big news too!! Mason has officially graduated from the "backwards only" crawling club! He's in full throttle forward motion now! Watch out baby!!

So that's where I am now.

I'm no fucking rat

I'm like a slacking slacker on slacker pills these days!

Thanks to everyone who commented on the Blog Action day post on Poverty. Education is just the start. I really do hope it's inspired something within each person to do something. Even the small things matter. In addition to doing good, I really do believe in good Karma...and what goes around comes around.

It did remind me of a story about a homeless guy though.
When we were growing up, my family would often go spend the day in Toronto. My mom and aunt always made a point of helping someone homeless out, either with change or food, or something. One time she let my brother, an exchange student who was living with us, and myself get strips of our hair dyed in funky colours by some street youth. It was awesome. Anyways, often when we would stop for dinner, they would order an extra meal to go and then throw in a couple bucks and give it to some homeless person we passed. We were also known to bring a few extra sandwiches with us to give away.

Advance a few (a lot) years and you have my current group of close girlfriends. We were going to the city to watch the Santa Clause parade. I had told them what we use to do and we decided we'd bring along some sandwiches. We all made a few. My friend Jules, being a vegetarian made some sexy cheese sandwiches (we're not talking Kraft singles here). After the parade, we were walking around and we saw a homeless man with his shopping cart hanging around in the park. We urged her to go talk to him. To say hello and see if he was hungry. She ventures over, a little uneasy. **As a side note, we've always had positive experiences with homeless people. You can tell the ones who want help and the ones who prefer to be left alone. ** Anyways, she talks to the guy and offers the sandwich up. He says "what kind is it?" Jules is proud of her cheese sandwich, since as she put it "It's what I'd want!" The dude looks at her and says "I'm no fucking rat. Why would I want a cheese sandwich?" and with that poor Jules walks back to us. Hahahaha. First time trying to help someone in this manner and she gets cussed out.
Brilliant.
At least she tried.

Blog Action Day 2008

Today thousands in the blog community around the world unite to discuss one topic: Poverty in hopes to raise awareness. More HERE

Back in high school I got an "in your face" lesson of poverty that forever changed how I looked at poverty and so called "poor" people. Naive, I thought poverty was simply defined as those who did not have the necessities of life. That poverty was strictly confined to those "bums" I saw on the street, or of the sad commercials of third world countries with children dying of hunger. The images of their sunken eyes and bloated bellies pulling at the heart strings of thousands, more fortunate then they, to pick up the phone and help. I didn't realize that another face of poverty was closer to home.

Her name was Martha.
She and I had become good friends. Our friendship really only consisted of hanging out at school and taking walks and talking. We occasionally went to the mall, but it wasn't her favourite thing to do. We would sit and discuss books and life. We'd spent hours talking. She was smart. Really intelligent. She made me think of things I had never thought of before. She was always at school before me, waiting. It wasn't until some time later that through a series of events, I found out her situation. I was friends with her brother. In fact it was through him that I met her. He loved his sister and it was obvious. I would see him bring her things, but didn't think anything of it, beyond, "my brothers would never think to do that for me." To make a long and very sad story short, Martha was homeless. Her parents had split years before and the brother stayed with the father. He didn't "want" his daughter and so she was forced to stay with the mother, who suffered from serious mental illnesses. She spent a lot of time in shelters, low income housing and even living in a car for a short time. Her mother was very unstable and she never knew where they would end up or when she would eat again. Shortly after, her mother was institutionalized (and then shortly after passed away) and she was left on her own. Her brother came to me, pouring out his heart, scared for his sister: "What can you do to help?"

What can you do to help?

Have you asked yourself that lately? Do you turn a blind eye at the homeless man on the street? Do you walk past the empty Food Bank barrels thinking "next time?". Do you turn the channel when those commercials for third world aide come on?

There are different faces to poverty. I think most people are most accustomed to the severe cases we see on tv. What about those who are working, but are still living below the poverty line? Those who have jobs and homes, but their cupboards are empty? As a teacher, it's scary to see just how many kids come to school hungry, and from homes who are living one pay check away from being on the streets. Because of Martha and her brother, I'm constantly asking myself "what can I do?"
Sure, it's only one person and what difference in the grand scheme of things can it make? A big difference. At least to the one person you help. Imagine if everyone would take a minute and ask themselves what they can do to help eradicate poverty. They say it can be done in our life time. Ask yourself now: what can you do?

What about Martha you ask? What happened to her?
My mother taught me what it means to answer that question "what can I do?" She reorganized the household and took her in. Never mind that she was a single mother with 3 kids. Our situation was not bad though. She had room in her home for one more. She gave Martha that home she deserved, even though it was only for a short time. She moved on to go live with a relative in another country. Sometimes people come into our life to teach us lessons. Lessons we'll never forget. Lessons that will plant the seeds for later action.

The quote "To the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world" drives me in my daily actions and decisions. Everyone can make a difference. How are you going to make a difference?

Gobble gobble...gobbily goop...and BOOBS

Thanksgiving weekend..come and gone. We were so busy visiting family and enjoying their company. For the most part everything went smoothly. Mason was a trooper with all of the travelling, people and noise. My brother in law managed to get a pretty serious burn on his foot when he spilled hot grease from the turkey on his foot. Ouch. Sadly, he and his SO left back to Alberta and won't be out for some time. Not even at Christmas. We're bummed at that. We had a little fun with taking some pictures of Mason in the leaves too.

I also managed to get some boobs and moobs shots for G-Man and Mackey who are donating cold hard cash to breast cancer research for every set they receive. Go check them out for the full details, or just snap away and send Moobs to Mackey at mac19694u2@hotmail.com and boobs to G-man at scott@zgionline.com.

The boy in the leaves:



Also, if anyone is interested, tomorrow is Blog Action day. The topic is poverty. You can get the low-down on it HERE. It's an awesome idea and hey..no one will have to suffer from bloggers block tomorrow!

Oh! And today is Federal Election day here in Canada! If you are Canadian and registered to vote....GO VOTE. Funny how we can run a federal election and have it be done with in about a month. How long has it been going on south of us?!?! Jesus.

Tagged

Tagged by Jennybean:

Although I did just do another 100 list...I think I can muster up 7 more things eh!

Sooo...if you already know this about me, deal with it and move on.

1. I'm afraid of ET and bees. A common known fact though.
2. I worry about vaginal elasticity. Seriously.
3. My elbows are double jointed and I can actually "knock" the bones together to make a clicking noise. It makes some people gag and others cheer.
4. I've never had silk pjs or silk sheets. I wonder what I'm missing....
5. When I stir a pot I have to stir clockwise. I just can't do it counter clockwise.
6. I won't go into the basement at night alone. I think it stems back to when I was a child and my older brother would hide behind the stairs as I came down (they had open backs obviously) and grab my legs as I came down. What an ass.
7. I'm a pear.

Toque? HNT answer :)

A toque?
Sage?!
Are you serious? I'm pretty sure I've been through this before....

A toque is the quintessential piece of clothing around these parts from anytime around now until like March. Jesus. You have to keep your head warm some way. I know us back bacon, beaver loving Canadians have funny names for things, so I guess you'll be forgiven. This time.

An HNT dedicated to you Sage, and my love of the toque.

..and mitts too.

Boy has my life changed...

On the weekend, we had the reception for my brother-in-law's recent wedding. He got married on a beach and this was the party for the family and friends. Family has flown in from across Canada to join in the fun. My in-laws had a house full of wild relatives and it's been non-stop since they've arrived.

Mason was home with my mom watching him for the night. Usually we party it up pretty hard. This time? Notsomuch.

It was only after the reception that I tool inventory of the evening and realized how my life has changed:

We left the party early and sober. We left with the grandparents for pete's sake! We drove them back to the house, where it was my job to help the grandmother take off her undercrackers.

Let's recap shall we? Left early. Sober. Stripped his grandmother of her knickers.

Jealous?

At least I get brownie points for being a good daughter in law right? I'm sure the nightmares will end soon enough....

Update..again!

The surgery is off for now. Instead they are going to put heart stents in which will buy her some more time to grow bigger and stronger. The doctors have decided that this, along with her medication will suffice until then. It was a last minute decision after some final tests. They do this procedure tomorrow. I'm not sure how long it will be after the procedure until they can finally take her home though. The thinking is that within 2-5 months depending on how she is doing, and how strong she is, they will do a complete repair at that time.

One step at a time....

Little Angel update.

Awhile ago I shared with you about my friend's baby girl Mea (she's since decided to drop the 'h' from her name). She was transfered to Sick Kids hospital in Toronto. She underwent a series of tests and has been a little trooper through it all. Tomorrow she will undergo open heart surgery at 13 days old, to try to fix her heart. She can't wait any longer. I know the BEST doctors will be with her and she has so many people rooting for her.

Please keep her in mind, and send your good thoughts and prayers. Tomorrow is a big day for such a little soul.

100 more things

I decided to try to do another 100 things about me list. I figure I can ramble long enough to come up with 100 more things, and some things on my list from before really need to be updated.

So here goes:

1. Crumbs in the cutlery drawer annoy the fuck out of me.
2. I'm pretty random. Just look at #1.
3. My toe nails must be painted at all times. No matter the time of year.
4. My usual colour of choice? Whore Red or a deep purple.
5. I've met 4 bloggers now.
6. I still can't keep a plant alive to save my life.
7. The toilet paper must fall from the outside, not from the back.
8. I prefer to be shaved almost bare.
9. But my leg hair barely grows, so I rarely shave there.
10. Ditto for my pits.
11. Too much information?
12. I'm afraid of heights.
13. I'm no longer in the care of an infertility doctor. Although my file is "on ice," should we have to go back.
14. I'm hoping we don't have to.
15. Somehow I think we will though.
16. Is that pessimistic?
17. Or just realistic?
18. I swear a lot.
19. A LOT.
20. fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck
21. I love Bones.
22. Am I referring to the tv show?
23. Or something entirely different?
24. The best thing that has ever happened to me is my son.
25. I still get all weepy when I think about how much I love him, and how much he means to me.
26. Damn fucking hormones.
27. Mr. Sass is still trying to buy me a horse...he's relentless at trying to get what he wants.
28. Mr. Sass is anal about keeping the CDs in alphabetical order.
29. That point is not about me, but it's important. I owe you one.
30. To piss him off I'll randomly switch a few CDs and casually mention that I've done it.
31. I stand by and laugh my ass off at his anxiety over finding which ones they are.
32. Sometimes I've haven't actually touched any...muhahaha.
33. I can't sleep with socks on.
34. I'll be the big 3-0 this March.
35. I had a pet bunny as a kid.
36. His name was Nasty.
36. I find farts funny.
37. Dutch ovens, however, are not.
38. Unless I do it.
39. I'm a total tea drinker.
40. I'm no turd when it comes to cars.
41. That's what I get for being with Mr. Sass for about 15 years.
42. I've impressed many a guy with my knowledge.
43. Scared a few too.
44. Maybe it wasn't my knowledge that scared them....
45. I over use the exclamation mark
46. and periods..........
47. I find the word "spackle" hilarious.
48. And handcuffs.
49. I like to help people.
50. I'm half way done, so I thought I'd celebrate.
51. I just got lucky.
52. I gave Mr. Sass a "semen sanchez".
53. He didn't see it cumming. LOL
54. I think it's fucking funny.
55. I guess I'm immature too.
56. Speaking of immature, I have a Webkinz chicken named Sammy.
57. I prefer to think that I'm young at heart.
58. I like doing laundry.
59. I like loading the dishwasher, but not unloading it.
60. It's like Tetris...it really is a talent to pile the dishes in and still have them come out clean.
61. Dog's wife Beth has tits that amaze me.
62. I have to make a comment about them every time we watch the show.
63. She must have nipples the size of dinner plates.
64. All the houses I've lived in have had double numbers: 66, 44, 55.
65. I picked our last lot just because it would fall as a double number.
66. I'm addicted to a game called Dutch Blitz.
67. My husband's Mennonite family got me onto it years ago.
68. I'm really competitive at it. Scary competitive.
69. Is an excellent position.
70. Broccoli, cauliflower and Kraft dinner all smell like feet.
71. So does Asparagus.
72. But I'll still eat them.
73. I prefer to shower in the morning.
74. It's been hard adjusting to not just getting up and jumping in the shower, since my boy came along.
75. He doesn't seem to mind my 'fro or glasses.
76. Then again, he likes to vomit on me so I guess he can't be too picky.
77. I've read one of my favourite books (actually a series) at least 10 times.
78. This year.
79. Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging.
80. I wish I had more time to cook.
81. Once a month I wish death upon Aunt Flo.
82. After about 5 days I get over it though.
83. I worry a lot about the future.
84. And money.
85. I like the idea of hats, but I don't think I suit them.
86. The only kind of "hat" I wear is a riding helmet.
87. Oh!! And a toque. Shit it gets cold here!
88. When it's that cold, I don't give a shit what I look like as long as my head is warm.
89. I've seriously considered becoming a vegetarian.
90. Unless Mr. Sass changes, I'm not doing it.
91. I'm not a friggen short order chef and I'm not making 2 meals. He needs meat. I do not.
92. I love roses and gerbras.
93. I miss my best friend.
94. I've become super close with my mom since having my own baby.
95. I'm hoping she'll forget about my teen years....
96. Did I ever tell you I got grounded for life?! hehe Yeah...who hasn't?
97. I want more piercings!
98. Still a chicken to get a tattoo...but still want one :)
99. Did anyone notice I skipped some numbers? LOL
100. How many of you went to look? I fooled you.
101. I make good one debts. See? I told you I owed you one. Here it is. No returns.

We all sick of me yet? I am.

Dumb ass things I did as a kid - Part 2

A change of pace is needed. First, little Meah has been moved to Sick Kids in TO and is stable. She had a bunch of tests today and is possibly going to have surgery later this week. So much for waiting until she is 3 weeks old. A decision will be made within the next day or so, once the results from her scans today are viewed. Thanks to everyone for their positive words, thoughts, and prayers.

So...on to my dumbassedness. So last time I told you how I loved myself so much I kissed my reflection in a hot toaster and burned my lips. Not this smartest peanut in the turd my friends. This time, it's a practical joke gone wrong.
I loved to play jokes on my brothers. I guess it was my way of getting them back for the duffing up I got from them. This particular time, I decided I would stretch a piece of seranwrap over the toilet bowl so that when one of those boneheads would come in to pee, it would bounce back up at them and get pee everywhere.
I strategically placed the seranwrap over the toilet and pulled it tight so you couldn't see really see it. I then ran outside to play with my cousin. I guess it was one too many lemonades because I came racing in to use the bathroom and forgot what I had done. I pissed onto the seranwrap and it shot back up at me, all over my ass. I was so shocked and pissed (haha pun intended) at what had happened that I jumped up, continuing to piss all over myself, my knickers, and the floor. My mom came running to see what had happened...and I had to tell her what I did. So instead of getting those buggars for decapitating all my Barbies and hanging them from ropes from my bedroom ceiling, I was stuck inside on a perfect summer day, cleaning piss up from the bathroom floor.

Little Angel

My friend called yesterday. She and her "husband" just had their third child. They have 2 beautiful boys and now a little girl. Her name is Meah. With her first son, she was group B strep positive but didn't know it. It almost killed her son. He was sooo sick. The second was okay, and they treated him in time before she delivered. This time she tested positive again. She has insanely fast labour and deliveries (bitch). She's always had her babies early too. This time they wanted to get the antibiotics in her, then induce her, expecting a very quick delivery. They did that. Meah was born within 45 minutes of her mom being induced. They beat this group B strep only to be bitch slapped.

Little Meah is very sick. She not only has a bad lung infection (possibly something to do with the group B strep), she has some heart problems (I can't remember what she called it), where her heart isn't oxygenating her blood properly. She was rushed from one hospital to McMaster and will be moved to Sick Kids in Toronto possibly tomorrow. She's stable now, but needs surgery to fix her tint heart. She's already a fighter. She's pitched a few fits and throws her pacifier out of the isolet as soon as someone opens it (that's soooo her mom!).

I can't imagine how her mom feels. She was in tears on the phone trying to tell me. All we ever want is a healthy baby. I'm so thankful that I've been given that. It really made me hug my boy closer and thank God for what I've been given.

I feel so helpless and not sure what I can do. We plan to go visit soon. I guess all we can do is be supportive and let them know we are here if they need us.



Please send good thoughts, prayers, juju, whatever way you roll.
This tiny little miracle needs it.

It snot cool.

MIA - I wish two things:
1) that it was truly missing in "action" which would mean I was away because I was having crazy sex with Mr. Sass and suffering from absolute exhaustion, therefore not able to muster enough strength to type some bullshit out.

2) Something worthy of blogging has happened. Alas, it has been the same old, same old around here, with a dash of wicked weather to keep me outside!

Mason and I did go swimming today, and although I didn't see my short bus tuna friend, I was grossed out of the pool. I take him in the "leisure pool" which is warmer and not as deep, has kids toys available and fun fountains spraying water everywhere. It's mostly kids and their parents in there, and a few elderly people sitting on the side with the jets and bench...anyhoo.... Today this man (40-50s) was walking around the leisure pool and he had a big greener hanging out of his nose. He was just doing laps and staring at people with this big string of snot hanging down. I wondered if I should tell him (I would after all, appreciate someone pointing out to me if I had boogers on my face...) and then I thought...why is he in the leisure pool anyway. Is he some kind of pedophile with a camera lurking somewhere in his trousers?

In the end I was gagging at the sight of snot (can't stand snot on adults..don't get me started) so much that poor little Mason and I uped and left. We were close to prune state anyway.
I'm really wondering about the people in this town....

This chicken needs a chokin'!

The other day I went into the school to see the kids and sort some "issues" that have arisen before I have to go back (argh!). I also did a lot of visiting. Once I was spotted I found myself making promises that Mason and I would come see them in their classes. We made good on our promises and did a little tour.
In the other grade 3 classroom, there were some of my grade 2's from my 2/3 class last year. It was nice to see them and hear that they missed me. However, one of the little darlings piped up and said, "I almost forgot about you!"
Thanks, I'm glad I made such an impact on your life you little turd! hehe

Not too long after Mason was a getting a little unsure of all these kids, so I passed him his stuffed chicken we got on our trip (a long story as to why he has a chicken...). He immediately smiled and started waving it around. He had him by the neck. The kids were laughing (cuz he's sheer cuteness folks). Suddenly, one of them pipes up, "Miss! He's choking his chicken!"
It was said in pure innocence. Their teacher and I of course are laughing are twats off.
God I love when kids say funny shit and they don't realize it's funny.
I almost miss that enough to want to go back to work.

Sad

I'm in a funk.
I've been in a funk since yesterday. I went with my mom and the baby to see my grandfather. He's in a nursing home now. It always shocks me to see him. This time, I nearly burst into tears. He looks awful. So frail, so pale, and not happy. When asked what he wanted he just said "health." He's confused and uncomfortable. He did smile at Mason and laughed at the things he did. He stared at him and reached out to touch him. He was actually content seeing him. He asked questions about him (although at times he's hard to understand). I felt so sad watching him reach a finger out to Mason. I felt like he was taking time to see his great grandson, like it would be his last. Like a loon I grabbed the camera and started taking some pictures (I always do), but this time I made sure there were lots. I think in part I needed to do something or I'd start crying. Maybe I shouldn't be pessimistic, but I can't shake the feeling that our time is severely limited. Years ago at age nine, I remember thinking "smile for this picture with dad, it could be your last." What friggen 9 year old thinks like that?
Well it was our last. I'll never forget that feeling of knowing.
I won't ignore it.
I don't get the complete impression that he's leaving us so soon, but I know things are taking a turn for the worse. I need to enjoy the time I have left and make memories and share stories with my boy.
I just feel so sad.

Tagged by Mackey!! It's been awhile since I've been tagged, so I'm happy to oblige :)
The Rules:

Answer the questions using only one word.

Then tag four others.


1. Where is your cell phone? Charging
2. Your significant other? Snoring
3. Your hair? frizzball
4. Your mother? friend
5. Your father? missed
6. Your favorite thing? horses
7. Your dream last night? fucked
8 Your favorite drink? tea
9. Your dream/goal? kids!!
10. The room you’re in? family
11. Your hobby? riding (*tee hee*)
12. Your fear? alone
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? retired!
14. What you’re not? stupid
15. Muffins? lemon
16. One of your wish list items? horse
17. Where you grew up? Brampton
18. The last thing you did? drink
19. What are you wearing? panties
20. Favorite gadget? buzzzzzzzz
21. Your pets? dog
22. Your computer? new
23. Your mood? sad
24. Missing someone? yes
25. Your car? sweet
26. Something you’re not wearing? shirt
27. Favorite store? Beer
28. Like someone? yes
29. Your favorite color? purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday

I tag the first 4 who come by AND want to play.

I'd just like to thank the half-wit who came to my door this afternoon for throwing this household into a loop. I don't normally answer my door unless I am expecting someone. The car is parked in the garage and it's during the day so let's assume no one's home and go away okay? I don't have time for you and whatever sales pitch you have.

Not you though.

You rang and rang, and after each ring proceeded to knock on the window. You know, most people pick one or the other. Most people may only ring once or twice for that matter. Then they get the hint and move on. I really did think that maybe it was some 6 year old who hadn't learned doorbell etiquette yet. Or maybe even some emergency. Perhaps you were being chased by a pack of murderers, or were experiencing chest pains and couldn't quite make it across the street to the hospital. Except I saw your middle age lard ass lumbering away to the next house carrying a clipboard. You either belong to the heating and air conditioning truck parked up the street or the car with the liberal candidate's campaign signs all over it. Either way, you are shit out of luck.
After you disturbed my lunch, woke my son, and caused my over-protective dog to start growling and barking at the door, all peace and quiet was lost.

Thank you. I look forward to a few minutes of peace and quiet and you ruined that. I'm slowly regaining order in my house and settling a baby who really wants to nap, but was rudely awakened by your repeated ringing and knocking. Brilliant.

I just want to know, was it really necessary to ring and knock like that? Jesus.

Peace out fucker.

Bukaki???

The husband and I were sitting around the other night when I got a fit of the giggles. He stares at me and asks "what now?"
I was remembering an incident...

Did I ever tell you my bukaki story?

Eaaaasy boys. It's not what it seems.

You see, I was listening to my favourite radio station and one of the morning hosts said something about "diarrhea bukaki" (replace the usual bukaki fluid with diarrhea, and you have diarrhea bukaki). I wasn't really paying attention but, I found the word funny.
I repeated it. A lot.
In the car.
In the grocery store.
At our parents' houses.
Out to dinner.
Randomly while walking through the mall.
You get the idea.
I'd say it and giggle.

I didn't know what it meant. The husband did, but never told me. I just thought it was friggen funny. Finally, he asked "do you even know what that means?|" I had to google it. I didn't ever imagine it was bad because I had heard it on the radio. Then he reminded me of the type of radio stations I listen to...point taken.

Me the queen of all sex terms and things taboo, had no idea what bukaki was, let alone diarrhea bukaki!
Then I thought of all the places I was randomly saying "diarrhea bukaki" like I had Turette syndrome.
I don't know what reminded me of it last night, but it's renewed the tick of randomly saying it. This time it's just around to the house.

More turtle sex...

Just for Jobthingy...since I have a feeling she'll enjoy it as much as I did. It's pretty crappy sound quality since it was so busy in this area. It's also a short video even though the turtle on the bottom tries to walk away. They go back at it again. You'll have to take my word for it. However, by this point, Mr. Sass had dragged me away, slightly embarrassed at my gawking. I think he was worried if he watched it he'd get all turned on and have to bend me over the turtle display and show those damn turtles how it's done! For the record, I wasn't the only one snickering like a 9 year old. I may have been the only one videotaping though....




Yup - 14 seconds of shitty turtle sex. You'll never get those 14 seconds of your life back.

Don't worry thatgirl, it's not loud, you can click it, but I guess it will make those evil memories of your turtle sex experience come back. To make you feel better, I took this picture for you:

Part 2 of the whole vacation low-down (AKA Turtle fucking highlights)

First - I totally took Jobthingy's idea and called the Wal-mart where stupid, fat ditchpig whore works and filed a complaint. Apparently it's not the first tome someone has complained about her. Rest assured that I will be making a few more calls as "other" shoppers who have been upset by her actions. I will only rest when she is GONE. Eat my box bitch!

Hmmm second thought, she can keep her herpes-ridden gob away from my box...

Anyways, the update of the vacation. I'll make this short okay?
After Calgary we went onto BC for 10 days. We were there to see Mr. Sass' family. They are Mennonites. Hence the lack of updates. No internet connection. We had a great time. We went to good ol' Stanley Park and the Aquarium there. Good times. We went hiking on an old train path through the mountains and through old tunnels. Very cool. Lots of time was spent with his cousins. He has such an awesome family.

My boys :)

2 turtles fucking at the aquarium. I also took a video cuz I'm immature like that.

Kettle Valley Railway paths where we were hiking.

Teeter your child on a ledge over raging waters for a picture: Parent of the year award #2 for us.


One of the old rail bridges we hiked along. Mr. Sass scaled down the rocks to the bottom to take this picture...nutso. At times I was convinced I'd be a single mother by the end of the day.

One of the many amazing sand castles at Harrison hot springs at the annual world finals. These were truly amazing...and large! I was blown away.

So you add a lot of family visiting, some amazing scenery, and a few day trips and you have our days in BC. BC is simply gorgeous. I'll never get used to seeing mountains all around me.
There.
My Vacation.
Over.
*sigh*

A small hiatus from my vacation recap. Don't everyone jump for joy at once.
So why the hiatus you ask?
Some fat bitch at Wal-Mart pissed me off.
Yup: Rant ahead. You've been warned. I can only imagine that it will be littered with profanity.

So I went to get baby food for Mason. Nothing left in the cupboard, so I was going to seriously stock it and save me a trip for more later this week. I bought lots. LOTS. Lots of new things for him to try. I buy Organic when I can. Why not? For the most part it's the same price and I am of the thought that I can at least give him a good start and give him good and healthy food choices. I make some of his food now and then, but the jars are easy, I'm not going to lie. Mr. Sass and I eat a lot of Organic and locally grown food. We prefer natural meat that's not been fed antibiotics and all that other shit. It's not that we won't eat other meat or foods, it's just that when we can, we do this. Same for Mason, it's not that I won't allow my son to eat anything that's not organic, it's just what I've been giving him now. I know he'll have lots of other foods as he grows and I'm not going to run a Nazi regime over his eating habits.
I also let him touch things and I'm not over crazy about germs and not allowing him to do things because he might get sick. He is clean and I wash his hands when needed, but I want him to experience things. Besides, he's building up his immunity. He hasn't been sick yet (knock on wood). Again, I'm not going to go all psycho trying to prevent him from touching things just for the fear that it's dirty and could make him sick. Once he starts walking, I'm sure he'll touch all kinds of think and put them in his mouth. Mmmm.
Yes - all this rambling is pertinent to the story. It's my defense maybe. Just to you though.

Anyways, I get to the cash and the sow at the till looks at all the food and says, "You are doing your child more harm feeding him organic then not. You yuppy people think you are doing so wonderful for your kid, but it's grown in shit you know. How good is that? He's just going to be a sickly child and develop disorders when he's an adult."
I'm standing there staring at her. Gobsmacked. She continues on about how I'm probably one of those parents who sanitizes my kids hands all the time and fusses over him being clean all the time. This will also make him sickly and he'll probably die young. (*Please note that while she's saying this, Mason is chewing on my sunglasses. Probably not hygienic, but he likes them).

Anyone who knows me knows this ditch pig is lucky she still has her life. They would also tell you that I am not shy to speak my mind and defend myself. I have no problem telling an ignorant, mis-informed cunt scab that she should just mind her own fucking business. That her fucking opinion was not asked for, nor wanted. That she probably doesn't know the first thing about being healthy and sanitary, or at least that's what her 400 pound, scab ridden body suggested.

I'd love to tell you that I said something to her. Most would probably not believe me if I told them I didn't really say anything. My head was pounding, sinus pain, coughing, and a sprained (if not broken, toe. Normally this would just fuel my fury, but this time, I just gave her a snarky look and said "thank you for your crappy opinion, but I'll do what I think is best for my son and not be influenced by people that think they know everything."

I'm mad at myself for not saying more, but I figure she'll get her own when the maggots crawl out of her festering sores and gnaw her face off. Bitch. What gives her the fucking right to comment on how I'm feeding my child? She can lick me where God split me.

...and here's a picture of my toe. Just because I can. I need a pedicure, I know. Now I'll have to wait until the bruising goes away. The swelling is almost gone. The picture looks better then the real thing actually. Meh. It's probably just sprained, but it hurts like hell. I love a good bruise, so I always take a picture.

The vacation update...part 1.

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. Mainly because this cold is kicking my ass. I feel like crap and to make things even more enjoyable, I'm pretty sure I broke at least one of my toes today.

So right before we left on vacation, I went away for the night with my mom and aunt. It was to get away for my mom's birthday and a belated mother's day gift. We went to see Jersey Boys at the theatre. So AWESOME. We stayed the night at a fancy hotel and pampered ourselves, and then went to the Blue Jays game against Boston. They lost in extra innings, but it was a great game. It was the first time I have left Mason over night. I survived (barely) and so did he. He had a great time with his daddy.

Hmm....I'm already rambling here I think....

Mason did AWESOME on the plane. All three plane trips. He charmed the pants off the people around him. The time change was no issue for him either. He did so well. He was always happy and laughing and entertaining all the new family and friends he met. We are so proud of him.

We got to Alberta to see my brother and sister in law. They showed us an incredible time and loved seeing the boy. They haven't see him since he was 10 days old so they were shocked at how big he has gotten (I do send lots of pictures!). One of the highlights was going up to Banff and Lake Louise. It was freezing in the mountains, but SOOO beautiful. Here are a couple pics:

Lake Louise. This picture really does it no justice. The water is so blue and the mountains so gorgeous.

Excellent parenting skills: perch your child on a ledge for a picture. I left Mr. Sass in the picture so you'd all know Mason was safe.

Moi et Monsieur Sass. Please note I am exhausted, bundled up and freezing. Don't judge yo.

Banff. Again: gorgeous. We mostly shopped and breathed in the fresh mountain air...

The next day we drove up to Edmonton. We had a quick visit with Mr. Sass's cousin. I mainly wanted to go so I could me Mackey! Too bad we got lost and had to stop because then I would have much more time with her and her family. I got jipped. I can't tell you how amazing she is in person and her family is just as amazing. We really had a blast with them (and riding the roller coaster in the mall...even though I nearly shit a kitten doing it!). I wish I had more time. I was sad driving home :(

I reallllllly love Alberta. I could so see myself living there. Maybe it was the sexy cowboys I saw...but it was really great. I wish we had stayed at least one more day.

Tomorrow: The BC leg of our trip (ie: where my internet connection was lacking, since we were staying with Mr. Sass' Mennonite family).

Guess who's back?

I'm home.
I've managed to catch a cold too. I never get sick so I'm kind of pissed off about it. I guess I ran myself right down with all the things we were doing. Besides, next time I get the fancy idea of taking a redeye flight home...smack me. Sure, Mason slept really well...but we didn't! I'm so tired today! Bleh.

I'll give a brief synopsis of our trip and some pictures. I promise.


However, first I'm just kind of in one of those moods.
It's the 2oth anniversary of my dad passing away. I was 9. It doesn't seem like 20 years at all. I still miss him like crazy. It would be so awesome to have him here to play with his first grandson. He would absolutely love Mason :) He always took so much time for me and my brothers.

So 20 years. Wow.

I'll update tomorrow.

We made it.
We're in Mackey land!

I'm going on some serious lack of sleep, but I should be use to that right? We made it through the flight with very little problem. Mason did great....and charmed the pants of the people around us.
We're hitting up Banff and Lake Louise tomorrow. I can't bloody wait!
Then Wednesday? Meeting up with Mackey!!!!!

I'll keep updates coming when I can...and some pictures of the mountains!

Hey Os - Did you see me waving from the plane?!?!?!

I'm off like a Jewish Foreskin!

I'm leaving for the wild, wild west. On Monday. However, today I'm heading off for Toronto until Sunday and then when I get home it will be a mad rush to get things together and get to the inlaws' house for the night. We leave at the most unholy of hours so if we stay there we can get a few more minutes of sleep.

Before I leave however, I have a little confession. Remember the size 22 debacle post a few days ago? Well there is more to the ending. I found 2 bathing suits. One was a set and the other was a mix and match situation where you pay for each piece separately. The tag even dictated that it was a separate. Anyways, I found bottoms that fit and went well with the top. By this time I was pissed off at the stupid sales lady so I decided on a little scheme. I changed hangers with another suit, one that held sets and attached the bottoms (which for the record are a different name brand then the top) and placed the top on the hanger with them. I decided if I got busted I'd play stupid and just pay for the damn things. The sales lady checked the first one to make sure it was a set and I thought I was busted for sure. My darling son then decided to turn the charm on and totally distracted her....so she didn't check at all. She rang the 2 pieces in as one. Originally the top alone was $82.00 (I'd never pay that!) but I ended up getting both pieces for $30.00 and tax.

Boo-Yah! In yo face for bringing me a size 22.

I'll try to check in while I'm on vacation :)

Dinner, a movie and some crap.

Last night the girls and I hit up a little dinner and then went to see "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Good times. Although, I have to say for a night away from the husband and baby for myself and my friend K, we found ourselves sitting in a theatre with some dicksnot parents who decided to bring their 2 young kids to the movies. At first we thought we were imagining hearing a baby cry..but nope. There they were. For shames sake.

During dinner a funny story emerged. Our other friend N, had offered to take a package of some sort to the doctor's office for her father in law to save him the trouble. She's just nice like that. Me? Notsomuch. So K and N stopped in at the doc's office with this little package, all wrapped up. N was holding it very delicately and away from her, unsure of what it was. Me? I would have asked what the fuck I was carting aroung. Forsure. Anyways, some words are exchanged with the nurse, and once the nurse realizes that it's not N's erm...special package...she is strongly urged to go wash her hands. K too.
The contents? A stool stample.

That my friends is above and beyond the duty of a daughter in law.

Gold metal to N for this event. I don't think she'll be competing agian though.

I went shopping with my mom today. I needed to get a few things for our trip and she provides not only an excellent (and brutally honest...but nice) opinion, but she's a great distraction to the baby while I shop freely. Today was the dreaded bathing suit shopping. My favourite one has a hole in it (nooo not there) and I won't wear it and look like a ditch-pig.
I picked out several suits I liked (and all 50% off no less and headed into the fitting rooms. I found one I really liked but was disappointed that it was mislabeled. The lovely grandma-like sales associate offered her assistance so I asked her to check for my size (mom was in the next department looking at sunglasses: big help). A few moments later the sales associate comes back with a size 22!! SIZE 22!!!!!!

Are you serious? I'm not super skinny by any means, but I don't think I look like I take a size 22. Either she was being mean or she needs a new prescription. So much for feeling good about myself after my recent efforts in trying to eat even healthier and loose 20 by December....

I put my clothes back on and went to check myself. She was surprised to see me exit so quickly with the same suit and asked if I needed anything....
Ummm no thanks. My self-esteem is better off without your help lady.

Hookt on foniks wrket 4 me

I get these emails as part of a Freecycle network where people who are looking for things or looking to get rid of things can go. It's a great way to get rid of stuff or find things you want. It also keeps things out of dumps. I've gotten rid of a few things to people who actually have use for it (one man's junk...). I have even gotten a few things. Didn't know Sassy was eco-friendly now did you? Anyway, you get notice via your email when someone posts something. Yesterday I get a message from a guy I've seen around before. Rest assured this is an adult okay? He's looking for a video game. Here's the message:

pleas im desperit i cant fine the play stashon games eney ware i have
bean to every stor that sells games and no wone hase them

I don't want to judge other people. I'm not even going to offer the suggestion of spellchecker, but as a teacher I am appalled. Where did we fail this guy? I know that are a whole slew of possibilities here to explain his poor spelling and grammar, to say nothing of the total disregard for the conventions of the language...I'm just sad for him.

Maybe I should offer him some tutoring...since I don't have the game he's looking for.

1 week and counting

I'm starting the daunting task of packing for our trip to western Canada.
I'm such a "make a list" girl. I make "to do" lists all the time...and then forget them. I make "to do" lists about "to do" lists for Pete's sake. Back in University my roommate and I had lists all over the place...such eager beavers....(minds out of the gutter boys..and girls).

Anyway, the first thing I did was make a list of what Mason will need and I categorized it, "feeding, bathing, etc etc" Does the word "NERD" come to mind? Yeh.
So I spend a good hour making this list and haven't even started to actually pack anything. I could have probably finished in the hour I was typing things out (not a spreadsheet though..not that big of a nerd).

I have to be honest, I'm scared of flying with the baby. What if he cries? He is into everything and wants so badly to be on the move (he's such a wiggle room) that sitting still or in one place doesn't seem to be on his "to do" list these days. Argh. I'm worried about the time change too and adjusting him to the 2 hours difference. I know it will be okay and we'll survive. I plan to take the bull by the horns...Any advice though?

Grab your earplugs...

I hate singing, unless I'm alone in the car with the tunes cranked. Yet I sing with Mason all day. He loves it. It's different singing with kids. They don't care what you sound like. My students love to sing with me too, but I'm mortified if any of my co-workers hear me. It's a bit different now, because if Mason is fussing in public, I know singing one of our special songs, he'll stop instantly and snuggle into me. At those times, I don't give a flying fuck who hears me, I just want my baby to be happy.
However, lately my confidence in my silly singing with my son has been dashed and I blame the dog:

No sticky fingers here....

I figured I better update, lest someone think I have been checking my email allllll this time and perhaps am suffering from a severe case of carpal tunnel....

I've gotten a few "friendly" reminders to post a picture of Mason's little tooth. These are different from the "reminders" to post nude pictures or video of me enjoying some of the more entertaining email out there.

So here is one of the two:Yeah well...you have to click on it and look really closely....but it's there. I promise.

WOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I done gotter did!!

New computer and and I didn't even have to whore myself! I just need to get use to using a laptop and this ridiciculous keyboard.
I'll be around to update myself on all the blogs whom I loveth, and to reply to comments...but for now I need to surf for porn...erm...I mean check my email.

My computer is once again effed up. I took it to someone yesterday and was told that it's a no-go for fixing it. Crap.
Now I'm shopping for a new computer. Maybe I can get a good "back to school" deal or something to hold me over until we have more money to invest in a better computer. Mind you, I think Jobthingy once told me it was always okay to whore oneself for a new computer. I'm thinking of that too.
So the short end of it is, I'll be around a bit here and there, but may be MIA for a few days while I shop. I'll catch up on all the blogs that I loveth too.
For now though, I feel the need to sulk. =P

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 comes out this week. My friends and I are planning to go see it together. Touching really. The girls in the movie are close, and like sisters, and so are we. I guess we could draw a lot of parallels between them and us, but that would be kinda gay. When I read the books I just "got them." Having a pair of pants passed around would have been something I would have totally done had I been that clever and had we all been the same size. No amount of magic is going to get the same pair of pants on my ass and that of my friend K. Then I got to thinking, I probably wouldn't have done pants. That's just not how Sass rolls. So I'm suggesting that my friends and I start our own tradition. I propose that we become the Sisterhood of the Travelling Panties (2 "l's" because we are Canadian okay?). We'll follow the same rules though, so no washing of the panties.

We'll just have to include a little penicillin with our package perhaps, and some douche.

Maybe I should go back to the drawing board on this one.....

Hi-Ho The Derry-O...boo hoo hoo.

You know that song "The Farmer in the Dell?"

The farmer takes his wife, the wife takes the child, child takes the nurse and so on. It gets down to the mouse who picks the cheese.

Then the last verse is:

The cheese stands alone.
The cheese stands alone.
Hi-Ho the Derry-o, the cheese stands alone.

It breaks my heart. Poor cheese. All alone.
Today I cried for the cheese.

A Few Updates

It's been kind of busy around here.

We picked up the Escape on Tuesday and it's great. Lovin' it! They did everything we wanted and even a bit more. The funny thing was we picked it up around 6:30pm and Mason was fussing for his dinner/bath/bed. We left the dealership and took the long 2 minute ride home. No joy riding time. Anyways, the asshat from the dealership calls at 9:45 the next morning and asks us how we like our vehicle. Not only did he wake up Mason (he's been sleeping very lightly these days. Argh!), but apparently he checked his commonsense at the door. I responded with "well we haven't even had the car 24 hours. Maybe you could call us back in a week and ask us then?" What did he think we were doing...driving around all night? Sadly, we drove home, parked it and went inside, until the next day.

Mason cut his first tooth on about Friday of last week. It just magically appeared. He hasn't been all that fussy lately. He's been drooling for months and his cheeks were a bit pink at times, but that's it. Let's hope the teething fairy is this nice each time he gets a tooth....

My friend finally had her baby. The 9th visit to the hospital was the charm. It's a GIRL. Knock me over with a feather. And everyone else too. EVERYONE was convinced it was a boy. She's too precious for words. We went to see my friend and baby Isabelle. Here's a pic of the little lady who caused so much drama! She's exercising her little lungs here:

Eat my dust bitch

Today, we pick up our new vehicle. Not technically "new," but new to us! We bought a 2006 Ford Escape Limited. It's totally jammed with everything you could possibly want. All the goodies, and low kms. Beyond all the fun goodies, the best part was the price.
Those who know me, know I love to haggle. I robbed the place where we bought our appliances 2 years ago. This time, I robbed the dealership. Or came pretty damn close to. We did our research. This particular vehicle and it's 'shape' has a black (or is it blue?) book value of $17 995. Their first attempt at selling this vehicle was the ol' "we'll let it go for a total of $21 995 (or somewhere close to that), and that's including taxes."

No thanks. Not near good enough.

They laughed when I said I wanted it for $15 000 all in (taxes included), AND 4 brand new tires AND rust coated (a must in these Canadian parts).
I'll save you the whole onslaught of banter back and forth between the salesman and I and then the sales manager and I (who apparently thought he could deal with this woman better. He lost.). It was rather comical at points though. It helps that I know a lot about cars and love to argue.

I got the damn vehicle for $15 000, and everything else I wanted.

I also got offered a job as a sales person. Seriously. They offered me a job.

Hey..if you have a moment, go HERE and vote for my friend Hippychic's picture. She is an amazing photographer (I'm so jealous of her talent!) and deserves to win! Thanks :)

Oh, and I discovered that if you open the link with a different browser, you can vote twice. hehe

P.S. As per below...still no baby.

This is ridiculous

A good friend of mine is expecting her first child. In fact, the baby was due July 18th. They don't like to let you go more than 1 week over your due date, so the plan was to induce her on Friday (the 25th). She waited all day anxiously to be called in. Around 5pm she went in, got the gel and was sent home (The same process I underwent). To make a very looooooong story short: she's still pregnant. She's gone back and forth from the hospital 8 times now and had 3 rounds of the gel. They don't want to break her water or start pitocin because they are understaffed for nurses until the weekday. She didn't even start having contractions until about 11:30 last night, and then they stopped. She and her husband have been playing countless hours of scrabble in labour and delivery triage. The current news is that she is having contractions again, about 5 minutes apart, but is not effaced or dilating, so she's on her way home. Again. For fucksake. I can't imagine the toll it's taking on her both physically and emotionally. I've been on pins and needles all weekend waiting to rush over and celebrate! I can't take much more!

Could you please send some positive vibes to her, mixed with a little kick in the tiny rear of that baby to be born? Maybe with a collective force, something will happen.
Thanks.

In exactly one month, I'll be headed out West for 2 weeks. I just picked up our tickets.
Oh yeah baby!!
I'm freakin' out about traveling and the time change with the baby, but I'll have to seize the moment and just go with it. We're going to visit family...but I have other plans!

I plan to invade the territory of a certain Mackey!!! If I'm lucky, perhaps Cori will make an appearance too?

Watch out..your town will never be the same..it will be Sassified!! I can't wait!

I've started going to an Aquafit class. I used to go quite often, however since Mason's arrival, I've been slacking. Now there are too many wobbly bits and something needs to be done. It's at a perfect time too: right after Mason goes to bed. So yesterday was my first time at the Wednesday classes. I made a few observations:

1. Most of the people are about my age (late 20s) or really old. I don't know why this surprised me. Maybe it's only been my experience that old people do this. I was pleasantly surprised.

2. There were some seriously large people there. Now I'm not judging. In fact, kudos to them for coming. What got me was, here I am self-conscience of the way I look in a bathing suit and here are these ladies laughing and walking around while waiting for the class to start. Me? I hid under my towel until the last possible moment.

3. However, it was these same ladies who felt free enough to walk around naked in the change room, in no apparent hurry to get dressed, and struck up a conversation with me. Why not during the class?! Why not on the deck before? Why now?! Again, I chose to change in one of the change stalls. I guess I shouldn't fret too much, it's not like I could see their cookie if I wanted to, their gunt was in the way....

4. At one point the instructor had us riding the pool noodles. We had them between our legs and she had us pumping our legs so we'd move backwards. First off, it looked like we all had massive cocks, then when 'pumping' our legs...well it looked rather erotic. I'm sure she did this because it looks so rude and she'd get a laugh. I'd do the same thing.

5. Yours truly broke out into song, when Rod Stewart's "D'ya think I'm sexy" came on. Talk about loonie bin material. One of the male life guards howled and then joined in with me, dancing on his little platform. I figured he was helping me along until the men with the white coats showed up.

6. Why is it always me that is approached by folks who are missing a few bricks from their load? Now if it was after my little song outburst I'd understand, but no. Maybe it's because I'm nice, or they see one of their own, I don't know. But when her first sentence is, "did you know I had tuna for supper tonight?"....

So after all that?
You bet I'm going back.