7 Songs eh?

So once again I have been tagged by Mackeydoodle, and once again I will play. So if you don't really care what music I'm listening to right now, then by all means take this as your cue to exit.

The rules: List seven songs you're into right now. No matter the genre, whether or not they have words, or even if they're any good, they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs, then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Seether - The Gift (I am so in love with this song! Okay I am in love with Seether in general right now!)
2. NIN - The Hand that Feeds
3. Theory of a Deadman - Santa Monica
4. Marilyn Manson - The Love Song (always a Manson song in my head/heart!)
5. System of a Down - BYOB (still...not a lush k?)

Ready for the otherside of me? I tend to keep this bit hidden away....until now I guess:

6. Busta Rhymes - Touch it
7. Beyonce ft. Slim Thug - Check on it

Okay, that wasn't so bad, and I could have listed a few more, especially going along the root of the last two....so what if I like to get down with my bad self once and awhile?!
Final note: I refuse to tag people...so if you want go ahead and play, and if you don't, that okay too. I'm just that kind of girl!

I think I'm ready now....

What a weekend! I feel so rejuvenated for the end of March break! I think (emphasis on the think!) I'm ready to go back to work. The last 4 days have really lifted my spirits. Since Thursday I have been surrounded by friends and good times, and I think I really needed that distraction. My best friend in the whole entire world came to visit, and we got up to our usual shenanigans! Her son provided some serious laughs too! He is quite the child, and I only hope that one day I will be half the mother she is, and my kids will be half as amazing as him. He comes out with some really crazy stuff too. He can tell you what a gentleman does: "A gentleman opens doors for ladies, says please and thank you and tells a lady she is pretty....(here's the kicker!) because it gets you out of trouble" Smart....and true! He was asked what happens when he catches the frisbee (the correct answer was 'a victory dance'), and he replies "you bleed" because he may have sustained a small injury playing with an aerobee....ooops! My favourite has to be when he was running around the store and his mom told him if he continued he would get hurt (from bumping into something, not that she was going to beat him in the store!)...he says, "it's okay, chicks dig scars!" Not to shabby for a 4 year old. I wish her the best of luck when he is a teenager!

I was also introduced to a liquor called "Butter Shots". Evil, evil stuff! Sooo yummy. It tastes like those hard caramel candies and there is absolutely no sting to it when you swallow. We loved it so much we may have marinated some chicken in it for dinner. It actually tasted pretty good. I highly recommend it!

Sadly my poor pooch was also injured this weekend. He came to the park us and somehow managed to rip two of his nails straight out of his paw and damage a few others! He bled like a stuffed pig and we couldn't get it to stop...so we had to take him into the vet for some help. My heart breaks to see him hobble around, but at the same time, something sick in me makes me laugh at the way he hops around the house. He is also a sight for sore eyes with his bandages and the IV bag the vet insisted we wrap around the bandage when he goes out. My poor Cooper!

You know I am reading this over, and combined with the last entry or two I think I have painted myself as some sort of raging alcoholic, unless it's just that I know all the 'behind the scenes action' that occured too. It seems I spent the better part of the week with a drink in my hand, or a bottle of Advil! I would just like to say that although it appears that I am some kind of lush, I am not! I am coming off a 2 year "dry spell" and I was strongly encouraged by several people to have another (you know who you are: tst tst!) and this time I gave into peer pressure. I will go back to my clean and innocent self by tomorrow morning. Well, clean sure, innocent I'm not so sure, but you get the idea. Right?

Poor, sad Cooper with his bandage...sans IV bag...he would be just to embarrassed!

Say hello to my little friend! I'm sure that this doesn't help my argument for not being a lush, but I had help! Oh and Mel, ha ha you forgot this bottle at my house....see if you get it back! I'm kidding, I will only partake in these sweet nectars with you baby!

Blimey O'Reillys Trousers!

Another St. Patrick's Day has snuck up on me again! Okay so it hasn't really snuck up on me, and I may have been counting down the days since the beginning of March...but it's here and it's time to celebrate! I kind of jumped the gun a bit and celebrated last night. I went out and had a great time with a good friend of mine s! to watch the hockey game. We had a small bet riding on the game and as usuall I lost! So, he knows the concequences that await me! I had an awesome time, and look forward to returning his hospitality! So the party shall continue today!Even if you're not Irish, you are for today! So I beg of you that you join in my celebration: grab a beer (green beer even!), some corned beef and potato bread, or in the very least some green juice!

Here are some quick Irish blessings to keep you in good health while you party:

When Irish eyes are smiling,

Tis like a morn in spring.

With a lilt of Irish laughter

You can hear the angels sing

When Irish hearts are happy

All the world is bright and gay

When Irish eyes are smiling

Sure, they steal your heart away.

May your blessings outnumber

The shamrocks that grow,

And may trouble avoid you

Wherever you go.

and finally, and probably more appropriately:

May you be in Heaven a half hour

before the devil knows you're dead!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Bottoms up!

Slainte!

Ouch!

You know that calm before the storm? That was at about 8:00-8:30 this evening. I had it set in my mind that it was going to be yet another quiet night in, when the phone rang. A friend from work called to say that she was in the hospital across from where I live. It seems she fell while skiing. To make matters worse their car battery had died. She called me to see if I had any jumper cables, and if I could help them out. To make a rather looooong story short, I went to boost their car, she was still waiting, and her 2 boys were bored out of their minds in the waiting room. I waited with them while she was with the doctors. I made mental notes as I sat there:

- I'll probably get sick, since the germ factory sitting across from me keeps sneezing and not covering his mouth. I nodded towards a sign that said something to the effect of if you are sick and coughing to get a face mask....take a hint please you bag of snot. This is my vacation time and if I get sick I will be less then pleased!
- Skiing is far to dangerous! I happen to live extremely close to a ski resort, but sadly I do not ski. I have tried to learn, but I am not a born skier! (that's a whole other story...believe me!)Besides, after seeing the amount of skiers come in to emergency (my friend included) from accidents on the slope, there is no way you will get me on skis again!
- The group of 15-16 year old girls that came in with their friend (skiing accident- shocking) were far to into American Idol. However, they wanted people to stay on or be voted off because of their looks. I listened to "how can he be in the bottom 3, he's hot!" and "vote the dude that looks like chicken little off" and "he's so trailer park, why would anyone vote for him, she's prettier so she should win" Nothing like voting for someone with talent there ladies!

I ended up taking the boys home so they could go to bed. It turns out my friend had actually broken her hip! It looks like she will need surgery to fix it. I guess I always associated broken hips with the older people, not younger ones, so I am pretty shocked! Anyways, I am happy to be home now and ready for my own little pajama-jammy-jam!

Steak and Sex Day

Valentine's Day is really for the ladies when you think about it. There are not many men who really give a flying finanagin about flowers or chocolates. Most will probably argue that lingerie is okay because chances are it leads to sex, and that's a good thing! A local radio station (flow) has decided that since Valentines Day is for the ladies, there should be an equivalent for the gentlemen: Steak and Sex Day, March 14. On this day, men should be given the two things they love the most: meat and sex. So I say, why not? We should appreciate the horny, meat-eating mammals that surround us! If I was a man I'd be saying, "I like my steak medium and the sex well done," but I'm not, so feel free to place your orders (uhh with your ladies of course, this gal can only do so much!).

Happy Steak and Sex Day!

and a Happy Birthday to Keri! I know you'd love that your birthday is on this soon-to-be national holiday!

The Irony of It All

I was watching this show on the discovery channel looking at the film Grizzly Man (2005). The movie looks at the life of Timothy Treadwell. He lived unarmed amongst the grizzly bears in an Alaskan national park. He ventured really close to them, talking to them and even touching them. I can admire his dedication, but at the same time I couldn't help but think that he is absolutely nuts to be that close to the biggest meat eating predator around! Often he camped for months alone at the park, so I guess one's sanity does have to come into question at some point. The clips showed him talking lovingly to the bears like they were children and he even named each bear. He would greet them by name, "hello freckles, are you fishing? What a lovely fish you have there...take care my precious!" That alone was enough to make me laugh, even though my inner good girl was telling me to shut up because this man is no longer with us. I thought he was homosexual, and at some points in the program thought he might be into beastiality too. You just never know...alone in the parks with all those bears (Im not judging, just saying. You can do as you wish if that's your thing). I'm sure the man had desires! But I was wrong. He brought his girlfriend Amie with him on one trip, their last ever trip. I can't stress the amount of time he spend on his beloved bears and the fighting he did to keep them safe from poachers and to share their beauty. He felt more at home with the bears then he did in any city. Maybe he felt like an outcast in society, and somehow he felt loved amongst the bears. I'll never know. He videotaped and recorded a lot of his adventures with these bears on his trips, and the movie is composed largely of his footage, which is incredible to say the least. Timothy Treadwell unfortunately didn't live to see the film made. On that last camping trip where he took Amie amongst the bears, he was mauled in his tent and both him and Amie were savagely attacked and eaten. Sad, but that's what I call ironic!

I find ways to amuse myself....

Maybe I need to grow up a tad more. I was in Wal-Mart when an announcement came over: "could an associate please return to the pet department for a skid removal" I was in a fit of laughter (and still am). The old lady didn't think I was very funny, or maybe she wondered what I was laughing at....I'll never know, but I'm still laughing. That's just how juvenile I can be.

I also saw this yesterday while I was out and about (not out and a-boot as some may believe we say!):

I had no idea noodles could do that! I'd pay to see it though!

WANTED

WANTED: The 4 strawberry-daiquiris that found their way into my hand last night. These SD's are sneaky. They don't look deadly, but they pack a harmful punch. They gain your trust by looking so pretty, with their vibrant red colour and their sweet smell. The strawberry garnish adds to their innocent appeal, luring you in with their succulent berriness. Their chillingly smooth taste make their poisonous nectars go down too easily. After you've been seduced by one, the others line themselves up in a provocative manner, just waiting to throw themselves at you like cheap whores. The more you allow yourself to be aroused by their temptations, the more desirable they appear to be, and thus you allow them to penetrate you further. At the end of the night they leave you feeling like some deep inner part of you has been violated by the most vicious of vixens, who penetrate you and then abandon you for their next casualty.

You wake up without the understanding of how you were so easily enticed by this berry goddess and her clique of harlots, and then left to wonder if you will ever be the same. Their venomous juices stale on your tongue, and their toxins still infiltrating your body, you will feel their effects for hours to come.

If you see the illusive strawberry-daiquiri lurking around your hand, be cautious for you have been warned. It is better to strike against these delectable delights in pairs. I am experienced in their ability to influence the innocent. Your best bet is to take me along with you so you don't have to be victimized alone.

TGIF

Never have I appreciated a Friday like I have today! I think I slept thru Thursday and spent the better part of the morning lazing around in my pj's. I know I was coherent for survivor last night, and I saw the beginning of CSI, but after that it got kinda foggy...so anyone who knows how CSI ended...I'd love to know. The week went by in a blur, but thankfully it seemed to go by quickly. I'm looking forward to the next 10 days or so where I can do whatever the hell I feel like, and not feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I realize that sounds dramatic :P One friend has decided to have us over for a fondue party (are we the only people who still do the fondue thing?). She does one hell of a cheese fondue too, which is extra nice with a glass of wine! It's a nice way to start the break, but the real reason we are going though is to suss up her new man. Some of us have met him and others not....and I'm sure he's been warned that we have the tendency to get quite rowdy...not to mention crass. If he doesn't run for the hills after we tell him allllll about the real J then we'll know he is a keeper ;).
So here's to the weekend: relaxation, friends, and fondue! Cheers!

Wiener Water

I have a stomach of steele. I can handle anything...except wiener water. You know if someone boils wieners and the water gets that greasy look/smell...well gag me! I cannot stand it. I would rather chew my own face off then see or smell wiener water, and today my worst nightmare came true. It was hot dog day at school. Disgusting! What a horrid idea to offer kids lips and assholes on a bun. Yeh, I know we do it to raise money for charity, but I'd be willing to head up something else, to eliminate these days from the school calendar. What makes it worse is that they start boiling them right in the morning and the smell wafts down to my class. Picture the size and quantity of pots they need to boil them, and the subsequent volume of wiener water that is lurking around the premises. I wonder why they don't just bbq them if they are going to insist on offering hot dogs. I also made the mistake of mentioning my queasiness with even the thought of wiener water. Now it seems to be tradition to have someone slip a glass of wiener water on my desk, or offer me one casually at lunch and then laugh as I gag and turn a lovely shade of green. Unfortunately, I thought it would help me to acknowledge and write about my hate on for wiener water, but it turns out I've just grossed myself out. Yup, wiener water is my kryptonite. I'm going to vomit now.

2 more sleeps

I need ideas. Some serious kickass ideas. March break starts in 2 more sleeps and as of right now I have nothing! Come 3:30 on Thursday, I am packing my stuff up and leaving...although this year I vow NOT to forget my purse and have to beg the custodian to meet me back at the school. Of course, I should be using this time to mark and evaluate and get started on those damn report cards, but common now, I clearly have until the end of the month and I work way better under pressure. Too many people are doing exciting things. Friends are jetting off to islands, or going on ski trips. One friend is also getting married and going on her honeymoon. So far, all I have is reading on my list and maybe a trip to go shopping a la outlet malls with my cousin if her college teachers are still on strike. Maybe if I'm really lucky I will get to hang the "window treatments" (that phrase pisses me off more then any of you will ever know) that I finally bought so the pervert next door will stop peering in at me. Who's jealous now? Yeh thought so. Any fancy ideas anyone?


P.S. Incase anyone cares the NIN concert: effin amazing...and I made it to work, now if I could just get rid of the ringing in my ears.....

Here I Come Trent!

Yeah! It's finally here! I've been counting down the days to this concert since January when the tix were bought! I know I need to get out more, but give me this moment okay? I decided to take 1/2 the day off to 'prepare' for the concert tonight (however if for some reason you work for the board office, I have an appointment this afternoon, I swear!). Although, now that I am at home, I am kind of board....the clock is moving slowly *sighs*. I told my students that I wouldn't be there for the afternoon (and threatened them to behave for the supply teacher). As the darlings that they are, they wanted to know where I was going...so of course I had to lie. I told them a music workshop, and they take this time to grill me about the details, which I had to shrug off pretty quickly. These are the same kids that argue about my age. In the beginning of the year one asked and I told them I was 99 and that they would all be invited to my 100th birthday party if they were good for me....now they are a little more smarter (thank god) and know that I'm not 100...but they still argue amongst themselves. It seems they are divided 1/2 think I am 17 and the other half are guessing 34 (guess which kids are getting A's?). I wonder what their parents would think if they knew where I was really going, but then again who really cares? Talk to me tomorrow when I roll outta bed and make it there for 8. Complain if I look like shit, and can't do my job because I still have that ringing in my ears. The kids are having art and gym all day tomorrow...they'll love that.
Off to get down with my bad self....Cheers!

Sunday Ramblings

For a lack of better ideas, here's what has been going through my mind today:

- What is that cold, wet thing at the nape of my back? Dog..walk yourself dammit my head hurts!
- I think I enjoyed a little too much wine last night. MMMM Zinfindel....
- Do I really plan to watch the Oscars?
- I must get off my lazy ass and put some pictures up and make an attempt to have it look like I've been in this house since November. I was at a friend's "Open House" last night, and her house is quite settled for having been in for only a month...man can I ever be lazy with these kind of things! I need an interior decorator.
- I could really use a hot cup of tea...Oh YES!! and double yes...I am now permitted to have one ;)
- I must be a good Catholic girl because I finally decided to give up chocolate (in addition to my other "activities") and damn it if she had chocolate covered strawberries. I absolutely love them and did not touch one...but I think I doubled up on the wine as a result! Be proud JC! Be proud! There is hope for me yet!
- 4 work days until the March break!
- 1 more sleep till Nine Inch Nails....*insert happy dance here!*
- Remember to share that I actually won on Roll up the Rim!!! On Friday a friend brought me a tea at work and I'll be damned...it was a winning cup. It was just a donut, and I don't eat donuts, but it's a start! Maybe the key is to have someone buy it for you? In that case, anyone who wishes to buy me a tea...feel free and I will share my winnings, unless it's something good, then I'll lie through my teeth to you.

yeah, that about sums it up...sad I know. Maybe some enlightenment will occur and I'll have something more to say, but that really is asking for a lot!

Ok Ok I'll Play!

So apparently I have been tagged by makeydoodle, and being the good little, obedient girl that I am (you can stop laughing now.....no seriously, get up off the floor) I will play along.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Hmmm, sitting in a classroom in the south of France, watching the English teacher teaching the boys to say they wear panties, not underwear. Nuff said.

Five snacks I enjoy:
- strawberries (add chocolate, and you've got one nasty little temptation on your hands!)
- granola bars (booooring! I know but I don't think I could live without them)
- popcorn
I'm really struggling here....
- ice cream/popsicles in the summer
- men (I'm spent already...how many more questions are there?)

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
- any song by Marilyn Manson (is that cheating?)
- Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (I'm not too proud of this one, but it makes for a very funny Karaoke night when mixed with some drinks)
- Remedy by Seether
- Closer by Nine Inch Nails
- Grillz by Nelly (please don't ask..it's better for both of us)

I'm sure there are many more, but these are what I've been listening to lately, with the exception of Vanilla Ice of course)

Five things I'd do if I were a millionaire:
-money to charities, but probably those associated with children. I'd also like to go to a third world country and build a school or something...but that's a whole other ballgame! It would just be easier with money!
-travel, travel, and then travel some more. I'll bring all my friends along too!
-put up some bloody curtains/blinds in my front window so people stop looking in...although I don't need to be a millionaire to do that....I just need to stop being lazy.
-buy a seriously killer cottage with all the goodies a cottage needs (and no I'm not talking dishwashers and tv's! I'm talking seadoos!)
- hire a chef and a maid (so I can retire from 2 of my 3 jobs....)

Five bad habits:
-being sarcastic to often
-swearing like a trucker (it took every ounce out of me not to add a swear word in there)
-probably drink too much tea
-crack pipe is always close at hand
-not showering/brushing my teeth for weeks on end...no am kidding about the last 2. I can't think of anything to write....feel free to offer suggestions)

Five things I like doing:
- reading/writing
- my job (everybody now...awwwww isn't that special? She likes her job)
- socializing/trying to make people laugh :P
- wearing my pj's all day
- riding (we will leave it at that)

he he...that's the nice list! Those who now me, know what my list may really include, you others can just guess.

Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again:
- all those shitty fads from the 80's/early 90's...only because I was looking at pics from then..*shudders*
- real fur
- I don't do cowboy hats, cowboy boots or anything like that. It looks fine on some people, just NOT me.
- granny knickers
- I really don't know....I won't buy olives! I hate the smell.

Five Favourite toys:
- camera - excellent for using pics to get what I want...beware I have some awful pics I may use to get my way...muhahahaha
- computer
- cell phone/Mp3 player/PS2
- Tickle me Elmo
- yup that one too

Select five people to tag: you, you, you , you and you.

OOOPS! Thursday Already?!

What a week! It just flew by! You would think that with everything I am depriving myself of, it would feel like a longer week....riiiiiight! So, in a last desperate attempt to make a HNT post before it becomes truly too late, here it is: my eyes. Not original by any degree! They are tired eyes today, a bit sad too. Happy HNT to everyone though!

I'm Convinced it's a SHAM!

Sooo, if it's one thing that we Canadians luuurve, it's our Tim Hortons (from hear on out, you will now adopt the lingo of "Timmy's"). I think they add crack to their products, no seriously, I think they do, or atleast some other addictive substances. They must add it to their coffee, and maybe they make little crystal meth timbits too. Either way, there is one time of year that we flock to Timmy's even more so then any other time: Roll Up the Rim to Win time! We down the scalding hot coffee (or in my case tea), just to roll up that damn rim in hopes of winning the plasma screen tv, the car, or in the very least a free coffee or donut. I am victim of this ploy every year! How sad is it that I get excited if I win a coffee and I don't even drink the stuff? Yeh, I can make my tea at home in the morning, but dammit it's Roll up the Rim time! And u better believe I get excitied everytime, only to be let down! I swear to you, I have won once in the last 3-4 years! So for that reason, I am convinced it's a sham! NO! wait, it is worse then a sham: it's a facsimilie of a sham!! I am not destined to be a winner, but it's too late for me because I am addicted, but save yourselves!! Must.....find.....winning.....cup!

Pancakes are the devil

Did you eat your pancakes today? I sure did...and I never want to see another one again! Well, it was the ladies turn this year at work to make the breakfast for "Pancake Tuesday", and I found myself in the kitchen at an ungodly hour, at work, with a spatula in my hand and batter on my shirt. All things said and done, it went well...no one got food poisoning and we didn't burn the place down. We came closer to doing that cooking microwave popcorn one day, so to tell you the truth I was worried what would happen when we tried to make breakfast for 30 people! The fire extinguisher was kept at close hand just in case. Later in the morning I repeated the whole process again to make pancakes for the kids in the two grade 3 classes...I know I am a glutton for punishment! So...if I ever see another pancake again - shoot me! At lunch (eating left over pancakes if you must know...*sighs*) we got talking about lent and if people are giving things up. After hearing about giving up bread, junk food and booze (?!?!?!?!?!?!) I decided I should be a good Catholic and give something up too....you know set a good example for the kidlets. I've decided to give up the following: smoking, anal sex and working of Fridays (oh and Mondays too!). I figure it should be easy since for the most part I don't do any of the above, and I could EASILY make the sacrifice to not work Fridays and Mondays for the next 40 days! Hmmm, now I'm feeling more like a good person! Now, in honour of Pancake Tuesday, Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday or even Mardi Gras (whatever you want to call it: it's an excuse to indulge in food, but more importantly a drink or two!) I'm going to have another drink and head off too bed! Cheers!

A Saturday Night Aboard the Honey Wagon

So in an attempt to lead a more exciting life, I came home early on a Saturday night and planted myself on the couch. Jealous? I started watching UFC. Yes, I know it's a 'man' show, but I like it so leave me alone. Have you ever seen them go at each other? Some positions they get into are quite provocative. They could change the name of the show to Brokeback fighting (I had to make atleast 1 brokeback joke somewhere!). Very sexual at times if you can get past the bit of blood and hard hits, unless you're into that of course. I then flipped over to "Dirty Jobs." Have you seen this show?! Gross me out...I love it! There is nothing like sitting on your couch on a Saturday night, a la cold drink, watching some poor guy shovel shit. Tonight they visited the wonderful world of 'noodling' catfish, operating a 'honey wagon' and a worm crap ranch. Who the hell needs to "noodle" a catfish...and people eat them? Dude definitely needed to put a shirt on though, thousands (millions?) of people are going to see that. That image was worse than the noodling of catfish itself (which for those who don't know, ie: you had better plans for a Saturday, noodling is basically getting in the water and waiting for these large catfish to bite your hand then you whip them out). Worm crap ranching was okay, nothing too bad except they got into a poo fight. The thing that upset me most was the Honey Wagon. It isn't honey they are carting around in case you're wondering! They are cleaning out septic tanks and grease traps. I had the unfortunate job one day at the cafe I worked at, to wait with the guys who clean the grease traps out. The smell was worse then anything I had ever smelled (remember I work with kids...), and that damn part of the show brought back horrible memories of the smell. I'm still gagging, but I pride myself on having a stomach of steel, and managed to survive the thought. When you're job entails you to use a tool called the "turd herder" you have to wonder. However, I'm thinking it would make a wonderful gift for that special someone in your life. Who's birthday is coming up?

Number 50 !?

Everyone has to start somewhere. It's baby steps, but 50 seems to be a good place to stop and take a moment to celebrate. It doesn't seem like I have written that many posts, but apparently I have. I've been able to unload my thoughts, deranged ramblings and even bitching sessions on poor people passing by. I've even managed to convince a few people to come back again and again, and convinced others further that I am sane and worthy of befriending. Cheers to the new friends (I'll drink to that!). Maybe one day I will get to stop and celebrate something significant like 500 or 1000. Until then, I will take this small step and roll with it. No, there won't be any huge bash (I'll save that for 500!) with strippers and party favors, but I can offer up some beer! Anyone is welcome to come over and celebrate, you bring yourself and I'll supply the beer!
Here's to hoping I can muster up something somewhat humorous or entertaining once and awhile, with a side of serious thoughts (just so you know I can be normal in my thoughts). So in the famous words of SpongeBob SquarePants: "Now that everyone is here, I officially declare the party switch to be in the oooon position!" Cheers!

HNT 2 I Got Cold Feet that Day!

It doesn't quite feel the same as sand between your toes. Although it was a lot easier to clean up!

I think I just wanted an excuse to go without socks and show off my new polish ;) A girl has to take care of her feet you know, no rough spots or nasty-ass polish...even in the winter!

Happy HNT!

What's Monistat?

One slip of the tongue and the lesson went from science to feminine hygiene (?). My student teacher was asking students to make some predictions as to what magnets would be attracted to. One boy points to the thermostat and says, "the box thing with with the temperature." Student teacher says, "the Monistat?...ohh I mean thermostat?" Slip of the tongue (to which I turned my head to laugh at of course). No problem...these are 8 year olds right? Wrong.
The first kid pipes up: "My mom has Monistat in the bathroom, but she says it's only for girls." Then another kid adds, "What's Monistat?"
Kid #1: "I think its cream, but I don't know why I can't use it"
Kid #2: "Miss what is Monistat then?" The class readily agrees, they want to know. She looks over at me. Don't look at me, you said it. Perfect learning opportunity! Sucka! It was very entertaining to say the least. For the record, she did a superb job avoiding the question...lol.

Reminds me of when I was in teacher's college and teaching a grade 6 gym class . We were doing soccer drills. I blew the whistle and some boys were still bouncing their soccer balls around. I said, "Boys! hold onto your balls!" They immediately dropped their balls and grabbed their penises and snickered... From then on I always specify what kind of balls. Boys!

Wow..I Thought My Roommates Were Weird!

I had my share of roommates while going through university, mostly good, but a few odd ones too! To sum it up, there was one chick who use to defrost meat by placing it on a heat register and cranking the heat. It would sit on the vent for days! Then she would put paper towel in the oven. She never got sick and never burned the house down, although there were a few close calls! Another roommate would have wild sex with her boyfriend, then immediately after, throw him out into the hallway and yell at him. He would stand there in his nuddy pants pleading with her. Hey Rico (yes that was really his name!) put some pants on dear, there are 3 other ladies (ha ha) roaming around! Poor guy, she WAS insane! and yet another one, who through no fault of her own, had the meanest and most inconsiderate boyfriend ever...forced the "quiet girl" to tear a strip off him one night (you go K!). Mostly, I lived with my best girls and we had a great time! Lots of practical jokes and odd stories that seem really funny to us, but maybe not to others. We had our share of problems, but these are the friends you keep for life. Yes, even the one who was a slob and kept a little toy hidden away that she doesn't know we know about...lol (It was Jules I swear!). A Florida man has recently been charged with fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because they had no toilet paper left. Wow. Anger issues! So, on this note, I'd like to take the opportunity to send my love to my girls and thank them for never bludgeoning me (or anyone else) to death over toilet paper!
Here's a quick flash back to those days...god we look young..and still do damn it!

yes, I had to cut someone's cleave outta this pic!

Side note: why is it that I can't find an old pic of my partner in crime, where she isn't doing something inappropriate?! So a recent pic it has to be!

Drivers...

It occurred to me on my way into work today...I think some people really think I (we) can't see them when they are in their cars. Or maybe they don't care... either way, maybe they should think about some of the things they are doing while attempting to drive. Either they look like total morons, or they will surely kill someone. You know the types:

- the classic nose picker. You know right up to his knuckle. I really wanted to get out at the light and offer him a Kleenex, but maybe he wanted his privacy to enjoy the delicacy he just harvested.

- the "I can apply mascara/lipstick while I drive. No problem!" chick. Umm no you can't. First, you are making the most ridiculous faces. Close your mouth you are attracting flies, and two, you nearly hit me while trying to tart yourself up. Here's an idea, do it before you leave.

- the car pool mommy reaching around to smack her kids while clearly yelling her face off. Not an attractive look, and what makes it worse, you are yelling at a 3 year old like that?! and trying to smack him? Pull over your car, I have a smack for you.

- the watch while I drive my car with my knees, eat my breakfast and drink my coffee person. You clever monkey you. Join a circus. Atleast you won't kill anyone while driving. By the way you have some jam on your face you shemp.

- the ghost driver. Oh wait no...there you are! You are rummaging through your glovebox. Keep your eyes on the road...unless you are looking for a Kleenex, then that's okay, just be quick before you land in a ditch.

- the farter. How do I know this? Simple. Usually a guy driving and his significant other has her shirt pulled over her nose, or she is hanging out the window gagging, while he sits there with a smug look on his face. Ok...this is funny. Someone else's pain is my pleasure.

- the reader. Do you really need to read the paper right now? Wait till you get to the office, or to the bathroom if that's your thing. Headline today: "80% of Drivers too Preoccupied"

All this coming from the girl who was busted by a car of teenaged boys today for singing loudly and "dancing" in her car when Disturbed: Down with the Sickness came on...opps I thought no one could see me.

A Picture, A Small Heart, and Years of Life Lived

Isn't it funny how an object or a certain smell can bring back a flood of memories? I pulled out one of the (many) boxes I have yet to unpack since moving back in November. I had put it aside since it didn't contain anything that I really needed to survive. A box that should have taken me about 20 min to sort through ended up taking me over an hour. It was similar to when you flip through a photo album you haven't looked at in awhile. You look at each picture and have a laugh, or shed a tear. These were all objects that hold some meaning or significance to me. Each time I pulled out something I remembered precisely why I kept it and re-lived some happy and even some sad moments in my life. Its funny that with some things I pulled out, it put me back right into that time period. I swear I was back on the Cote d'Azur smelling fresh bread, the Mediterranean Sea, and even a pot of Tisane tea...but really I was sitting alone on a cold concrete floor in my basement. For a moment you get to relive these precious memories. Some might look at certain things I've kept as junk, but they will never know what that small cardboard heart valentine my dad gave to me really means. These tokens of times past shouldn't be in a box in the basement, yet they aren't really for display either. When you are always on the go and keeping busy, you forget the things that brought you to this point in your life, or the experiences and memories that make you who you are. It's nice to take a minute and ground yourself again.

The Virgin Has Landed

My first Half-Nekkid Thursday...some may consider me a virgin... ;)
I'm clearly missing the sun. If you're not blinded by my pasty-whiteness (is whiteness even a word?) and your still with me...Happy HNT! Someone get this gal a tan!

You've Got to Be Kidding Me...

I stop this morning to grab a tea on my way to work...cuz plugging in the kettle was just way too much work today. I went in the store (hey people: HINT: when the drive thru line is THAT long, why not get off you ass and outta your car, it's a lot quicker!) and noticed some guy staring at me. Obviously staring. Whatever. Maybe my hair was funny, was my bum eating my pants? Ok, second thought, he must have special needs if he is directly staring at me like that....he was alone and had a goofy grin on his face. Oh gawd, was I having a wardrobe malfunction and my breast was hanging out?! I went to order and leave. As I was leaving I hear footsteps behind me. "Excuse me miss?" Please don't tell me....yup! Peachy. "hi..." Insert some rather uncomfortable small talk as I walk towards my car...I was still trying to decide if he did indeed have special needs (which sadly would speak nothing to any sex appeal/allure I may posses). I didn't want to be rude, but I didn't want to be late for work either. Finally, he says, "you have really pretty eyes" Where is this going? "thank you."
"Do you have any Italian in you?" Whaaaat?
"No" Then it hits...
"Do you want some? I could really use a lay" He just stares at me...doesn't laugh, just stares.
Do I throw the tea at him and tell him dream on? No, cuz then I am out my tea...
For once, I am speechless (a hard thing to do: trust me). Still confused: special needs or moron? or both?
What do I do that this shit happens to me? Do I have a sign on my back I need to know about? Please someone clue me in!
Till then, I'll see you in the drive thru.

Oh Homey!

So I guess the nice thing would be to say Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. It's funny to see how people rush around to find the perfect gift, or the perfect way to say they love someone or cherish a person's friendship. Kids in my class were bringing gifts for the opposite sex...you are like 9 - cool the hormones! It's cute though. Personally, if you're my friend or someone special to me I try to make sure you know it everyday (okay everyone now: awwww)...so I don't need a special day to declare it, but the chocolate sure is nice :) On a fun side note though, I crashed the intermediate dance today and had an old school flashback to highschool. Their teacher had taught them the "bus stop"...so I had to join in! Much better then BINGO with my class. Enjoy the day and much love to all my friends...muah!

The Gummi Olympics

Welcome to my world. Besides being utterly lazy this weekend, I have tuned in to the Olympics a bit. Wanted to see how Canada was doing...and happened to watch both events that we won medals in. Also saw the 2 women's hockey matches were we won (slightly) against Italy: 16-0 and Russia: 12-0. However, that's where normalcy ends for today. I fell asleep last night after watching some highlights of the Olympics. I had the strangest dream. I dreamt of that the Gummi Bears (yes the tv show/candy) were a team in the Olympics. They were kicking ass in the events too because they were so small and bouncy. They had little gummy snowpants on and those furry tuques the Canadians have (little gummie biters)...they had trouble with the bobsled because they couldn't grip the ground. Geesh. The worst of it is, I have the damn theme song stuck in my head because it was playing in my dream when they won a medal....

Dashing and daring,

courageous and caring,

Faithful and friendly,

With stories to share,

All through the forest,

As their song fills the air,

Marching along,

As they sing out their song,

Gummi bears!!!

Bouncing here and there and everywhere!

High adventure that is beyond compare,

They are the Gummi Bears!

Get out of my head you little Gummi bastards! Thats the last time I eat a gummi before going to bed!

Crashed into Reality

It's cold again, and there really is no good excuse to spend any prolonged time outside...so I rented Crash. I've tried to rent it for 2 weeks now (grrr) and finally got it. Hmmm where to start? I feel like shit. Am I suppose to? The movie made me open my eyes and even question some of my own prejudices. Without giving away to much (if anything at all), the characters are all a victim of some hate crime, but at the same time are involved in some crime of their own. While watching I kept thinking that none of them truly understand what is making them so mad, or why another is doing something so dangerous. I was also thinking what have I done that is similar? Anger/hate makes us blind. If you take away that anger and hate, we all have the same heart, and isn't that what is important? (Is that too sappy?) What a crazy world we live in...and it makes me sad. I think that's what upset me the most, is that we all have these prejudices whether we realize it or not. While watching I kept hearing the voice of a former student. She once said to me "do you ever notice that its the kids who have different coloured parents that turn out the most beautiful? Maybe God is trying to tell us something. Maybe he wants us to see that we shouldn't hate everyone, but if we love each other and don't care what people look like, the world will get better." This is slightly out of context, but she's so smart for being so young. She liked everyone despite race or religion...If only all people were wise. Where to continue? The movie was fabulous. Any movie that can get someone to think about themselves and perhaps change, is worth a watch. However, I am still feeling a bit jarred, so I think I need a joke to cheer me up (and no it's not a racial joke):
A pirate walks into the doctors office and says, "Doc, I feel lousy!" The Dr. says, "my god there is a steering wheel stuck to your crotch!" The pirate responds, "Arrrr I know, and it's driving me nuts!"
I can hear all the groans and that makes my smile. I am known for stupid jokes...sorry!

My new friend...

It's apparently a chicken drumstick...don't ask. What kid draws chicken for fun? This one apparently. I personally like the belly button he has given it. On second look it kinda looks like a penis...

Hmmpf!

I've been staring at this screen for awhile now and have come to this conclusion: I have nothing nice or even bitchy to say, no thought provoking insite into life either (not that that happens often). Nothing has happened to me lately that is remotely interesting....so I am not only wasting my time, I am now wasting yours! I have a headache and my back hurts (I know...whaaaaa, cry me a river). Me and my bottle of Advil are going to bed.

Love it or Hate it...It's Here!

It seems everyone is talking about the burst of winter we finally got, so why not me?! Ok, we had a snow storm just before Christmas, and if I remember correctly one in early November, but other than that it's been fairly green around here. So much for the 'Great White North'. It's been so mild...almost eerie really. We held our breath, not daring to think it would last, Mother Nature would surely screw us over somehow, as long as it's not June! We finally got some more snow, much to the delight of skiers and snowboarders (of which I am neither, but it is pretty until it turns to a slushy sloppy mess!). Lot's of snow! However, it appears that where I live is where it was hardest hit. Just 30 min south and it's a light dusting (5cm) and a bit south more and the grass is still green. How is it that I am up to my neck in snow?! We easily have over 35cm. I'm thinking it will be June before it ever melts! Oh well, I like the snow in a weird way. I'm not a winter sports person, but I do think it is pretty. Somehow I like the early morning walk with puppy when its quiet, snowy, and offers a moment for quiet thought.

Vroom Vroom Baby

So I headed out to Speedorama in Toronto yesterday...fun fun fun! It was mostly muscle cars, which I quite enjoy, overall not to many cars, especially newer and high end modified cars (shitty). What was there, I found quickly. Enough to make any guy excited (and a few of us gals too!) Found a few cars that I think I could manage having *sighs*....Although I lost my balls again this car show (not that I had any to begin with but u get the point). Some guys at car shows have really nice cars, but they choose to put this little sign in the window that always catches my eye, and makes me laugh. The sign usually says something to the effect of "Unless you are nude, stay out of the car" I love these signs. Mainly I love them because they are usually found in the cars of a middle aged, beer-bellied, balding man who is missing a few teeth, and looks like its about that time of the month for a bath. Yeah..dream on baby. However, I have this insane urge in me. You guessed it. I sooo want to play stupid, strip down to nothing and climb in...just cuz that's what the sign says. I think it would be hilarious, however I chickened out again...it was a family show. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Can't wait till the next show! Who's in?

From Top: Mmmm VW Jetta with a widebody kit, supercharged...yummy.

A Cobalt with some serious modifications...Lamboughini doors..I think more was spent on the car, then what its worth..but still very nice.

Firebird (or a Thunder Chicken as we refer to them as :) hey MS?) very sexy, but lets loose the old man in the pic k? There was probably a sign on this car if u know what I'm saying.

BMW...didn't stop to get a close look at this one, I just liked it...lol Ok I can be a typical girl there!

I'm Doing it All Wrong!

I went to rent a movie, something that is perhaps nominated for an Oscar...sold out. So obviously I needed something comparable...So I watched Transporter 2 (a real intellectual film!) and several things occurred to me:
1. When I go out for a little gangsta gun play, I don't dress right. Obviously it would be a lot easier in my panties and bra. What was I thinking?! My aim will surely improve now.
2. I think this also applies to just everyday outings..like perhaps a stroll in the street? Hmmm leave something to the imagination!
This movie was good (what can I say? I like these movies too!), but definitely holds more appeal to the men who watch it.

Up Yours! Here's one for all Teachers....

Sometimes I get sick of people's perceptions of what it is like to be a teacher...blah blah blah. Al l you think it is about is the pay (ha!) and the summers off...it's much more then that. Here's something a (teacher) friend gave me...and I have to say I enjoy it. :)
I've tried to shorten it best I can:
Dinner guest are sitting around the table talking about life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He said it was true what they say about teachers: Those who can do: do. Those who can't: teach. To collaborate his statements he said to another dinner guest, "You're a teacher Ella What do you make?" Ella had a reputation of honest and frankness (go Ella!) and replied: "You want to know what I make?"
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a medal of honour and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best.
I can make kids through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.
I can make parents tremble with fear when I call home" You want to know what I make?!"
"I make kids wonder.
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell 'definitely' and 'beautiful' over and over until they will never misspell either word again.
I make them show all their work in math and hide it all in their final drafts in English.
I make them experience music and art and the joy of performance, so their lives are rich, full of kindness and culture, and they take pride in themselves and their accomplishments.
I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart, and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention."
You want to know what I make? I make a difference.
Now, what do you make?
Boo-Ya!

On a More Serious Note....

Why are so many people sick? Too many people close to me are battling wars with cancer, and the sad thing is they are so young. What made them get sick and not me? Why do they deserve this, or do they deserve this? I guess no one really deserves it, but we are faced with it so often!What a hard fight to battle. The strength I see in these people, to carry on with their lives, take care of their families, and give selflessly to others is really inspiring. I can only wish they beat their illnesses, because of all people I know, these are people who deserve to live. I can't even imagine what it would be like, yet they face it everyday. I wonder if this increase in diseases such as cancer has to do with the foods we eat, the environment we live in....I'm sure it does. We are surrounded by carcinogens. I guess we are slowly killing ourselves. That's a lovely thought to start the weekend isn't it? I wish them all the best though..always in my thoughts.

Crass but Sooo Funny!

I have seen two bumper stickers lately that really made me laugh. I think it was the shock that they were actually on cars that made it so funny. The first is on a 'friends' car...it says "My other ride is your mom" and the second was just randomly seen. It said, "Your little princess is my dirty little whore" Maybe as a girl I shouldn't really find that funny, but I do..so sue me. I'm sure it offends someone somewhere. The things people do.

Groundhogs Never Looked so Good!

Today is Groundhog Day...yipee..not. There are very few books to read to children about Groundhog Day, but a few favourites stand out. This is my favourite one to read...although it's title and author have slipped me. Needless to say it was a popular choice among staff members due to the illustrations. Notice the groundhog's burrow...phallic symbol or not? Maybe we are just pigs, but the story was way more interesting after we discovered his home. Maybe he was re-decorated by the lads from Queer Eye?

33 Days!

Did I mention that I am going to the Nine in Nails concert in 33 days?!?! Ok..well I am, and I can't wait...lol that's all folks...got that out of my system.

Sad Reality?

I took an informal poll in my class after having a conversation with another teacher. I asked how many students ate dinner as a family and talked (as opposed to in front of the tv). Shocking! Out of 19 (8 and 9 year olds), 3 said they regularly eat as a family. (side note: I could add that these 3 students are strong students and well rounded...a correlation? Probably, but who can say for sure?). I asked what the others did...they took their plates to their rooms to watch tv or play on the computer, others ate alone in front of the tv as other members of their families scattered around the house, and even still, some kids said they had to get their own dinner that their parents left out for them whenever they were hungry! What is wrong with this picture?! What happened to sitting down with your kids and asking them how school was, or just plain talking?! It's no wonder a lot of these kids have communication and attention problems (among an increase in other learning problems)! What are they learning by sitting alone in front of the tv or computer? They don't even get the chance to bond or connect with their parents, which is a shame because many don't see their parents a lot because they work so much. Maybe I am too traditional in this sense, but I think that a family should atleast eat together and talk for 1 meal a day, especially when the kids are so young! I wonder if this is as common other places...I hope to hell not!

You Really Have to Wonder....

You really have to wonder about this. At first I thought it was a joke...but that was 4 months ago. I took this picture at a used car lot on my way home...thought it was funny. However, I'm wondering if they are concerned as to why the same cars are on the lot that were there when I took this picture? Hmmm..who wants to buy a car from a "reasonably" honest salesmen? Not I said the sassy one.

Another Tantalizing Thought....

This is somewhat gross, but for some unknown reason I gave it some thought. I was asked by a student: "Miss if you were packed in animal poo up to your neck so you couldn't move, and someone was going to throw a big bucket of snot on you, would you duck?" Ew. Of course I didn't really entertain the child with an answer, but I thought about it later...as perhaps only I would. If I ignore the obvious question of how the hell did I get packed into it, I am bothered as to what I would do. Snot makes me gag...so I wonder if I would try to avoid it by sticking my....oh nevermind...this is insanely gross. Is this part of childhood or should I be worried about the generation that will be taking care of us? Ummm...just out of curiosity...what would u do?

I Just Don't Get It I Guess

Just when I think I am tech savvy (ok...I know I'm not, but I'm better then some)..I realize, I have no clue...no bloody clue. I got pissed on Friday cuz I wrote what I thought was a rather amusing post, only to have something go wrong and I lost it. Now I can't be bothered to re-do it...maybe another time I guess. I am also completely ignorant on how to add crap to my blog, like a bloody picture, a chat box, links...anything...oh well, maybe I'll get it at some point. Maybe I am just depressed that it is so cold and rainy and I wanted to spruce things up a bit. I'm going for a good cry in my Cheerios...not. Any help would be appreciated. :)

Guess He Wanted to "Ass"-ert Himself

So, my class is working hard (or atleast appearing to be) and I am working at a small table with a student, when "Bang! Bang! Bang!" on the window. Needless to say, everyone looks over and much to our surprise there is an ass pressed against it! A bare naked, hairy (erlack!) ass of a highschool kid leaving bum prints on my window! Told you...It's always me. What could I do? I just laughed with the kids and watched the poor fool trip over his pants as he tried to pull them up and run away at the same time. A lesson to the kids, if your going to press ur ass against someone's window...ahem...maybe close your legs so that your nuts aren't in the mix too...but then again, I don't think they noticed that gem.

Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging

Ok, so I don't usually do this kind of thing. I'd much rather complain, and try to get a chuckle out of people because apparently odd/humorous things tend to happen to me (trust me you have NO idea...but you will eventually). A colleague at work has a daughter not much younger then myself. She offered to share some books with me because she knows I love to read, and had shared some books of her own with me. She said that her daughter loved these books, and read them repeatedly. She also added that I am a complete psycho and she could see me liking them (trust me when I tell you it's a compliment coming from this friend..lol). She brings me the series, which begins with "Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging" written by Louise Rennison . She is absolutely brilliant!!!! I won't name all the titles....but OMG hilarious!!! If you can't appreciate the warped mind of a teenage girl, then it's not for you. The fact is, even in my mid 20's I can totally relate it to my teen years, and maybe it's because I can be a bit immature myself, I find everything so funny. I have since gone out bought my own copies, and am...well reading them for the third time...call me odd...but it still makes me laugh everytime. I shared it with my bestest friend, and she loves it just as much, but then again, she is just as psycho! So, it comes highly recommended! Happy reading!

What's Done is Done....

Atleast its a minority government, that's all I'm saying. Pricks!

I Voted...Now I can Complain and Bitch....Right?

Apparently, I feel like writing (typing?) today. Today is voting day in Canada...ho hum pigs bum. Can you feel the excitement? What ever-loving loser will mess with us now? I struggled with my vote this time. Usually it is clear to me, but this time I debated about it. Such scandal this time around, but isn't there always scandal? I'm not all that into politics and only half listen to what is being said, because quite frankly, more then half of it is lies and false promises to win our vote. I care about education and our health care system, I care about the rights of people and I care about keeping the peace, and staying out of war. But who do you trust? Should I really care this much? Although I debated over my vote, I know I have to vote because then, as they say, I can complain later....and I probably will! I wonder what the future holds for Canada...I guess only time will tell what promises are kept and which are broken. Cheers to the new (or re-elected) PM...good luck, you'll need it. Don't fuck this great country up to much eh? (Hmmm a threat with a hint of patriotism and a stereotypical 'eh' for effect...not too bad).

The Fashionable Minds of Our Kids

So, at the end of the day today, my student teacher and I are standing watching some grade 2's get dressed (7 years old). She exclaims, "Wow, those are some nice boots Michael" and he looks up, grins and proudly says, "They're Airwalks" She laughs and says "do you know what Airwalks are?" Michael shakes his head and says "No, but they are good" At 7 years old, he is already aware of fashion trends and brand names. However, I have that beat. Last week, on one of those colder-then-a-witches-tit days, a grade one student (6 years old) finds herself without mittens. I had already lent out my extra pairs to other students, so suggested we go shopping in the lost and found. She had no problem with this idea (yuk I say!), however, when I pulled out some mittens labeled with a "B.U.M" tag, she scoffed, rolled her eyes and said, "I'm not wearing THOSE mittens, they are from Walmart and my mom says we don't wear their clothes!" Well, excuse me! I didn't know you were so high and mighty that you would rather have your hands freeze off, then wear perfectly good mittens! You are 6 years old what the hell do you know about what you wear and don't wear, and what brand names you prefer?!?! Get back to me in 10 years when it is expected of you to roll your eyes and behave like this! So I smiled and told her it was these mittens or loose her fingers to frostbite and just have little stubs left for the rest of her life, and would she like that? Mittens are mittens and she can "suck it up buttercup!" She took the mittens, although she was miffed about it.....What are we doing to children today??????

To Each Their Own

So like a loser I am sitting here thinking about last weekend when I helped a friend move. In the last year, three of us have moved into new homes. We all seemed to have very different ways of moving our belongings from one house to another. I know this sounds odd. You would think that everyone moves in the same way. Pack boxes. Move boxes. Unpack boxes. Not so. My friend K, opted for the I'm just going to throw most of it out/give it to charity. If I miss it I will replace it, I just don't want to move it all. Me, I followed suit by giving a lot away, going through a lot of stuff and meticulously packing boxes. Each box was labeled with an idea of what was in it, and what room it would go into at the new place. I was always able to find what I was looking for (I'm very proud of that fact!) The joke on moving day was that everything ended up in the basement. Didn't know where to put something? Put it in the basement. My house is organized, no clutter (for now) and well the basement is...ummm semi-organized, but livable. Finally, friend N moves last weekend and yet another "style" of moving emerges. We get there and there are very few boxes (???). This was a take-the-drawer-out-as-is and move it move. She also had every single original box to every nic-nac and shoe she and her husband own (where was she hiding it all in that tiny apartment?). Lots of little things to move (which was good for the back), but also we moved about 20 pounds of dust (sorry if u ever read this N...u know I love u). Atleast the little dust bunnies only got a free ride to the truck, before they were cleared out. I'm not judging, it's just funny how 3 very similar people have different styles of moving. Bottom line is we all got moved without incident (minus the heavy rain for me and wind storm and sub-arctic temperatures for N!)...so cheers to that! Happy moving to anyone in the process!

You Have No Idea

You have no idea what that meant to me. That small gesture you probably thought nothing of, made my day. The note to tell me you appreciate all the work I do, validates who I am and what I try to do for your child. The smile your child gives me each day, makes me want (even more) to go into work and do my best.

You have no idea that I overheard you talking to someone else. I heard every word you said. Maybe I should have turned away, but I didn't. I will never think about you in the same way again. I am mistaken about you, and I'm sorry for not giving you more of a chance. I hope my idiocy was never apparent to you as it is to me right now.

You have no idea how much I respect you and love you. I wish I could find the right words to tell you. You gave so much for us, making things that were difficult or hard fun for us again. You gave us the love of 2 people. I always feel special when I am with you.

You have no idea how valuable love is, until you loose it. I had no idea that would sound so cliche until I wrote it.

You have no idea how bad you really want something until you can't have it. You have no idea how that can change your life both for the better and for the worse.

Volun-told!

Do I even have a choice? No. I have been victim of being "voluntold". You're asked to volunteer to do something, but you know you don't really have a choice, you are really being TOLD you have to do it. Today for example, the principal comes in (interrupts my lesson, but I guess he can do that....erg!) to tell me that there is a superintendents meeting tomorrow at another school. "I know you have been to one before, but I think its your turn to go again. I mentioned to the other teachers that you would probably be going. They will be talking about some interesting things and looking at some data" (and this is fun?? I'd rather be with my kids thank you.) "It starts at 8:00" (*groan* school normally starts at 9 so this means I am getting up early...). "You need to call for a supply teacher as well." I think to myself..hmmm this is short notice to prepare some plans...and should I tell him I am taking Friday off? No, probably not. Then he smiles and says, "of course, if you don't want to go, I can see if someone else can go, but its rather short notice (no kidding!) and you usually utilize these new practices effectively, and others could learn from you." (insert flattery to entice me to say yes...good tactic) He continues, "Its also a great opportunity for your student teacher to teach while you are away, and have the supply relax a bit" (? I don't get this one!) I say "yes, its not a problem, I'd love to go"...but do I really have a choice? No I don't, I was voluntold to go. Oh well, atleast at these big-wig meetings, they feed us well and keep us in juice and coffee.

I'm Enlightened!

So, I had someone tell me what the Sabbath elevator is for. Apparently, on the Sabbath the elevator will operate, however it opens at all floors so no devout Jewish people will have to push buttons...cuz that's too much work. I just hope they aren't going to the 17th floor...They will have to pack a lunch. So there u have it....ur enlightened too.

Just Another Day for Me...

So the day started out normal...well not really. Who calls getting up at 5 am normal? I surely don't. So scratch that. I had to get up at this ungodly hour to make it to an appointment in Toronto. I figured it would take me about an hour and a half with traffic, so off I went. On my drive down, a truck carrying bundles of styrofoam unleashed its furry infront of me. Luckily (well not so lucky for the bloke driving the red Cavalier) some wind caught it and sent it to the other lane. This happened several times. Apparently he didn't realize he was loosing his load. Someone is going to be pissed when they get to their destination! I am however, thankful it was not a load of bricks he was carrying...or I may not have been so lucky. I get to where I think I am suppose to be, and the elevators are not on. I head up 6 flights of stairs (not so bad, but at this time in the morning, I'd much prefer the elevator). When I get up, all the doors are locked up tighter then (ahh too easy)..... It is then that I realize I am in the wrong building. I need the one across the street. So I dart over there, ask the kind lady at the information desk for directions (side note: its a good thing she works at a hospital, I think she was ready to pop at any moment). It seems that some renovations are under way and certain rooms have been moved. I went into what I thought was where I was suppose to be, as it was clearly labeled "Respitory". Odd I thought, that so many men would be sitting here, and why are they staring at me?? It says to have a seat, so I sit. Why are these guys being asked how long they have abstained from sex/masturbation? What does this have to do with respitory ailments? Oh well, who am I to ask? (heh). I am next. I hand the kind doctor a paper, and without looking at it, he asks, did you bring the specimen? WHAT? Excuse me? Deer caught in headlights. Ohhh this is a sperm analysis clinic! Riiight. Now...I see, everything is crystal clear. Respitory is now 2 doors down...funny, the sign doesn't say that! This would only happen to me. Final note though...the hospital I had to go to is largely populated (run? not sure what the right word is) by the Jewish community. I happened to notice an elevator that was marked "Sabbath Elevator" What is this? I just don't understand. It's my own ignorance, I know, but I am notoriously curious. I have given it a lot of thought. Ok, so I had a nap when I got home, and now I am thinking about it...so sue me. Is it an elevator that Jewish people can only go in on the Sabbath because it's been blessed? Or does it lead to a secret bat cave full of potato latkas and chala? That's the best I got....So if anyone knows...please let me in on the secret!

Its Nippy Noodles Out!

It's really cold out today...shocker...January in Canada. I am missing the +8 we had last week, but it seems that Mother Nature has traded that in for a balmy -22. Sucks to you. I have to double up on my shirt so I don't poke the eye out of an unfortunate child. On the positive side, atleast I have somewhere to hang my keys so I don't loose them. You know, I don't even understand why guys have nipples. They don't appear to serve any purpose. Maybe they are just decoration...or something to pinch or pierce...hmmm..Baffling. God has a weird sense of humor...don't believe me? Look at Llamas.

Chickens

So I was suffering from "Bloggers-Block" (as someone once said it was called). I asked a friend..give me something to write about...anything. Side note: Clearly this a very deep and meaningful entry then, where lots of thought was put in. He says "chickens"..and I thought..hey I could write about chickens! For anyone who knows me, or has started to get an idea...you know this will not be normal thought patterns. Soooooo here goes:
True story: There is this kid in the other grade 3 class. He has his issues...and most times he is not part of civilization on planet earth. Anyway, he comes up to me wide eyed. "Did u know that giant chickens are coming from outer space to kill us because our ancestors roasted their ancestors?" I had no idea. Consider yourself warned.

You're a Pain in the Ass, but I love u for it!

You know it's always the kids that give me the hardest time, or cause me the most trouble that I end up really liking! They are the ones that keep me awake at night out of worry, or sometimes out of absolute anger/astonishment, but they are the ones that I miss after they have gone on to the next grade. Here's to all the pains in the asses out there, you've got a fan in me.

Sometimes You Just Have to Shake Your Head

I was thinking back to the first week of school. I think my students are growing on me. The best thing about being a teacher is that no two days are ever the same, and you get a good laugh each day...whether you should laugh or not. Believe me there are times I can't help but laugh, even though it is so inappropriate for me to do so. During the first week, for some reason, my students were really into telling jokes. One student asked me if he could tell a joke during snack, I said sure. He's a good kid and the joke was cute (ask me if I remember it though). After that, many of the kids wanted to get up and tell jokes. One kid in particular has a reputation for being a bit of a handful. He was bugging me all through math...so I finally told him that if he worked quietly until lunch then he could tell his joke. Worked like a charm, he worked hard. Lunch time rolled around. Given his reputation, I had to ask, "Is it appropriate?" He looks me straight in the face and says yes. He gets up there and says something to the effect of "why couldn't the moth fly with his legs together?" At this point, my teaching partner came in to discuss some things we had planned for out lovely little 7 and 8 year olds. All of a sudden the class is quiet, and when I look up they are all staring at me with wide eyes....trouble. I said, "_ _ _ _ get over here"..."what was the answer to your joke?" He tells me "because his balls are too big" (Note: I'm not sure if he messed the joke up, but I get the gist of it...moth balls...ha ha). The kids all knew they'd be in trouble if they laughed...although I was fighting back laughter just at the look of horror on their faces, and the look on this kids face. Anyways, I gave him the "I asked you if it was appropriate!!" He responds, " I don't know what appropriate is." Bloody Hell. No more joke telling unless they tell me the joke first. Lesson learned.

To be a Fly on the Wall

I am clearly not in the Jennifer Aniston camp. Although I think she is a great actress, I'm in love with another. I have been saying for years (years!) that it's a sin that Angelina Jolie is so attractive and as many women, I agree that a one Mr. Brad Pitt is ummm....well HOT. So when rumors arose that those two were hooking up I was tres interested! I have long referred to Angelina as my girlfriend (groan if you must, but a girl can wish), and that I would seriously abandon my herterosexual ways for her (and only her for the record)...and I wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with Brad either. But alas, life is cruel and instead I am here and they are there...but atleast they are together. The thought of those two together gets me a little misty (down there..lol)...and man would I ever like to be a fly on the wall. Then, today I see the little news flash that the celebs that I aime so much are having a baby...I though Oh my! My girlfriend is having a baby with my boyfriend!...How Jerry Springer is that? Well I am happy for them...Cheers!
Now, for the record, I don't follow "Hollywood Gossip" all that much, except in the case of Angelina, I am far far to mature for that! I reek of maturity, just read some of my past blogs, and even refer back a few lines where I refer to Brad as HOT...ok people I lied...so sue me.

Deep Thought

Do you think it is possible to fall in love with someone you have never seen in person? Perhaps you have only seen a picture and maybe if you're lucky heard their voice...but you have never physically touched the person. Can you truly love someone you've never touched, shared a real kiss with, or held during their darkest moments? Can you feel that same closeness through written conversation, or do you need that physical element to really know you love the person? Can intimacy be felt from miles away?
No...it's not burning toast you smell...I'm thinking hard.....*sigh*

Erm...I'm not so negative...really!

I'm really not as negative as I sound...I hope...I don't think I am anyways. Great, I was re-reading some of my lesser sane moments when I choose to write out my thoughts, and although you don't technically get the whole picture, a good bit of insight is offered into my mind. Although now I can add paranoia to my list of qualities, do I come off as a negative person? Yikes! I need to write more when I'm not in a quirky mood or complaining about something don't I? Hmmmm...but that's when I feel like writing...to bad for you I guess. Sorry about your luck chuck, suck it up buttercup. Famous last words. Smile, someone loves you.

2006 bites so far...It better pick up!

It's only been 5 days into the new year, and I want 2005 back (insert a childish whine and foot stomp here)! Maybe that's a little harsh, and I need to give 2006 a chance (after all, isn't it what you put into something that impacts how it will turn out?) Not that I really have a choice, 2006 is here and is continuing whether I like it or not. Anyways, in 5 short days a lot has happened to make me question my life and its path, and at times, question my sanity. I was right about the dog, and no I don't mean he died...I was up to my armpits in crap - well not literally, we made it outside each time....but mega gross! I will spare any further details, but I hope he will stay away at any further attempts I make at cooking! Then to top it off a "friend" has told me that he and his on-again-off-again girlfriend are having another baby...WTF?!?! Their son is 5 and a half and I love him to pieces, but these are the last people who need another child...not that I intend to be so judgmental, but perhaps I feel I have earned an opinion. You see, when child #1 was born they were both young and very immature (and still are). They were not ready for a child, and I stepped in and helped them out in anyway I could. I often had him for days at a time without so much as a call from his parents. I was with him more then his parents! He is often left on my doorstep so they can go out and party or take a 'break'. Who experienced a lot of his 'firsts'? Who stayed up with him when he was sick? Who rushed him to the hospital when he needed to be? Who took the time to read to him, play with him and take him places so he could start to experience life outside a smoky apartment? I did. I love him like my own child, but it saddens me that perhaps this child to come will suffer the same as this one has. No child deserves an absent parent, smoke filled environments, constant fighting, and being called names. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart further to know that some people would give their left arm for a child and can't have one, yet these people who only like the novelty of saying they have a child, can procreate so easily. I could ramble on forever about this, but enough is enough I guess. Just know that I am upset, yet if you have to find a silver lining, a new life is beginning and atleast they let me be such an active part in their lives, even though I couldn't give too much of a thought about them, I love their child/children. I pray that things will work out for the best.
Also, a new year and new life starts, so an old soul must part. The new year has started with a death in my family. Anyone who has experienced death knows the pain you feel when you loose a loved one. I will miss her very much, and know that she will watch over us from heaven.
Those are the highlights so far. Fabbity fab aren't they? I could add about my trips to the Dr. and the" oh my god, you can't be serious, I need "forest" shoes?" reaction I had yesterday at the doctors. So much for my professional career as a soccer player...maybe I will go back to modeling (sarcasm isn't easily detected in print is it?)...its not so bad and at least its temporary. I am far to rough on my feet, maybe I should put an add out for a personal foot massager. If your tall, dark and handsome, and perhaps have a foot fetish I am willing to hire you. Duties would include massaging and moisturizing my feet (Fear not: they are smooth and soft, not manish). Applicants should have strong hands and be willing to multitask ie: rub with one hand and feed me strawberries with the other. Payment is negotiable and I am flexible (wink wink). Split hour shift, however if applicant wants to double as a pool boy, that is acceptable...although you'll have to start digging a hole for the pool. Cheers! and here's to 2006 brightening up a bit!

My dog is going to die...

My dog is going to die....but the question is will it be by my hands, or by trying to pass what he has eaten? Back up a bit...my dog is a maniac. For a 100 pound Lab. Retriever he has a brain the size of a pea (and that is saying a lot). Sure he will do what you want when you are offering up a treat, and sure he seems to look alert and bright, but I know the truth! He knows a plethera of tricks and is great a protecting me (a little to great at times...sorry once again to the cleaning lady and the repair man..erlack!) Just when things are going well and he's being a good dog something has to happen and the proverbial shit hits the fan (usually this means I am up to my armpits in shit...but we'll see about this time). I went out today to enjoy a relaxing day of visiting and socializing with some girls from work. I took the dog for a nice long walk and then played with him before I left. Cooper (the satan dog) is used to being alone for awhile and for a long time was crate trained. He is now left out to roam parts of the house, with his crate close by as a looming threat "step outta line, I dare you! You'll end up back in here" (For the record though, he loves his crate and often is found lounging in it...so some threat that is). I went out for a couple of hours and when I returned a few strange things presented themselves, warning signs perhaps...
First, Cooper was not jumping at the door to meet me, nor was he in the window...he was lying down on the living room floor, then lazily got up to see me. Second, I went to get a bag from the kitchen for our walk, and I noticed the soup pot lid on the family room floor....hmmmm. WTF? I looked over at the stove and the soup pot was pulled towards the front. I was boiling a turkey carcass to make soup and had pushed the pot to the back to cool before I left. I peered inside and low and behold the big bone was gone! Christ on a bike! I searched high and low around the house for remains of bone or meat...nothing! When I went back to the kitchen I noticed the little rug I have by the sink was marked with wet spots/grease spots, and the kitchen floor was awfully slippery. How could this be? Did Cooper eat the whole carcass, bone and all?! It is nowhere to be found, so I can only assume that he did, unless there is a crazed robber on the loose, breaking into houses to steal soup bones, and leaving the valuables behind. I am anticipating a long night of visits outside...but I guess this too shall pass! Poooot!

New Years Resolution??

So call me a procrastinator...but I'm finally giving some thought to New Years Resolutions...should I or shouldn't I? What a crock of shit...why do we do this to ourselves? We set ourselves up for failure, then when we ultimately fail, we get depressed and down and end up feeling worse about our meager selves. There's always the gung-ho person who is represented by the "like I am totally going to stop smoking this year...its like my new years resolution"..then 2 weeks later, you pass them on the street on their smoke break. The look in their eyes clearly says, "you bring up my new years resolution, and I will shove this fag so far up your ass, u will shit ash for a week" Hmmm is it worth it? Another option is to set yourself up for a guaranteed success. For example, I could make a resolution to stop dropping acid before I teach, or I could say I will start showering everyday. Either way I am guaranteed to succeed and I avoid the feelings of failure. Again, is it really worth it? This takes way to much thought for so early in the morning. I guess I have "resolved" to take a middle ground. I am making a set of goals for myself. Some of these goals people might hear about, others I will keep to myself (that way if I don't achieve them, I am the only one who knows...muhahaha). Either way these goals don't have a lot to do with my phyiscal or emotional well-being (which I know is questionable at times), but rather things I want to do again, or start doing more of...like writing the great Canadian novel (hmmm maybe a trashy one) and get back to riding more (take that as u please), and I will think of a few more foods that really do smell like feet. Maybe I should give my goal list some more thought....Good luck to anyone who has made a resolution...you'll probably need it.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

It never ceases to amaze me that my best friend and I can be apart for months and just pick up where we left of the time before. She is the one person I can count on for anything and talk to about anything..its just a crying shame that we live far apart now. We seem to agree on everything...Although lately I'm not sure she is sold on my current interest in music...but we do agree that Mariah Carey must be the most annoying person on earth and we are convinced she is a tranny...Although we don't mean to insult transvestites by this (so sorry). Its just that she is "mainsh" (ha ha Mel) and it looks as if she is dressed by drag queens (they dress better then most girls for the record)...and really who gives a shit if you can sing like 8 octaves or something? I certainly don't..why don't you try not to have a breakdown and maybe put some more clothes on...we get that you have long legs...but we can also see that perhaps you have tucked a little extra something around if you know what I mean... We do, however, agree that Angelina Jolie, on the other hand, is the most beautiful woman in the world...and we are comfortable enough with ourselves to admit, that given the chance, we would both abandon our herterosexual ways for a night with her. Damn she is hot..and to be a fly on the wall with her and Brad...And just like that I am so far off my original intentions for a topic...back to reality (opps there goes rabbit)
So for New Years I wish everyone health and happiness, but for my best friend (and the closest thing I have to a sister) I wish so much more. I wish for you all that you dream of, and a year with the perfect man and lots of...well u know, we toasted ourselves last night and it would be kind of crass to just come out and say it (although I say this after writing about trannies). I also hope the best for both of us to become ridiculously rich so we can retire together and travel to Britain, Ireland and Scotland to toast our ancestors, eat haggis, drink Guinness (Erlack!) and turn those countries upside down wondering what the hell just happened, and who were those gals? I couldn't imagine my life without you...who knew that a day in a hot car and those damn bees would bring us close together...well I guess we were close when I jumped in your lap right? As they say: the rest is history! Cheers to you and Cheers to our Friendship! Happy New Year.